Ask Dick: What is a Donkey Punch?
Out of the hundreds of men I have asked, only one has known the true and correct definition of The Donkey Punch.
The Donkey Punch is like the Highlander. There can be only one. Prepare to be educated.
The Donkey Punch is a sexual move like the missionary position or the threesome; and like most sexual moves, you can actually do it.
Here’s a list of things that the Donkey Punch is not is.
The Donkey Punch is not jizzing on a girl’s face and then punching her in the mouth.
That’s called assault and battery and it will send you straight to prison. It will also fuck up a girl’s face. Unless you’re the type of person who shits in mailboxes, fucking up a woman’s face on purpose is a major loss of Man Points. That’s like taking candy from a baby. It’s all they have.
The Donkey Punch is not hitting a girl in the head while you’re boning her.
Punching a woman in the head does nothing for your physical pleasure and might break your hand. It’s called a “boxer’s break”, and if you’re not a former boxer, let me tell you something about breaking your fist on someone’s head. It’s a loss of Man Points. The Man Points are doubled if that head belonged to a woman.
Breaking your hand on a head: -500 Man Points
…on a woman’s head: -1,000 Man Points
…while you’re nailing her: -10,000 Man Points
If you want to risk your Man Points, then that’s up to you.
The Donkey Punch is not striking a woman at the base of her neck during orgasm.
Women are like pinball machines. You put money in, you don’t get anything but a good time, and if you smack them around too much, it’s game over. A restraining order is the Tilt of life.
Smack it hard enough and you’ll break the machine. Then no one has any more fun.
What the Donkey Punch is, is a punch delivered to a woman’s ass during intercourse. That’s it. Try it yourself and you’ll know why they call it a Donkey Punch. If you disagree, why not invent a sexual move that involves a woman jumping off a roof and landing on your cock. Call it the Stupid Jackass.
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January 18th, 2008 at 5:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
Bwha, what? Where does the bitch-wife driving her hubby away even begin to enter into this? How hard is it to look at something and say:
MEN MAKE BETTER PARENTS THAN WOMEN.
That’s all there is to say. If the men were automatically the primary caregivers, America would not be a utopia but our children would be better off. Just admit you are wrong and move on, Rachel.
January 18th, 2008 at 5:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0484bf1246f02
Your name is King Wang.
I could actually just state that and win the argument like *clicks fingers* that.
Your name is King wang.
I have won.
Now it’s time to rub salt in the wound by destroying you.
I do tend to speak a lot, I concede, but it’s hardly a female approach to ‘rightness’
You think I speakth but say nothing at all, but the majority of the time I have to repeat myself.
T-Bong? Wow, that was so witty and humorous I think I pissed myself, I mean like, you replaced the second word of my name with ‘bong’
with comedic genius like that you must get all of the girls.
Your comment is a perfect example of your complaint against me. All you are saying is that I have said nothing at all
but King Wang
theres a difference between saying nothing at all
and you just not understanding it. I act like a woman, you mean i’m right? ow man, some of the other big boys on here wont be pleased about that =(
I’d say that you were a barking dog at 3 AM, but dogs have such a higher intelligence than you it would be an insult to compare them to you.
”Essentially, you prove everything I said of your kind, you have no argument, and you only whine to do so, not to prove shit.”
o.o
In the last paragraph you said I was man.
You just said that all men have no arguement and only whine to do so, not to prove shit.
People on here won’t like you defending woman King Wang.
Nice contradictions.
The same could be said for this whole wesbite. You know, the stupid never say anything important.
You make fun of retards on short buses,was this your school bus? Yes it was, wasn’t it? It’s okay King Wang, I won’t make fun of the fact that you’re a disabled child. I understand its not your failt that you still have to wear nappies, and it’s not your fault your still breastfed by your mum.
Next comment, point out somthing that I said that you don’t understand and I will explain it to you. I will hold your hand through the process so don’t you worry ^^
If I am stupid King Wang, I hate to think what you would be classified as.
Severe retardation… that’s a good one, but it doesn’t even come close to describing you =)
January 18th, 2008 at 5:51 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0484bf1246f02
It’s extremely hard to say that when you seem to think that children with severe mental disorders are better off than ones with low self esteem.
Obviously you know nothing of Antisocial Behavioural Disorder. People suffering from it go against lawful behaviour, or rules, or whatever people tell them to do. They don’t obey people mindlessly, they’re not animals. You wouldn’t be able to ‘point out the stupid ones’.
It would not rule if the neighbour walked up to you and slit your throat. They lack remorse, empathy, they’re aggresive, manipulative and are not ‘hitmen’.
Oh, and not only has this disorder been linked to lack of a mother figure, but also back to alcoholic fathers.
January 18th, 2008 at 5:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2549d98cd6672
T-bag, many thanks for typing what I was thinking but could not be assed stating. You have self-sacrified your own time for naught though I’m afraid. These people revel in their cult of the retarded.
January 18th, 2008 at 6:48 pm - IP Man-Hash: 55548152be297
I’m enjoying the whole ‘Brits are better than Americans’. Sure we have some serious flaws in our government but don’t even get me started on yours.
It’s a joke.
