The Missing Hen House Entrance

Women can’t do a lot of things in this man-world. Some man once wrote a song about that in the 40’s or 50’s or some other such man year. The lyrics said:

“It’s a man’s world, but it wouldn’t be nothing without a woman or a girl.” -James Brown

Obviously that was written during a time when women knew how to shut their fucking mouths when they don’t know what they’re talking about: always. The world may be nothing without a bunch of women and girls around fucking up, but I’ll tell you something else. With them around the world is one enormous run-on paragraph.

Men are better than women at using the Enter key.

The reason girls score above boys in primary school and all the other grades is because reading what girls write is the equivalent of eating like a 60 ounce tofu porterhouse steak. Indeed it is a monumental task, but you lose about a billion Man Points for ingesting that much soy. Did you know soy increases your estrogen levels? Stick that in your pipe and chew on it next time you think eating a soy burger to fuck a vegan is worth it. It’s not. Soy is exactly like vegans in that way. They’re both after your balls.

Additionally, the quickest way into a vegan’s bed is to trick her into eating meat. All vegan women are full of shit. They’re just looking to be smacked back in line.

Women can’t take an opinion, think it out, and then compose their ideas worth half a shit in a hail storm. That’s why they can’t use the Enter Key properly. As every man knows it’s one of the many tools for composing thoughts and expressing them properly; the most important tool being not having a head full of shit and shopping, which women already lack.

Go read any email you’ve ever gotten from a woman. Or better yet, read any comment a woman has left on this site. What you’ll see is a giant goddamn crossword puzzle with no clues and no black squares. It’s letters in every fucking direction the eye can see and none of it worth shit. Think the answers are in next week’s edition? Don’t hold your fucking breath.

I know what you’re thinking, ‘Dick, not all women are the same. Or are they?’

Yes they are. All women are guilty of every single thing I say they are — especially this one. And especially everything I say about marriage. There’s no such thing as exceptions when it comes to women; there’s just women who are better than others at lying. Isn’t that something to be very proud of!

While it’s true some women use the Enter key to fuck up their thoughts via neglect, it is also true some women fuck up by treating Enter like a set of parentheses.

It isn’t.