Donde Esta El Common Fucking Courtesy?

Men invented languages once our thought processes evolved beyond the scope of expression of grunts and pointing. That never happened for women. Anything a woman ever thinks about or says can be expressed in sounds horses and pigs make; namely squealing and donkey hee-haws. If you need proof of that just listen to a woman when you’re driving at a perfectly acceptable distance away from the center divider on the auto-freeway, or if you’re about to run a red light. She’ll start donkey hee-hawing like the best of them.

Women can’t speak as well as men. They don’t know what the fuck any words mean and they can’t stick their thoughts together well enough to make sentences that make points. Women’s thoughts are like sticks of butter. You can throw them around and make a big mess, but nothing’s going to stick.

That’s not what I’m talking about today though. Sure women aren’t as good as men at speaking their own languages, but when it comes to foreign languages, women are a complete joke.

A woman who knows a foreign language is like a woman on the internet: so fucking rude and crass and inconsiderate that it makes you sick. How many of you men have ever been this situation around two women who speak the same foreign language and are under the impression that you do not. What they do is immediately start gabbing to one another in the foreign tongue at normal volume and leave everyone else so far out of the loop that you would think you’re at your own funeral. Is that how one behaves in a civilized society? We just start telling secrets and talking shit right in front of everyone’s face? No. Fuck no that that’s not how we behave because this is a man’s world and men have a little thing called common courtesy.

It’s not like you need to know their common language to know what the hell they’re saying anyway. They’re talking about penises. That’s all women talk about when they think they’re alone. Penis this, penis that — they’re obsessed! It doesn’t matter though because even if they’re talking about you and your giant penis, it’s still extremely rude. Women never evolve beyond the fourth grade — and that includes slipping little cutsey notes back and forth to each other right out in the open so they get the attention for being naughty.

That reminds me of something else I wanted to mention earlier this week. On the subject of women flaunting their lascivious behavior like it’s some kind of Girl Scout merit badge. Women love being bad. They crave a bad reputation like it’s the antidote for being born a woman. Ergo, if you ever want to turn a woman from a nun into a complete nympho in like ten seconds, just tell her that she looks like a good girl.

Context? Don’t make me laugh. Women aren’t that complex and they never will be. Just walk up to one at a bus stop and say, “You look like a really nice girl.” Ding, Ding! All aboard! Next stop: Getting Laid. Population: you.

Men are better than women at using and speaking foreign languages because we use them to get business done and to find out where things are on vacation — also to order strange menu items that we’ve never seen before and possibly share this information with others. Women just use them to talk about penises in front of a shit load of people without getting caught.

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