It’s Just Coffee. Settle the Fuck Down.
I like my coffee like I like my women: cheap and brought to me by another woman. And just like women, coffee is nothing to get excited about.
Coffee is like a penis. It’s a tool a man uses to get the job done as quickly as possible. It’s not a reason to wake up in the morning and it’s not a philosophy.
In that case, coffee is exactly like a penis because that’s what both are to women: a reason to live.
Men are better than women at coffee. First of all, women make shitty coffee. The man-invented coffee maker does a perfect job of making perfect coffee. Then women go and fuck it up with two packs of sugar and a half pint of cream. Why not just drink caffeinated honey, you big fat fucks?
Also, women are simple and retarded.
Simple and Retarded
When men drink coffee, it doesn’t become the focal point of our personalities. It’s just coffee. Settle the fuck down. Men are complex and interesting and there are better things in the world for us to base our personalities on. Faster things. Louder things. Things that are immortalized in bronze and steel. Men cost more than $3.65 plus tip.
Women are simple and boring. They only mature enough in their crappy lives to embrace a handful of simple and boring things. Things like dogs and babies and weddings. Weddings are so simple women can actually plan them with little help from men. That’s because you can’t fuck up a wedding. Weddings are already permafucked.
Women have the maturity level of circus freaks. If they’re not bored out of their skulls sitting at a nice restaurant with nothing interesting to say and no one to give a fuck about it, then they’re ecstatic with mania. Women only have two levels on their emotional thermostat: Dead and Crazy. That’s why they obsess about the simple trinkets in their lives — like coffee — with the tenacity of spoiled two year olds.
Also, women are full of shit.
Full of Shit
When a man is busy, he gives off the impression that he is busy. When a woman is an abject failure at life, she compiles a universe of quirks and preferences to give off the impression that she’s busy. An obsession with coffee is a perfect example of this.
Coffee is the first and easiest shortcut to martyrdom. After all, if a woman is so dangerously addicted to coffee, doesn’t that mean her daily struggles and Woman Workload require almost a man-sized supply of energy?
Any woman who is obsessed with coffee is trying to tell you something:
“Appreciate me for how hard I work at looking like I’m working hard.”
Man Zen.
Self-Obsession is easier than Self-Improvement.
Coffee is to women what boobs are to men. No matter what’s happening around us, we’re still partly thinking about boobs. The same goes for women and coffee. The difference is that a man-brain can be divided into many different tasks. Dividing a she-brain is like trying to fold a CD in half. If you try to, make sure you don’t wear protective goggles because that would be a loss of Man Points.
Asking a woman to embrace anything more complicated than “beans plus heat equals coffee” is like expecting a couch to fit in your buddy’s Civic. Asking a woman to obsess about nostalgia and sloth, however, is like not asking her anything at all and letting her continue about her daily business — which was obsessing about nostalgia and sloth.
Coffee is about putting fire in your brain so you can get off your ass and start pounding rivets. It’s not meant to be enjoyed.
“What’s a rivet?” says a woman.
Rivets are like men. They hold the world together.
Case Studies in the Self-Obsession and False Martyrdom of a Female Coffee Obsession:
Mommy Needs Coffee!
Busy Mom!
Coffee Mom!
*Listed in order of fatness
Leave it to a mother to think of a way to “need” a break from the permanent vacation of motherhood.
Related Articles:
March 13th, 2008 at 4:18 am - IP Man-Hash: 04f5baddf578b
You are upset over 50 years? Ha! Women have been oppressed and treated like dogs way long than 50 years. I honestly do not think men have it as hard as you claim either. Sure some hardcore feminists are out to try and retaliate but not all women are out to get you. And I couldn’t care any less if I recieve your respect or not, it really is no loss to me. I know male who have said to me, regarding this site, “No matter how much you argue with them they will never get it so just ignore them.” I personally think I am automatically the bigger person here seeing how I am not out to degrade anyone or hope and pray that some people have rights taken away from them in the long run. The maturity level here is also pathetic. You all do not have anything better to do than to say things like, “Go wash your cunt” and “Cumstain.” Like, are you serious? These comments are not even relevant to the discussion at hand. Anyone with the maturity level of a high-schooler could sit there and flap their gums all day with insulting names, that is all they are, names. They do not even really apply to me, therefore, you have not hurt my feelings. A few of you have proved you know how to be mature and discuss an issue and your concerns, most of you, however, do not understand the meaning of “mature.” So, I am willing to actually discuss issues with those who are mature enough to refrain from calling me names, etc. Anyways, off to class I go to actually project my energy towards something more beneficial and intelligent. Bye.
