Tennis Says Women Are Whores

This year, Wimbledon will be offering the same prize monies for women that they do for men. This is a first for Wimbledon, but it isn’t a first for women and bitching their way into higher pay without providing shit extra.

That’s something women do every day.

In an article I read about it, so-called experts say Wimbledon is bowing to public pressure. That’s where they lost me. In order to create public pressure, doesn’t a person have to not have anything more important to do during the day, like a fucking job or any hobbies or anything like that?

How about raising a family? No, women certainly don’t do that.

Wimbledon is paying women more for doing the same job they did last year because a bunch of fucking women used their free time to bitch about it.

Or did they?

I’m all for equality. I’m a man and I believe if you do the same job, you deserve the same amount of money. For example, if I lay some sod all over your yard, and someone else does it, but they throw some jokes in at the same time, or give you some lawn furniture and a fruit basket, then they deserve to get more money. That’s only fair.

Well here’s what fair about tennis. Women play tennis just like they play life: half-assed. Where men play championship tennis for the best 3 out of 5 rounds, women play for the best 2 out of 3. Do you know what that means? It means all women are whores.

Have any of you been to a restaurant and bar called Hooters? If you haven’t, it’s a place that sells not very good food. With that description, you might be surprised to find a plate of hot wings going for just as much as it would some delicious elsewhere. In fact, hot wings might be a little more at Hooters.

Oh did I forget to mention the waitresses at Hooters are busty and always wearing something skimpy? Because that obviously affects the price.

It’s the same in tennis. Women are doing the same job they did last year, which is half of what tennis men do. If they’re getting paid just as much — if their hot wings are just as much as the hot wings you’d buy from a male waiter — then it must be because of the sex appeal.

That’s exactly why there aren’t two separate minimum wages: one for men and one for incompetent jackasses. You can’t say one is for men and one is for women because that’s sexist. Women bring skimpy outfits and whorishness wherever they go and that’s factored into every cent they make; from cashier, to waitress, to tennis super star.

I’m proud of Wimbledon for finally equalizing the sexes. Tennis stars like Anna Kournikova and Maria Sharapova have been proving for years that being a great female tennis champion takes more than working a racket and using your footwork. It also takes a hot ass.

Smells like Deuce