Motive Means Nothing; or The Church of Feelings

If I gave $20,000 to an orphanage because I wanted orphans to be happy, a bunch of orphans would be happy and everyone would agree that I’m a fucking great guy.

If I gave $20,000 to an orphanage because I burned one to the ground when I was twelve and I feel guilty as shit about it, a bunch of orphans would be happy and everyone would agree that I’m a fucking great guy.

Welcome to the real world.

Motives don’t mean shit to orphans. Motives don’t mean shit to anyone. In fact, motives only mean something to those of us who have the luxury of falling vagina-first into money and never having to use our brains for anything but a hobby.

Those of us are called women, and those of us need to fuck off my website.

The reason it’s called a “man’s world” and not a “woman’s world” — or a “getting pregnant is as important as nuclear power and calculus world” — is because men understand that silly things like “intentions” don’t get you anywhere in this world.

If it was a “woman’s world”, intentions would get you everywhere. You could drive to the store on a gallon of “really wanting some Popsicles.” A world of intent is the she-topia of the modern woman. Not a single reason or consequence for anything, and especially no genitals.

With no genitals, women could walk around in the tightest little sweaters they wanted while still “not intending” to attract the occasional harmless grope. Big fucking deal. Someone grabbed your boobs. It’s not like you’re using them for anything.

Puppies grow up, unprotected sex won’t keep your hair from falling out, and intentions don’t mean shit. The sooner women realize the world doesn’t work the way they think it does, the sooner we can all stop paying for frivolous workplace harassment lawsuits.

It’s frivolous for women to be working. Therefore, it’s frivolous for there to be workplace harassment lawsuits.

The Church of Feelings

No religion cares about women because women all have their own religion. It’s called the Church of Feelings, and services start the moment a woman wakes up.

However a woman feels about something, that’s the way she remembers it happening. Women’s realities work in reverse. If a woman feels bad about wrecking the bumper on her SUV, then she didn’t mean to do it and history fucked up by not getting the memo. If a woman “tried her best”, then whatever it took fucked up by being too hard. If you disagree, it’s your fault for not remembering it properly. And if any of that sounds bitchy, then that’s your fault too because the woman who said it didn’t mean to sound like a bitch.

The world doesn’t care how you meant to act or how much money you meant to make. The world doesn’t care if you didn’t mean to fail.

Men enjoy failure. We enjoy being tested and we enjoy improving because of it. Sports are proof of this. Sports, inventions, sex, business, rock ‘n’ roll, climbing Everest, and every other thing in the entire fucking world are proof of this.

Men enjoy failure. It’s just too bad we’re not built for it.

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