March 13th, 2008 at 4:54 am - IP Man-Hash: 9342b2aa308e5
Oppressed and treated like dogs?
Here’s your challenge then Kelly. Prove it.
It should be easy. You’ve been taught this all your life. Everybody “knows” it’s true. Or do they? Give us the examples.
Before you try I suggest you visit the Gendercide website and learn some new stuff.
And I remind you that the primary indicator of oppression is death.
March 13th, 2008 at 4:57 am - IP Man-Hash: 9342b2aa308e5
@ Kelly…
That link should be Gendercide.
My apologies.
March 13th, 2008 at 6:46 am - IP Man-Hash: d653cff06dec4
Fuck off the site Kelly.
May your blade chip and shatter.
March 13th, 2008 at 9:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 10597a32ac513
I’m leaving, peace.
March 14th, 2008 at 2:30 am - IP Man-Hash: 9342b2aa308e5
Not up to the challenge Kelly?
I’m disappointed but not surprised.
Just another pseudo feminist woman who likes to make outrageous claims but when asked for substantiation goes missing?
March 14th, 2008 at 7:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
She’s an idiot, coward, and a liar. What did you expect?
March 14th, 2008 at 10:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 60bbd967a6d59
What an interesting site. The times they are a-changing. Males are clearly viewed as expendable cannon fodder by society in general, and women in particular. It is testament to public idiocy that feminist claims remained unchallenged for so long.
March 26th, 2008 at 8:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: 014db30b5bf59
Kelly, whoever you are, I think you are a very intelligent young woman, you are fair and objective, and I don’t blame you at all for finally leaving this site. And for you guys out there, if you would have just given her a chance and looked past the fact that she’s female, maybe you would see that she makes a lot of relevant points.
Oh, and by the way, this site is absolutely hilarious. If I had taken any of this crap seriously, I probably would be lecturing right now as well, but it really isn’t worth it… at the moment. All I can say, is that the person who created it either has the intelligence and maturity of a 12 year old, or is emotionally distressed. I’m not even trying to insult you, Dick, I’m just pointing out the psychological truth.
Before you start pointing fingers at me, I’m not even a feminist. I’m an equalist :P
March 26th, 2008 at 8:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 66b540c3bf88b
You have it wrong. It’s not that she’s a woman, it’s that she came bickering like a child with a temper tantrum. You’ld know this if you saw the first pots she made. and don’t worry, we’re glad she left too,
Last thing, fair and objective….we’re talking about the same child, right?
March 26th, 2008 at 8:48 pm - IP Man-Hash: d653cff06dec4
Psychology - the ‘god’ of beta males and feminists.
April 1st, 2008 at 7:33 am - IP Man-Hash: 582fb4b338d83
Youre correct dog. The sexual dynamic is that the incapable but necessary (for pro and recreation) want to control the means of their survival and comfort through intimidation and denial of access. To do that they’re stuck having to diminish the very being that is equipped to guarantee their existance and safety. Naught will come from discussions as all is programmed. There is one functional sexual paradigm and it isn’t letting the ignorant, capricious and incapable lead the way (as is currently the way). One cannot expect fidelity or intelligence if one does not learn to value it and internalize it, and one cannot internalize it and understand the potential if one is not wired for it.
Complaints about “racism” and all the other isms are an attempt to make the obvious unacceptable. Those that cry loudest about the various isms are in fact those that practice it to the finest art for their own selfish benefit. Thusly I have joined their ranks, but only in spirit disclosure. I’ve no problem admitting my various racisms, genderisms, nativisms etc etc but my greatest ism is resultism, something that the commonly used defense of claiming outrage with the popular isms is expressly designed to avoid through plausible-denial-of-personal-responsibilityism. I declare that I’m no longer affected by any charges of my social failure by any supposed isms, rather I embrace my all isms and declare them definately positive survival mechanisms. To wit: If you ‘d think I’m a racist, genderist etc etc, OK I AM, and unashamedly so, my defense being that I am productive ismist and generative through them and taking care and responsibility of myself, rather than the others who use their exposure of isms to do nothing, to generate naught but excuses for their actions and demands for others to perpetuate them in their infantilized state.
Bottom line? To expect perfection on this plane and with these tools is unrealistic. Problem is that the powers that be are doing all they can to destroy the beneficial aspects of ‘manning up’ because they thrive on chaos, and that’s what you get when everything is pussified.
