The Boob Tube
TV was invented by a man: one Philo T. Farnsworth. It was also proliferated by men. Businessmen — who reinvented paradigms and thought so far outside the box that my man senses quake at the mention of it.
Unlike women, men are good at both inventing things and proliferating them, but that’s not what I’m talking about today.
Television, with a history rich in the juices of man, is a total success for half of Earth’s population. The other half — women — know what to do with a television set about as much as horse-toothed monkeys know how to fold road maps.
Television is about relaxing and feeling good, but then it can also be about spreading information and learning. From your ABC’s to your HSQ’s — Hitler, Sharks, and Queer Eyes — television teaches as it entertains. The point here is that television is just like men: versatile as shit, which is why we’re so good at watching it.
Women on the other hand, are not versatile. They are one trick ponies, or nags if you prefer. And this trait is shown when they watch TV.
First of all, women will only watch shows that they’re friends watch or that are extremely popular. Talk about jumping on the bandwagon! Men (as manly pioneers) will devote several hours a day to pouring over the wide selection of programming available. Absorbing their contents like sponges and at a fevered pace. If there’s something good out there in TV Land a man will find it. A man will find it and then share it with the world. That’s why Santa Claus is a man. Because he pulls that same type of shit.
Women will also not watch commercials. The second the commercial section of the television programming starts, all women in the room will begin yammering like a backfiring chainsaw. I’ve even seen instances where women will mute the TV during commercials just so they can hear themselves “think” better. Blasphemy!
What women fail to realize is that commercials are the nutty, caramel center of TV. Commercials are packed full of news and information in a way that can only be processed by the quick firing male brain. There’s data in commercials by the tonne, and as men we listen and we learn from it without even realizing it. That’s what men do, we’re fucking listeners par excellence, which is Latin for “don’t even fuck with it”.
Finally, if you really want to know why women suck at watching TV, just point your remote to one of the women only channels like Women’s Entertainment or Oxygen. Unless you’re like me and you’ve set your cable box up to block those channels completely (and done so while completely drunk so that the unlocking password is lost forever — which I highly recommend) you’ll see some of the worst types of feminine bullshit that you’ve ever seen in your life. Non-stop crying, women getting raped like it’s going out of style, male characters who have as much depth and realness in them as a popped water balloon.
Women running and/or watching TV is enough to make you sick. Thank God there’s a Die Hard marathon and the first season of Monty Python’s Flying Circus on tonight. I should also mention that I have two televisions stacked on each other in my media room for just such events.
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ALL FEMICUNTS ARE PATHETIC CUMBUCKETS THAT ALL MEN SHOULD FUCK AND LEAVE THEM! BITCHES! WHORES! CUNTS! TAMPON HOLDERS! SCREW THEM, FUCK THEM, SMACK THEM, PUNCH THEM, STRIKE THEM, FUCK THEM IN THE ASS WITH A CHAINSAW!
GET ALL THE HACKERS YOU CAN FIND AND DESTROY ALL FEMICUNT BUSINESSES COMPANIES AND WEBSITES AFTER YOU HAVE TAKEN ALL OF THEIR INFO!
BROTHERHOOD RISE UP!!!
Guys check out these sites they are doing well and the numbers are growing rapidly!
http://www.the-niceguy.com
http://www.the-spearhead.com
ALL THE MEN RISE UP ALL THE BROTHERS RISE UP ANSWER THE BATTLE CALL TRACK THE CUNTS WHO COME ON THIS SITES TO THEIR HOMES LET THEM THINK TWICE ABOUT HW MUCH THEIR CUNTS CAN BLEED I HAVE FORMED A HUGE ARMY OF FRIENDS AROUND THE WORLD WE ARE GOING TO DESTROY THESE CUNTS IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME! ALL THE MEN START RECRUITING OTHER BROTHERS AROUND THE WORLD YOUR FRIENDS FAMILY WORKMATES THE TIME IS NOW! THE EARTH WILL BLOOD WHEN WE MAKE THESE FUCKING CUNT WHORES BLEED STABBING VICIOUSLY THERE’S NO STOPPING US CUNTS! EVERYTHING YOU CAN SEE WITH YOUR EYES BELONG TO MEN SO TAKE IT BACK! FIGHT NOW! STAND UP NOW! STRIKE NOW! 3 BILLION MEN HUNTING YOU CUNTS DOWN WHERE CAN YOU RUN WHERE CAN YOU HIDE! CHAINSAW RIPPING YOUR CUNTS OPEN FOR ALL THE BILLIONS OF BABIES ABORTED! ALL CUNTS WILL PAY!
Hahahahahahahaha!!!! Watcher=Mr. Empty-pants!!! Hahahahahahahaha!!!!
Chris=Mr. Empty-pants
Television is for women. I don’t waste my time on that shit b/c most of it is effiminate and not even grounded in reality.
wow, a tv on top of another. MANTASTIC!!!
