The Rule of Thumb

Men, I want to ask you something. How many times have you been slapped? By women I mean. How many times has a simple argument or perhaps a bawdy and hilarious joke been countered by a flagrant personal foul?

I myself have been slapped more times than I can count — upwards of eight. But in return, I have never hit anyone that didn’t deserve it.

And women never deserve it.

That’s because women don’t know what they’re doing or saying ever. Women speaking is like giving a teenager a book of French idioms with no translations and a bottle of Cognac. Within ten minutes, they’ll begin spouting complete and inappropriate gibberish at anyone who walks by and won’t be able to remember any of it the next day.

That doesn’t mean they should have their asses kicked for it though.

Irene Frieze has recently published a report on the issue of women and domestic violence. Upon doing so, she immediately took out a restraining order against “Every Psycho Feminist on Earth” who mobilized en masse to prove her findings correct.

Her findings?

Women are way more likely to initiate physical violence in a relationship or in the home.

I should note that I didn’t actually read her findings, but they’re something to that effect. That particular figure was just generated on the fly by me.

Because of Miss Frieze’s ice-cold, sexy findings, I’m officially naming her’s Honorary Man of the Month. Easy peasy, way to go Friezey. What Miss July has done here, is taken a big man-step in busting the myth that women are made of sugar and spice and things that are nice. They’re not. Women are made of vinegar and piss and are loud-mouthed and slap-happy.

That’s it. There’s no cute little rhyme there because I’m a man and I hate that manner of shit.

Read more about Irene