TMZ Agrees With Me. Why Don’t You?
If you thought about that question, you’re a woman. Fuck off my website.
Below is a short segment of the television show TMZ covering my appearance on Dr. Phil. Yes, TMZ calls me a “douche”. Yes, TMZ calls me an “actor”. But watch this clip “between the lines” and you’ll discover something mancredible.
TMZ agrees with me.
It would be impossible for a news agency based in the den of prostitution, failure, and fashionable eating disorders that is Women in Hollywood, to disagree with me. Just look at a picture of Harrison Ford smiling like a choir boy and then a picture of Amy Winehouse looking like a doped-out mule. You’ll agree with me too.
Men are better than women at Hollywood.
The men of Hollywood are the pinnacle of class and sophistication. They represent the purest qualities of manliness and that’s why they’re famous. Just look at Cary Grant or James Bond or WC Fields. Fuck, look at Robert Downey Jr. That guy is a drugged out mess, but Iron Man was so awesome I didn’t even care that no chicks got naked in it.
Women have ruined free tits in action movies. So much so that I don’t even expect them anymore — like I did in the time of Demotion Man and Terminator. Thank God for ubiquitous internet porn. Otherwise 13 year old boys wouldn’t know what a tit looked like until they shackled a wedding ring around their ankle and tossed a fat bitch across the threshold.
The women of Hollywood are the purest whores on Earth. That’s why they’re famous. Money grubbing and dumb as the day is long. The quickest way for a woman to gain fame and respect from other women is to be a whore. Men aren’t buying Paris Hilton’s album. Women are. For every Nicolas Cage, there’s a Heather Mills. For every Alec Baldwin, there’s a woman who wouldn’t suck ten cocks to give Justin Timberlake a sponge bath.
That means there’s only one woman who wouldn’t do that.
Men are better than women at Hollywood, but men are not better than women at eating Hollywood shit. Welcome to celebrity gossip.
Check your internet browser history after your wife has been alone in the house for 3 hours. This is what it will look like:
10:05 PerezHilton.com
10:15 TMZ.com
10:32 Zappos.com
10:40 TMZ.com
10:41 TheSuperficial.com
10:45 PerezHilton.com
10:46 TMZ.com
10:46 Ringtones.com
10:47 PerezHilton.com
10:48 TMZ.com
10:49 PerezHilton.com
10:49 TheSuperficial.com
10:50 ObviousSpyWare.net
10:55 gawker.com
10:56 TMZ.com
10:56 MenAreBetterThenWomen.com
1:05 MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
Women suck down celebrity gossip like a bum with a 50oz. bottle of Thunderbird Ltd. The only difference is, women shed money for it like bums shed stink. Ask yourself one question, if TMZ agreed with me 100%, what could they say? How could they not piss off their target audience while simultaneously telling fat cunts across the board to hit the treadmill.
Answer: They would compare me to Charlie Sheen.
Charlie Sheen is the Santa Claus of pussy. He bleeds awesome because he has three balls and nothing can stop him because technically he doesn’t exist. He’s actually a manifestation of macho. Like how Kobe Bryant’s rape charge was a manifestation of one blond whore wanting attention? Charlie Sheen exists only as a fabricated manifestation of manliness. He is will incarnate and women line up to fuck him.
Aside from Maddox not asking me what Man Points are because he knew instinctively that asking questions about Man Points is a loss of Man Points, being compared to Charlie Sheen by the world’s biggest celebrity news agency is the highest compliment I’ve ever received.
Prostitution and alimony are the same things. Both are paying the whore the leave. All women are whores and if you don’t think that’s true, find me one woman who hasn’t fucked a guy for money, fame, or attention — or because he bought her something nice on Valentine’s Day.
Attention ladies, fucking a guy because he paid attention to you makes you a whore. Time is money. If you could keep a roof over your heads without getting on your backs, you’d know that.
Manclusion
You’re a douche, I’m a douche, everyone’s a big fucking douche. I see what you’re saying TMZ people, and I’ve been saying it for years. Men are better than women at knowing when we’re getting served a shit sandwich and told it’s chivalry.
Women are as subtle as a tank. When you’re speaking in subtleties to women, you might as well be talking about the stock market. They don’t get that either.
Special thanks to montreal for making this post possible.
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May 11th, 2008 at 11:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 28fa84c0579b4
And that is a great answer! You see guys, she is willing to resign from her privilidges, just because she doesn’t want to see you hurt and fucked up. And it’s not just a great or a clever answer. It is a sincere answer. In fact that’s one of the best women’s answers I have heard in some time. Give her a credit guys. I wonder what else this woman will surprize me with… She has a potential to be the type of a women, you would want women to be, so let’s help her out with this, insead of putting her down. After all most of the bitches don’t even have guts for having this kind of ambition in the first place.
