Keep The Camping To Purse Sales

Men are much better than women at camping. In fact, women are so bad at it, that there’s almost nothing as unpleasant as camping with a woman.

Except maybe one thing.

Camping with two women.

Women are full of shit. They shirk the equality curtain when it fits like a snake shedding its skin, and in the case of why women can’t do things like camping, construction working, or cigarette smoking worth a damn, they run the princess game faster than Logan. It’s a bunch of shit though. See, you can tell immediately because a woman is saying it.

The dirt and the infrequent showers have nothing to do with why women hate camping. Imagine this if you will.

You’ve accidentally locked yourself inside a shitty motel room in some hick town because you dropped a suitcase on the door knob and broke it off — accidentally. The only thing in the room for entertainment is a television set. Then it turns out that, oh great, some prick broke the television set.

Does that sound like fun? No fucking way. If you weren’t a man that kind of thing would reduce you to a babbling, neurotic mess within an hour. That’s why women behave like shrill disasters when they are taken camping; because nature is a woman’s Podunk, locked-in motel room and her mind is a broken television set.

How many women philosophers have there been? There has never been one, because not only do philosophers have to buy their own bullshit (and no woman ever has ever believed a word she said), but they also have to be alone with their thoughts for longer than the four seconds it takes a woman to say, ‘Not tonight I’m tired,’ and then pass out on the bigger half of the bed.

To all the young men out there — and I see this all the time, if you’re holding out for a woman who can go camping with you or some other klepto-crazy shit like play video games with you or what have you, I have one piece of advice. Why hold out for one? Why not just hold out for two…or a dozen?

Fuck, the sky’s the limit in fantasy land where a woman can go camping without embarrassing herself and everyone she’s with.

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