The royal family is a joke.
Tony Blair is a joke.
You got booted out of a country you fancied you controlled. The British military is a joke. Seriously, fuck off Mangina (or are you a woman?)
- Sgt. Reyes
January 18th, 2008 at 6:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0484bf1246f02
Firstly, Tony Blair isn’t the Prime Minister anymore.
Therefore he’s not even relevant.
And the royal family are just… there… they have nothing to do with the government or the way the country is run. The way I see it the only point in them is the speech the queen gives every year, that some people watch on TV.
All I can say is that Britain doesn’t have George Bush. George Bush is more than a joke. He makes every American look bad. He’s an idiot, and somehow managed to be re-elected. Not only does that say awful things about your goverment, but about the general population of your country.
Anyway, I’m Northern Irish and have dual nationalities. You have New York and L.A. We have Belfast, home to the IRA and petrol-bombs.
We’re oh-so-feminine.
January 18th, 2008 at 7:19 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
So the girly-girls here could win arguments by, say, calling someone out on their alias. For example, your name is T-bag and the chickety behind me is Ray, which implies some degree of trans-sexuality.
Once again, no facts, just emotional self-serving bickering. Now suck my dick.
January 18th, 2008 at 7:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 720a12647a390
There so much flawed argument in the trolls posts I can’t be bothered picking them apart. In fact, it would be like shooting fish in a barrel, but far too wasteful and time consuming considering the sheer volume of repetitive bullshit. I will say this much, Repeating oneself over and over doesn’t make it true. Especially when what one keeps repeating is sundry insults and nonsense.
January 18th, 2008 at 7:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: 55548152be297
No one is saying Bush deserves to be in office. Unfortunately, he is and thankfully is being voted out of office. I can’t stand the guy and yes I do understand that Tony Blair isn’t around anymore and so on and so forth but bashing the United States doesn’t support your earlier argument that:
‘Nobody is equal and no one race is greater than the other’
So at the very least don’t contradict yourself. I for one am very patriotic and while my country may have it’s flaws and stupid presidents it’s still that: My country. So stick to the matter at hand which is ‘Men being better than women’ and leave the ‘which country is more stupid’ argument out of the equation.
- Sgt. Reyes
January 18th, 2008 at 7:30 pm - IP Man-Hash: 720a12647a390
As for Ray, your assumption that we hate women is nothing more than that, an assumption. Best you reassess your opinion there, and I still dispute your capacity to appreciate generalised humour. Your politically correct petticoat is showing.
January 18th, 2008 at 7:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
For a bitch who has been proven wrong, you sure do keep your jaw flapping. And exactly what do you plan to accomplish by whining and crying about this site to people who couldn’t care less if you decided to play chicken with a train tell US about YOU? Self-absorbed, self-centered, repulsive personality - just a typical girly-girl who never earned a thing in her life.
You may notice I showed the mathematical equations at work.
And to think that you kept at it. Oh well, I suppose the stupid American bitch has something else to do now. I liked the whole ‘losing faith in American men’ too. I can’t remember which trannie whore wrote that, but it shows a fuck load of ingenuity. Hell, maybe one day you bitches can build your own rocket to the moon.
Oh, and if you’re planning on moving overseas and seeing how they treat girly-girls there, you can read through this before giving me a lecture about how much more a sheltered white girl knows about the world than we do.
http://www.singleabroad.com/articleasia.html
Hahahahaha! You’re dumb as fuck, so there’s no fucking way your dirty, pasty, chunky self could ever compete with a slender Asian whore who would:
1. Shut up
2. Sit down
3. Leave the next morning
So far, transsexual bitches like Michelle with her little abortion fetish aren’t really discouraging men from getting a broader perspective on exactly what a normal woman is.
Let me reiterate: Yes, yes I would rather have a hollow shell of a girly-girl with D cups WITHOUT the vendetta against men. Sorry, whores, if you’re dirty, fat, or too stupid, you just don’t make the cut of how a normal person should act.
And the most plausible explanation thus far is:
You lose, slut! It turns out that knowledge is never dangerous for anyone except those who profit from ignorance! Without your petty little pussified society and laws privileging the stupid whore, you have nothing.
January 18th, 2008 at 9:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: 955ecd7b9aea4
Men have always been superior to women because they have a higher constitution, physically and intellectually. He would last longer, on his own, than a woman would. Statistics and averages are irrelevant here…I’m not leaving room for anomalies. You take any given guy and compare him to any given girl, he’ll be better at lasting longer.
The best man has always been better than the best woman. This also brings with it a disadvantage; the worst man is more terrible than the worst woman. The man has the potential for a greater range of character (good and bad) and therefore, along with his superior traits, he creates superior qualities and personalities, but can in turn be capable of more hypocrisy and calamity in the contradiction or failure to uphold those superior traits. A man’s failure is harder than a woman’s because he has more responsibility.
The woman can never even begin to go the depths of a man.
“Ponder woman?” asked Nietzsche. “Women aren’t even shallow” he answers.