May 11th, 2008 at 3:51 pm - IP Man-Hash: 99015b0d09af7
Why don’t you just move to canada and give her a piece of your vag?
May 11th, 2008 at 3:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3e8d1e2b2a4c4
I have had the grave misfortune of travelling across Canada on a recent itinerary and I must confess that the country as such is one of the most deplorable places on earth to live; it is one of the most brutal matriarchal tyrannies on the surface of the planet, even more perilous than the previous experiment in gynaecocratic social engineering and egalitarianism directed by the old Bolshevist regime in Russia. Canada is a female-dominated totalitarian shit-hole run by feminist bigots and socialist cranks who enforce their crypto-Marxist ideological views upon others with a ruthless efficiency that would make even the Gestapo or any Totenkopf squad of the Waffen-SS blush red with shame. Maybe the Americans to the south of the border should invade *Soviet Canuckistan* by killing off that evil, feminist-dominated Liberal dictatorship in Ottawa, putting to rest that mindless policy of rampant multiculturalism and bilingualism by finally terminating the last vestiges of the legacy of Pierre Elliot Trudeau, that ultimate feminist icon, and establishing a true democracy. However, one could certainly entertain the possibility that maybe an eventual Yankee assimilation of Canada, one of the world’s worst cesspools of human feces, urine and vomit, would not be necessary. Canada has one of the lowest birth-rates on the surface of the planet, nearly approximating zero growth. According to Statistics Canada, the birthrate dramatically plummeted by a whopping 25.4% between 1992 and 2002, resulting in a crude birth rate of 10.5 newborns for every thousand Canadian women. This is because every single Canadian woman is a sick, frigid cunt who sees heterosexuality as a legitimate form of mental illness. The typical Canadian woman is a tireless, even fanatical advocate of the notion that the male libido is a psychiatric disorder that should be treated by either physical or chemical castration. Canadian women are their own worst nemesis; with the fanatical hatred of human sexuality so prevalent amongst those Protestant Anglo-Saxon whores, the nation of Canada is bound to cease to exist in the near future. Maybe the record levels of primary sexual frigidity, erotophobia and materialistic greed found amongst Canadian females is the Sword of Damocles that we have all prayed for in earnest; the less cold, selfish Canadian bitches we have in existence, the better we shall all be.
Every single Canadian woman on the surface of the planet is a self-centred, narcissistic, arrogant whore whose heart is as cold as flint; her greed for the acquisition of material possessions is truly infinite. The typical Canadian woman deserves to be tied up in leather bondage, only to have her head busted in with a sledgehammer, her eyes subsequently gouged out with brass tongs, and her tongue ripped out of her mouth with a set of red-hot pincers. Canadian women deserve to have their veins injected with arsenic or potassium cyanide. All Canadian women either merit being locked within a gas chamber to be slowly asphyxiated as she sucks on carbon monoxide fumes from some car exhaust system or should be allowed to choke on the sweet fragrance of Zyklon B. It would probably be safe to say that the best way to deal with any Canadian woman is to take a knife and slash her throat the minute she identifies herself as a Canadian. Others, not wishing to get their hands dirty, would prefer to take a Canadian woman, smash her head into the nearest concrete wall and then snap her neck with their bare hands. Whatever one thinks is the best way to kill a Canadian woman, it goes without saying that every single Canadian woman on the surface of the planet deserves to be shot in the back of the head.
Let me recite an anecdote from my own personal reminiscences as a world traveller illustrating how to best deal with Canadian women (if you absolutely must). From the following narrative, it should be obvious that the best way to treat any Canadian woman is to have her subjected to mind-blowing physical tortures that would even scandalize le Marquis de Sade.
I was strolling through the downtown core of Bangkok, that Paris of South-East Asia, when two Canadian women of Protestant Anglo-Saxon extraction, in their early to mid-twenties, had the greatest misfortune, unbeknownst to them, of accidentally being seduced by me. Being the worldly and sophisticated expatriate and homme des belles lettres that I am, I easily managed to convince both Canadian women to accompany me to the beaches for a few bottles of Chang, the local Thai lager.
At this juncture of my narration, I must remark, by way of digression, that my serendipitous discovery of these two lost Western women filled the depths of my soul with inner rejoicing. As all worldly wise travellers doubtless know, the overwhelming majority of Canadian women encountered abroad are innocent, naïve, and gullible; having been pampered with silver spoons all of their lives and possessing little experience of the world, they are quick to believe any seemingly harmless, smooth-talking white man with a funny accent and a limitless cash flow undoubtedly used to facilitate any act of libertinage his heart so terribly craves (such as myself). Every single Canadian woman one accosts in the street is more often than not a woman who cannot take care of herself (without the help of her husband or the Canadian federal government) or survive for any length of time outside of the overarching umbrella of Western European culture. It is this trait of innocence and child-like behaviour found in all Canadian women which makes them ideal targets for those who wish to rape, torture and kill them.