Respectfully submitted,
Darrell Harb
April 2nd, 2008 at 6:04 am - IP Man-Hash: 03c9caed6e307
hi dick,i’m sabeur from tunisia…i’m 19 years old and i’m a student…there’s a channel”mbc 4″ wich prodcast all dr phil shows,so i did have the chance to know you and to tell you through this website that you are absolutly right….we can’t let women take controle,because if they did,it will be the end of the world…
well that’s it,thank you
April 2nd, 2008 at 6:46 am - IP Man-Hash: 74e56a790443a
well saber i hope that u wont belive this shit head asswhole (dick) cuz my bf is tunisian and he belives in women right and always say to me that arabian people belives in women right so i hope that youll change ur mind soon
April 2nd, 2008 at 7:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: 490d8c7453ac9
“Shithead asshole”, is that femspeak for a male with a clue? Here’s another example of the feminine desire to squelch the truth in exchange for autistic nihilism at any cost (to others preferably)
Mooz for womens rights? Are you from another planet? Are you mental?What a perfect example of arrogant ignorance endemic of the species. Sadly the only thing that arabic culture has gotten right, likely by accident as nobody can be perfect, even perfectly wrong, is the integration of subjugation of women culturally so that they cant get or assume or be allowed or be accepted to attain a position of power sufficient to fuck things up as they have in western culture. Not that they could assume anything of consequence on their own but there are those men who will cover and prepare the ground for them in this regard, in exchange for the usual expected reward of access to that most holey[sic] of grails. Sadly the cost of reminding westerners that women can’t as matter of routine be relied upon for mature responsible behavior is death and dhimmitude.
Whydoncha get yer head out of your People or InTouch magazine and read a book that isn’t about conspicuous consumption or getting men to do your every bidding,
Respectfully submitted
Darrell Harb
April 7th, 2008 at 3:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4fd6ae2b34f2e
My husband is Mexican.. he believes the same thing. As well as my relatives that are men, that are White. So, that’s what 3 races of men ? Hmm.. ol Dick seems to be gaining a hatred & dismissal from the masses of men & women.
April 8th, 2008 at 4:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7dc04fff3c919
Dude, you’re fuckin awesome. keep it goin’.
April 10th, 2008 at 1:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3d11fe36fe871
One man from each race says something, and you reckon they speak for 3 entire races?
Jeez women are so fucking dumb.
April 16th, 2008 at 2:58 am - IP Man-Hash: 815f3775cf668
EVERYONE READ THIS!!! I have ONE question. WHY WHY WHY do some of you guys on this site respond to ANYTHING these women say on these comments? IGNORE THEM. THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.
I make a prediction. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU GUYS WHO TALK TO THESE STUPID WOMEN ON HERE HAVE WOMAN PROBLEMS IN YOUR PERSONAL LIFE BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T LEARNED THE SIMPLEST TRUTH.
WOMEN HAVE NOTHING TO SAY, AND YOU ARE BETTER OFF IGNORING THEM.
It doesn’t MATTER if they “made a point” because they’re women and they DIDN’T. It doesn’t matter if they write a comment directed at you. FUCK THEM. THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO EVEN BE HERE. The first lesson a man learns in his journey for peace is to STOP LISTENING TO WOMEN.
I don’t give two shits what a woman says on here. I don’t even read their posts. As soon as I determine they’re woman, I ignore them, just like I do in real life. GET A CLUE MORONS. STOP LISTENING TO/RESPONDING TO WOMEN. You’re making fools of yourselves, guys, and you’re playing woman’s games here on a site that’s specifically designed as a refuge from that very bullshit.
And ladies, if my ignoring you on this site bothers you, feel free to be ignored here:
myspace.com/spatiotemporalaentropy
and here:
myspace.com/purestwrath
and here:
myspace.com/majickturtle
and here:
myspace.com/syntheticwraith
Those are various band pages, and I know how you women are suckers for men who ignore you and treat you like garbage cans, so why don’t you make yourselves ALMOST useful and increase my music plays by visiting those sites! But you’re not allowed to email me anything with text. PICTURES ONLY because whether or not you realize it, you have nothing to say to me. Your mouth is to be used as a birth control device, NOT a communication tool.
~Manos.
May 14th, 2008 at 9:58 am - IP Man-Hash: 5af46747e88f8
Quoted for the truth.