News Flash! Men Have Testicles!

Men and women are equal? Yea right. Where the fuck did that even start? Probably at the end of an ice cream and Chardonnay binge where the rest of women and their mythical, ego-building bullshit starts. You can have all the Tiki Taki Bed Bath & Beyond shit in the world, it doesn’t mean you don’t still need a man like your empty life fucking depends on it.

Men and women are perfectly equal except for these things men have that make them jump out of bed at the crack of morning and ask who or what is going to get his or its ass kicked today no matter what happened the day before.

Those things are called testicles. Man testicles. Men and women are not equal. Men are better than women.

Women are all chicken shit cowards. Trust me. I’m a man. I know what I’m talking about.

Have you ever met an ugly woman who founded a successful company on her own? No. The only women who found successful companies are attractive as hell. That’s because “successful” women get handouts from successful male entrepreneurs who need some eye candy at the top. What the fuck are these man millionaires supposed to do? Go to millionaire sausage conferences and yacht clubs with a bunch of other dudes? Don’t be obtuse.

Successful men have failed many times on their man rise to the top. It’s called learning. You don’t learn shit sitting around at home knitting; unless you don’t know how to knit, but if you have any knitting inclination at all you’re a woman and you already know how for some stupid saccharine reason.

Successful women have never failed. All every successful woman ever had to do was show up in a low cut top or give out a few inadequate blow jobs. I will say it again, what the fuck are man millionaires supposed to do? Go to millionaire sausage conferences and yacht clubs with a bunch of other dudes?

Either way, it doesn’t change the fact no woman has ever done anything that involved risk in her life; especially founding a successful company — but especially some stupid game that doesn’t mean shit to anybody. Let me explain.

A recent study at a university full of men says testosterone has a significant impact on the risks men are willing to retake for absolutely no reason. Absolutely no reason that is, except a big fat check in the Win Box. Well no shit. I could have told you that. Why else would men even talk to women or have sex with them at all since women are so goddamn lousy at it. It’s the Win Box.

What science discovered is a marked rise in the testosterone in male subjects willing to play a worthless game again after having been defeated. It is a simple step in man logic to realize full well this applies to anything and everything in life. Men don’t give a shit about money or getting laid per se. That’s not why we built spaceships and invented music and discovered the teachings of Jesus We did it because we have ants in our pants.

Did I say ants? Or did I say testicles.

Women are equal to men? Fuck biology and science since women can’t understand them anyway with their tiny woman-brains. When you start by shooting for a tie, you’re already the looser.

Every man knows that.

Some Nutty Science