Unfortunately for the two Canadian girls I had but recently befriended, I soon wearied of the intellectually devoid tête-à-tête they seemed all too capable of offering me; much of their idle banter seemed to revolve around fast automobiles, luxurious penthouses, and generous Swiss bank accounts. As a means of changing the conversation, I casually intimated to both girls that we explore the beach and easily persuaded them to continue onwards with me to a more exotic, remote location. Once we reached our secluded locale, I finally decided to act. My first move was to take out a steel hammer I had concealed on my person for quite some time; I then espied my victims. I saw the first Canadian girl playing in the water on the beaches and the second one picking flowers to weave into her long, flowing hair. Wiping the sweat off my brow, no doubt produced by a blazing hot Thai sun, I pounced on the first girl like a Bengal tiger with claws wide open; I seized her by the back of the neck and forcibly submerged her head under water. I then proceeded to vigorously beat her head and torso in with the hammer I held firmly in my right hand. I beat her so savagely that her blood and brains literally soaked the beautiful, light turquoise polo shirt I was wearing.
After I had killed her, I immediately turned my loving attentions to the second Canadian girl. Her body began to convulse violently as she began shrieking hysterically about how mercilessly, how viciously, I had managed to thrash her female companion to death. I told her to shut her bloody gob or I would slit her throat and inseminate it with the hot fuck of a mighty male orgasm. Moreover, I informed her that she should feel no trepidation, because she would get her come-uppance and would soon cease to exist forever. However, the poor girl became inconsolable and began sobbing uncontrollably. In an attempt to silence her, I took my hammer and lunged towards her in a vain attempt to bust her head with it. Upon feeling the first hammer blow, she managed to get up and began to sprint like a wild gazelle. Enraged, I chased after her. In her despondency, she had tried to elude me; however, given my greater physical stamina and endurance, she soon found the effort to be an impossible exercise in futility. She ended up collapsing into a heap of broken flesh on the beach. As was contingent upon the very situation itself, I found it necessary to assume a stoic frame of mind as I cautiously began to encircle that silly little girl, echoing the sacred rite of some obscure danse macabre.
However, before I was able to deliver the final coup de grâce, she began dangling her passport in front of my eyes as if it were a jar of pablum. I could faintly discern a trail of glistening, purplish blood streaming down her head from the blow I had previously given her.
“I’m a Canadian citizen, sir, please don’t hurt me. I’m a Canadian, sir,” she cried, with the most pitiful tears streaming down her cheeks. “Please, sir, I’ll suck your dick for free if you let me live. I’m Canadian, sir. Please don’t hurt me.” Her morose plea for compassion fell upon deaf ears; it was as if her tears had fallen on the marble visage of some sculpted figure. I laughed raucously, as is the wont of callous rakes such as myself, the details of whose personage seems to have been finely chiselled many times before in some Hogarth engraving.
I told her to take courage and admonished her with some verses from St. Paul: O death, where is thy victory? O death, where is thy sting? Suddenly, I pounced on her passport like a savage beast of prey and ripped it up into pieces. I forcibly opened her mouth and rammed the shredded bits of her Canadian passport down her throat. She first gagged and then began to struggle violently, to which, in order to permanently immobilize her, I found it necessary to take my hammer and begin beating her as ferociously as I had pounded the last girl.
By means of raining savage blows upon her head, I managed to physically desecrate every square inch of her body until her flesh had become completely tenderized and every bone in her body was irreparably broken. In fact, I was able to pound her so thoroughly that she ended up becoming a writhing, twitching mass of ripped skin and pulverized bone, laying almost completely paralyzed before my feet. As I surveyed the scene of the carnage I had so skilfully wrought, I quickly noticed that she had a large, neatly folded Canadian flag in her purse. I decided to improve the delicious tableau vivant by unfolding it and placing it neatly upon the ground; I squat over it and subsequently smeared excrement on top of it. I then proceeded to take her beloved flag and used it to make a noose more complicated than the Gordian knot to wrap around her neck. I lassoed the rope around a tree limb and proceeded to hoist her broken body up into the air. I left her suspended from the tree by the nape of her neck, as a visible warning sign to all Canadian (as well as all American and British) women who cross my path.
ALL CANADIAN WOMEN DESERVE TO BE SAVAGELY BEATEN AND TORTURED TO DEATH!
May 11th, 2008 at 4:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5f3a30b88dc6
Release the horny male Orangutans, Jeevs. Commander Scott needs a good repeated ass-raping.
