Be Afraid of the Dentist. Be Very Afraid

I am not a big fan of the dentist. I don’t like to make a big deal out of it because making a big deal out of shit that scares you is a womanly thing to do.

Women think being afraid of shit like driving and doing math makes them more attractive. I don’t know why. It’s probably because they learn too much Chinese Philosophy and other shit at community college — shit their woman brains can’t handle. See, in Chinese Philosophy there’s something called the Yin and Yang which describe the opposing forces of gender in the natural world. It naturally stands to reason that if men are afraid of nothing, which we are, women should be afraid of everything — especially math and driving! It makes them more womanly and thus more attractive.

Also, I am not afraid of the dentist.

If I was, however, it would only make me smart and nothing else. People who are afraid of the dentist are like people who are afraid of walking across a tiger pit with underpants made of meat.

Chew on this.

In your man mind, take a virtual walk into your local dentist’s office. What do you see? The receptionists? They’re women. Hygenists? Women. Patients? Probably half women. Jesus, these days women can even get dental degrees and open up shop themselves (provided some man puts his name on top of course). That means even the dentist himself can be a woman.

Per capita, there’s a higher percentage of women in the dental industry than there is in Yoga, The Day Time Television Demographic, and Chocolate combined. With an unmanned herd like that running the show, is it any surprise that dentists are fucked!

I’ve had broken bones set by male doctors before. They were male because I don’t go to female doctors. It may sound rude, but this is my life we’re talking about. I’m not going to let some sex fiend work on it outside of a brothel; especially one who most likely fucked her way through med school and was thinking about Sex and the City whilst she was taking her Hippocratic oath. Have you seen female doctors these days? If they want to be taken so fucking seriously, why do they insist on wearing makeup at the office. Is this a medical practice or a fucking cat walk? It’s disgraceful. I’ve never been to a male doctor who looks like he’s on his way to a club.

As I was saying, these male doctors performed the bone setting with such man-grace and skill I barely felt it. Ten seconds of getting my gums cleaned by a lady-doctor and I was ready to knock someone the fuck out — myself with pain killers.

Being a dentist is fifth on Dick’s List of the Seven Deadly Jobs a Woman Should Never Have. Want to know what the other ones are? It’s simple. Just ask yourself what you’re best at as a man. A woman could never hope to match your skill. That’s because men are better than women.

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