Big Tits and Curvy Asses…
She moved and gyrated on the beach just like she was giving me a lapdance. When she bent over and showed me her ass while I zoomed in with my lens, you could see she was sporting a sweet bald cameltoe! It was so fucking hot I almost lost it! Her smooth…
friend using their vibrator…
I in no way want to misconstrue my appreciation for Kate Hudson’ s boobs. I’ m truly a fan and even though I believe she should have been Donkey Punched for You, Me & Dupree , it does not negate the awesomeness of her itty- bitty- titties!…
You say the same insult, over, and over, and over again. You have no imagination whatsoever, all you can do is memorize facts. Its clear you were not raised in the United States. You’re lame.
Get off the site, you sexually frigid, cheeseburger-eating Yankee Anglo-fuck. I hope you piss your boyfriend off to such an extent that he eventually has to split your head open with a baseball bat.
I’m only boobs and an ass! Someone, quick, fuck me! I’m getting away!
I absolutely love this. I have a great idea to write a book about how women dominate men by making their penises pulsate and ache for us. Ya know, I get you hard, then I slap your dick and laugh. haha. I’m going to get braces soon and everyone will get free grind jobs! yay
You must be fat.
That’s fine, because right now i’m hanging broken glass from my penis with strings so i cut up my girlfriend every time i’m inside her,
You see i can be offencive aswell.
Jessie I agree all women aren’t the same. Some are just fatter than others.
I never see commercials. Ever . You know why? Because I have a little device called an Mvix player. You stick any computer hard drive inside it, hook it up to your tv, and it plays whatever media you want.
So now, instead of having to wait for The Simpsons to come on, I have every single episode downloaded and at my disposal. I have every episode to date of Family Guy, King of the Hill, Weeds, Star Trek, South Park, and many many more complete series. And I have over 100 movies.
Screw cable. By phasing out commercials, I can fit 3 episodes of simpsons into my hour instead of just two. That’s man efficiency right there.
When I want to know about a new product, I wait until I see Homer using it. *laughs*
Besides, It’s not like I’m not subjected to 100’s or 1000’s of ads every day. I work in a big-box store. I surf the internet. I visit with friends. Each of which subjects me to 100’s of advertisements, much to my sugrin.
What I call man efficiency upgraded is to never watch any shit on TV. Watching telly is for pussies. No hard feelings, bro.
Let me just say in my defense, not all women are the same!
Dick,
I am undecided if the rolls here are from feministing.org or feministing.com,
Is that you Amanda, you naughty girl, escaped again and without your prozac.
Dear oh dear. Mother won’t be happy !
Which will be when some woman on a cell phone smashes into you at a red light.
-Dick
What the hell was that load of rubbish about.
Car insurance is useless? It wont be at your next car accident.
“By the way it has been proven that women’s insurance claims cost much less than mens, dammit an advert has snuck into my subconcious. Damn women’s car insurance.”
Supposedly.
Men can look at something and see through the bullshit, we’ve got great bullshit detectors. Although sometimes we’re subjected to so much bullshit in too short an amount of time that things start to slip by us (very rare, but has happened on occasion).
Women, on the other hand, can be swindeled out of anything. Anything ranges from car insurance, car maintanence, the color of the red stoplight, their virginity, and, all in all, anything. They can even be swindeled so badly that they can actually think they still have whatever it is they just lost, or even that they got a HUGE deal on something that was a ripoff!
For example, Palestinian boys will scream and hollar at American tourists about being cheated if you don’t pay “10 dollar” for a single picture of a man and his girlfriend. This causes the woman to fall apart into emotional shambles, but the man is able to calmly recognize that that single picture isn’t even worth 50 cents (but is still generous enough to give a dollar, or maybe he just wants the broad at his side to shut the hell up about being insensitive…).
So, all in all, MAYBE women’s car insurance is lower than men’s, but they (women) make up for it by paying for other “addons” that make the insurance “more valuable” when it’s really as valuable as buying gold teeth for your dead pet monkey…
Dick has been indoctrinated too much by the adverts. God bless Kerrang! and their heavy rotation of System of a Down!
Adverts are entirely one sided and designed to make you consume, nothing else is important, they don’t care about informing you!
“what in the hell are you talking about?”
If you don’t understand the concept of retail and advertising you have no place in this conversation, no matter whose site it is.
You ignored my entire comment except the P.S. which really wasn’t that important, frankly I don’t care about you and your stripper friends Dick, does anyone?
Do you have anything remotely related to advertising/brainwashing to say? Or are you just a waste of space?
Since you discredited my proven theory perhaps you have one of your own.
Who wears boob tubes? Strippers for one, but what in the hell are you talking about?
A television set is commonly referred to as a Boob Tube.
Jesus, Nicole. Every time I’m sure you can’t make women look any more clueless you surprise me — and look twice as clueless. And take my man word for it. That’s the only thing you’re doing on this site. Embarrassing women. As in making them sorry to be women. Completely masculine kudos on that. You’re a credit to your gender.
-Dick