If a pseudo-intellectual psychopath were to write pornography, I guess this would be it. At least we have a example of his writing to compare to any personal psychopathic manifesto that may be published in the San Francisco Chronicle.
May 11th, 2008 at 4:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6aef8623b5e5c
lol, I dont’ think I’ll be commenting on that on the internet….
May 11th, 2008 at 4:58 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6aef8623b5e5c
Thanks Studioline ;)
And I’m glad I’ve found this website while I’m relatively young….I wouldn’t want to be in my 40s and behaving self-righteous when it’s something I haven’t earned, but instead have had put in my hands because of feminism. A lot of women seem to think they’re special because of what’s between their legs when in reality, well….they’re really not.
May 11th, 2008 at 10:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 01160a78e0597
Anyone notice Dr PHil when he said he was bringing up issues that matter? His eyes tell the truth and the truth is that he knows the issues don’t matter. Ah yes Dr. Phil is making a good living decieving the gullible. As always tell the children what they want to hear and they love you.
May 12th, 2008 at 3:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 3e8d1e2b2a4c4
Like every other Canadian and American woman, she deserves to be tied up, doused with gasoline, and set on fire.
May 12th, 2008 at 4:17 am - IP Man-Hash: 95fe9bdeecec5
You deserved to have all your bodily orifices stuffed with orangutan penises. The Orangutan nick-named “Big Al” I hope, will stuff his cock down your mouth.
May 12th, 2008 at 5:20 am - IP Man-Hash: e0f0a45876d85
He called it.
May 13th, 2008 at 11:40 am - IP Man-Hash: d05fa877b7b02
Canada covered in a few feet of snow all winter??? you have obviously never been..
May 13th, 2008 at 11:41 am - IP Man-Hash: d05fa877b7b02
haha.. fucking dumbass
May 13th, 2008 at 4:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3998a8b322a57
I am in complete agreement with ‘Dick’ (nice name BTW), but I have to ask you a few questions:
1. Have you ever tried being a homosexual? It’s great having a sexual attraction to OTHER rational, thinking human beings, instead of a harlot.
2. Do you think women’s status should be reduced to that under the Taliban? I certainly think so: we wouldn’t have to see their faces, and we’d have constant sandwich making, shoe polishing little robots.
3. Are you aware of the connection between women and the Republican/Democrat Parties? It’s a disgrace: vote Constitution Party, so we can install the American Taliban in place.
4. Have you thought of just establishing the death penalty for women, transsexuals, men with long hair, and men with earrings in order to completely eradicate women from society?
5. Should female animals be killed as well? They, after all, bear the same curse Eve does.
May 13th, 2008 at 6:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: da5eef8ca71bd
We aren’t going to kill you. We’re just going to rough you up a little bit; maybe even give you a good dicking if you aren’t too worn out afterwards.
May 13th, 2008 at 6:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: da5eef8ca71bd
Now this is actually a good one. The only problem is that we’d need to combine the best aspects of the Taliban with a more modern, sensible approach in managing our manhole resources. For example, who says they deserve those nice robes? Hell, why give them any clothes at all? That’a ways, you manholes don’t have to wear those annoying bras and heels you’re always bitching about, but you can still look fabulous and gay all week long. You’ll just need to dispose of the plastic properly and wash the cum out of your eyes.
Hey, there are worse things we could give you than an orgasm and a free place to live, sweet-tits.
May 14th, 2008 at 5:03 am - IP Man-Hash: 6aef8623b5e5c
I live in Canada…and where I live we DID have a few feet of snow all winter. I actually do the current weather conditions that get sent out to environment Canada (tho probably not much longer, they’re not impressed about the whole army thing). We had snow right from December on through until about a month ago. We had more snow this winter than the past 2 combined, and there was a big issue with some of the cities running out of places to put the snow they cleared away.
May 14th, 2008 at 1:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8aba6e0d099b0
Hey, you know what you’re doing? Bitching and moaning. You know who bitches and moans? Women do.
So… The only conclusion I can come up with is that you’re a fucking woman in denial. I wouldn’t be surprised if you haven’t been laid because you have a pussy instead of a cock and you hate yourself for that, therefore you hate women.
May 14th, 2008 at 3:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: 762f592339f3a
I was bitching…? Didn’t mean to bitch- was just pointing out that yeah, Canada does have snow in the winter, lol.
May 14th, 2008 at 6:56 pm - IP Man-Hash: 233c1a61f884c
Dick you are a fucking god to me, MEN ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN!(at least better than american women)
May 14th, 2008 at 7:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3e8d1e2b2a4c4
Men are better than women, at least better than american, canadian, and british women.