That modern technology has eliminated most if not all natural threats that used to be endured in earlier man, is not to say that therefore the standard by which we determine the ‘better’ sex has changed. The fact that a saber-tooth tiger will never attack you while you’re going to get the newspaper on a Sunday morning, doesn’t change the fact that the man would have better chances of surviving if one did. The fact that a person can go from broke to $20,000 credit limit in one signature and a breath mint, doesn’t change the fact that if commodities were harder to get, the man would have better chances of survival because he is more industrious.
Most of the feminists are arguing for equality in a setting where survival is easy, and they mistake the sudden changes in environment, making it less threatening, as a disqualification of the superior traits in the male which give him better chances had these changes not occurred. A credit-card is a recent contingency. A car is a recent contingency. A microwave dinner is a recent contingency.
The muscular stature of a male is a million-plus year investment of evolution. The intelligence of the male is a million-plus year investment of evolution.
He does not become an equal sex simply because life has become easier for you, ladies.
January 19th, 2008 at 10:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 0484bf1246f02
‘Nobody is equal and no one race is greater than the other’
Nice going mate, but I was the one that said that, not Ray.
=/
January 19th, 2008 at 10:34 am - IP Man-Hash: 0484bf1246f02
So what you’re saying is:
Some men are greater than some women.
You can’t say that all men have better muscle structure than all women, or even better bone structure, because their indivudual bodies were designed for different purposes.
Like, Men have tend to have big broad straight shoulders, which means they do have the tendency to be able to carry things better.
but then again women do have larger hips which helps child birth, and their breasts have milk ducts and blah-de-blah blah
Each of the genders bodies were designed with a purpose in mind, so womans bodies are also that of a million years plus of evoloutionary investment.
Saying that women would not have survived back then without men is also quite flawed, seeing as a womans breastmilk gave the childs immune system what it needed to survive, you didn’t have formula back in those days, or advanced medical treatment.
I agree with what you said about the best men being better than the best woman, this is an inarguable fact, that doesn’t mean i’m saying that there are not any great women about.
Mens results are all over the place, which means the greatest men is the greatest, and the worst man is the worst. Woman have a more average rate, which means woman nearly always win with the average, which is why I detest it being used as a means as a judge for the ’superiority of a race.’
Your thing about men being better than women at fighting…hmm…that is sort of true
but men were raised to protect their woman, as woman were essentialy…assets back then? This was the time of the gentlemen and honor, don’t forget that woman got pregnant a lot more back then, and therefore needed a lot more protection. I’m sorry, but even the greatest fighter alive would have trouble defending himself if he was pregnant.
Also bare in mind that is almost always the woman that raised the child, the father had very little to do with it back then, somthing that has thankfully changed, but unfortunatly changed due to feminism.
And also, the reason that the majority of men went exploring and made all these awesome discoverys was mainly because
hm
well it was because men couldnt always secure a mate.
Woman nearly always had a chance of having a mate as there were a lot more men back then, and well, they had no need to explore
but men on the other hand couldn’t always get a girl, so in fear of wasting their life, they went exploring and discovered amazing things.
So i am not saying that men back then weren’t awesome and didn’t do awesome things
I’m just offering a reason why =)
Don’t forget that these recent contigencys also affect men, so although woman have become more…womanly, the same has happened to men.
The reason for the feminimity of our modern generations is not because of ‘women being bad parents’ or anything
it’s becaue life has become too easy.
(By the way, thank you for offering sincere points and putting forward actual reasons.)
February 3rd, 2008 at 1:27 am - IP Man-Hash: 0a379370a5fd8
And now the Man-reality:
http://www.donkeypunchclothing.com/mensdonkeypunchtshirts.aspx
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Atomic+Donkey+Punch
April 4th, 2008 at 11:32 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6a7efaeafe42a
Dick,
Unfortunately, you’re mistaken. A donkey punch is when you’re fuckin’ a girl in the ass, and when she cums, you punch her in the kidney. And pull out quickly. Don’t do it in your bed, because it makes a mess. THAT is a donkey punch. I doubt anyone has ever done that, but it sounds fun! (After convincing the girl to let you hit it, why ruin the effort you put into it?)
Tim
April 4th, 2008 at 11:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
Manliest breakup ever. Consider it asshole tax.
April 5th, 2008 at 1:24 am - IP Man-Hash: 271ca43bb0c55
High IQ serial killers are just Alphas who have been thwarted by fixed social hierarchies in their quest for power. Most of them are skilled social manipulators and natural leaders. A small minority of actual ‘leaders’ are Alphas, too - the ones who make a real difference (Alexander, Ghengis and Hitler). Hence the world we live in has been inescapably shaped by the deeds of men who would have become serial killers had their major life-events happened differently.
April 5th, 2008 at 1:36 am - IP Man-Hash: 271ca43bb0c55
Britain is the most stupid country on earth because if someone is being burgled or attacked and they try to defend themselves, THEY end up in prison while the criminals are sent on Safari!
May 8th, 2008 at 2:48 am - IP Man-Hash: 975e4df2bad95
U FOOLS! A Donkey Punch is a fat punch to the head of the bitch while nailing her (vaginaly) doggy. At the same time u squeeze it into the stinky while she passes out her ass and cunt muscles contract and and makes u jizzle up her belly