Donde Esta El Common Fucking Courtesy?
Men invented languages once our thought processes evolved beyond the scope of expression of grunts and pointing. That never happened for women. Anything a woman ever thinks about or says can be expressed in sounds horses and pigs make; namely squealing and donkey hee-haws. If you need proof of that just listen to a woman when you’re driving at a perfectly acceptable distance away from the center divider on the auto-freeway, or if you’re about to run a red light. She’ll start donkey hee-hawing like the best of them.
Women can’t speak as well as men. They don’t know what the fuck any words mean and they can’t stick their thoughts together well enough to make sentences that make points. Women’s thoughts are like sticks of butter. You can throw them around and make a big mess, but nothing’s going to stick.
That’s not what I’m talking about today though. Sure women aren’t as good as men at speaking their own languages, but when it comes to foreign languages, women are a complete joke.
A woman who knows a foreign language is like a woman on the internet: so fucking rude and crass and inconsiderate that it makes you sick. How many of you men have ever been this situation around two women who speak the same foreign language and are under the impression that you do not. What they do is immediately start gabbing to one another in the foreign tongue at normal volume and leave everyone else so far out of the loop that you would think you’re at your own funeral. Is that how one behaves in a civilized society? We just start telling secrets and talking shit right in front of everyone’s face? No. Fuck no that that’s not how we behave because this is a man’s world and men have a little thing called common courtesy.
It’s not like you need to know their common language to know what the hell they’re saying anyway. They’re talking about penises. That’s all women talk about when they think they’re alone. Penis this, penis that — they’re obsessed! It doesn’t matter though because even if they’re talking about you and your giant penis, it’s still extremely rude. Women never evolve beyond the forth grade — and that includes slipping little cutsey notes back and forth to each other right out in the open so they get the attention for being naughty.
That reminds me of something else I wanted to mention earlier this week. On the subject of women flaunting their lascivious behavior like it’s some kind of Girl Scout merit badge. Women love being bad. They crave a bad reputation like it’s the antidote for being born a woman. Ergo, if you ever want to turn a woman from a nun into a complete nympho in like ten seconds, just tell her that she looks like a good girl.
Context? Don’t make me laugh. Women aren’t that complex and they never will be. Just walk up to one at a bus stop and say, “You look like a really nice girl.” Ding, Ding! All aboard! Next stop: Getting Laid. Population: you.
Men are better than women at using and speaking foreign languages because we use them to get business done and to find out where things are on vacation — also to order strange menu items that we’ve never seen before and possibly share this information with others. Women just use them to talk about penises in front of a shit load of people without getting caught.
Related Articles:
November 4th, 2005 at 4:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0402bb3a1939d
Running out of material?
November 4th, 2005 at 4:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
No.
-Dick
November 5th, 2005 at 9:29 am - IP Man-Hash: 83c6b51bd31cb
Context? Don’t make me laugh. Women aren’t that complex and they never will be. Just walk up to one at a bus stop and say, “You look like a really nice girl.� Ding, Ding! All aboard! Next stop: Getting Laid. Population: you.
*******************
Dick, you outdo yourself daily. Where do I send the hospital bills I get when I fall out of my chair laughing at your wit?
The Geezer
November 5th, 2005 at 10:57 am - IP Man-Hash: a0c7c73d83830
Ah, thank you, Geeza. Better yet where do I send the MABTW.com business cards? They’re a handful of good clean fun.
-Dick
November 5th, 2005 at 5:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76b1c81002963
Ah yes, women that great non-communicator.
I have to deal with them everyday as well as female office staff.
Their conversational ability is without limits, the content of which leaves a lot to be desired.
Men mostly just stand back and listen, they are thinking to themselves ” he we go, another tower of babel, it only takes two females to make one tower “.
Example from yesterday.
Women walks into the room, I know they havent seen each other for a while.
G1..”oooh nice to see you again, your hair really suits you that way”.
G2..”ooohh….I like your necklace, where did you get that from”.
And on and on and on………
That’s where I shut down, my brain is already going into overload, it’s saying “leave….click…leave..click…leave now, it’s going to be one of those brain numbing conversations that women wallow in everyday.
November 5th, 2005 at 9:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 83c6b51bd31cb
Dickie poo. You did send me a bunch, in a plain, unmarked envelope, with no return addy, yet. I so feared you would send them with “Porno tapes enclosed” in big bright letters. You are a stealth devil, aren’t you.
Geezer just loves passing them out in the Peoples Republic of Seattle, in the FU-WA (feminist utopia of Washington, for those of you who don’t know)
November 6th, 2005 at 1:38 am - IP Man-Hash: f4037fee9e037
Brilliant!
-Dick
November 7th, 2005 at 3:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: b20676aae8560
One of the least boring conversations I ever had with a woman was with an Italian girl who spoke English fairly well. We were talking about all kinds of things… she seemed rather intelligent.
Later on, after she’d had a few drinks, she (bizarrely) lost all ability to comprehend English.
Anyway, the good thing about foreign women is they usually don’t know the language well enough to talk about the pointless shit they would in their native tongue, and they’re forced to put some effort into the conversation. Perhaps.
November 7th, 2005 at 3:30 pm - IP Man-Hash: b20676aae8560
I just noticed this post - it’s exactly the kind of pointless, utterly irrelevant question you’d expect from a woman.
November 8th, 2005 at 5:12 am - IP Man-Hash: b522825ecb752
I fail to see how this article represents a “running out of material”. This is just as material an argument as any other in the ongoing discussion of how men are better than women. Women have nothing of any importance to say, which is why you will hear them use the word “like” at least 3 dozen times in any conversation.
Honestly, as difficult as it is, pay attention the next time you hear a member of the lesser sex try to narrate some mind-numbingly boring anecdote to someone. You will hear nothing but filler and useless detail. If you can make it through the conversation without stabbing yourself in the face, you will hear the word “like” used as often as Steven Siegal kicks ass, and that’s pretty fucking often.
Women suck at talking. Period.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:49 am - IP Man-Hash: 896d03f22be3a
Im 19 I found your site at 4:00am its now 5:33am
I can read and write english, german, french and spanish.
in high school spanish was the hardest language for me to learn as my woman teacher (born and raised in mother fucking mexico) couldnt speak english for shit. she couldnt comprehend that in order for me to understand what a word meant in spanish, I had to know what the word was in english, needless to say she failed me and so I showed her that I new some sign language as well, which made her mouth sound like a fire alarm
February 28th, 2008 at 6:11 am - IP Man-Hash: bffa05d3c8d1f
Welcome aboard Chad. Wish I knew what all this stuff at 19.
May 5th, 2008 at 4:33 am - IP Man-Hash: 6f551c4f0d3cb
On my way home from a lovely night of drinking I took the liberty of using that line, as I had just read this the day before and happened to be at a bus stop. Guess who got laid? come to find out she was married with two kids, I almost felt bad, but then I remembered that I dont give a damn. Thanks for the material Dick.