Oil on the Brain

I read an article a few months ago about some fundamental differences between the brains of men and women and I would like to discuss one of the more interesting points.

Let me also stress up front that I don’t remember really where I read this article. It was in some journal of scientific findings that is quite reputable. That much you can be sure of.

Since all of us men spent the majority of our time in eighth grade science class listening and learning instead of passing notes around about boys and cycles and giggling like a broken dentist’s drill, I’m sure I don’t need to mention how important the brain is in the daily lives of both men and women. Moreso in men obviously — because women use their brains less than men.

The article that I’m talking about said that men’s brain cells are coated in a kind of lubricating goo that conducts neurological impulses faster. Faster impulses mean faster thinking, which made a lot of sense to me in a hurry.

The article did plenty of pussy-footing and bending over backward with all kinds of crazy bullshit like ‘quick thinking does not mean better thinking’, when in fact everyone knows it does. But the data was there in buckets to prove the obvious: that women’s brains function about as fucking well as a dry Slip-n-Slide. That’s how women’s thought processes work, they run and jump and hit the rubber like a lawn dart.

Evolution says — apparently — that men have evolved into quick act-ers and do-ers with their mighty lubricated brains. Evolution also says that women have evolved to sit on the fucking couch and do nothing.