Ask Dick: What is a Donkey Punch?
Out of the hundreds of men I have asked, only one has known the true and correct definition of The Donkey Punch.
The Donkey Punch is like the Highlander. There can be only one. Prepare to be educated.
The Donkey Punch is a sexual move like the missionary position or the threesome; and like most sexual moves, you can actually do it.
Here’s a list of things that the Donkey Punch is not is.
The Donkey Punch is not jizzing on a girl’s face and then punching her in the mouth.
That’s called assault and battery and it will send you straight to prison. It will also fuck up a girl’s face. Unless you’re the type of person who shits in mailboxes, fucking up a woman’s face on purpose is a major loss of Man Points. That’s like taking candy from a baby. It’s all they have.
The Donkey Punch is not hitting a girl in the head while you’re boning her.
Punching a woman in the head does nothing for your physical pleasure and might break your hand. It’s called a “boxer’s break”, and if you’re not a former boxer, let me tell you something about breaking your fist on someone’s head. It’s a loss of Man Points. The Man Points are doubled if that head belonged to a woman.
Breaking your hand on a head: -500 Man Points
…on a woman’s head: -1,000 Man Points
…while you’re nailing her: -10,000 Man Points
If you want to risk your Man Points, then that’s up to you.
The Donkey Punch is not striking a woman at the base of her neck during orgasm.
Women are like pinball machines. You put money in, you don’t get anything but a good time, and if you smack them around too much, it’s game over. A restraining order is the Tilt of life.
Smack it hard enough and you’ll break the machine. Then no one has any more fun.
What the Donkey Punch is, is a punch delivered to a woman’s ass during intercourse. That’s it. Try it yourself and you’ll know why they call it a Donkey Punch. If you disagree, why not invent a sexual move that involves a woman jumping off a roof and landing on your cock. Call it the Stupid Jackass.
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Wait, wait a second. I looked back on what I cited and look at this - a child raised by your boyfriend will actually be LESS likely to end up in prison than if you had to step in. See, that’s the world we live in - a world filled with ungrateful whores like you who think that if you ‘tried your best’ it somehow makes you equal or superior to me.
“Why does David Burgess believe this? Carefully consider what the
above statistics mean. An average of 4% of our nation’s children grew
up in single-father households, an average of 30% grew up in
single-mother households, and an average of 60% grew up in
two-parent families, with the remaining 6% growing up with
grandparents, foster homes, uncles and aunts, etc. Children from
single-father households are under-represented in juvenile prisons by 4
times, and children from two-parent families are under-represented by
3 times–BUT children from single-mother households are
OVER-represented by TWO AND ONE HALF TIMES (2 1/2 x). ”
- http://christianparty.net/sfh.htm
“Juveniles committed to juvenile prisons (Texas):
Less than 1% are from single father homes
20% are from 2-parent homes
79% are from fatherless homes”
Oh no, your not a whiny stupid bitch, and I acknowledge that, i truly do, your just a chronic masterbator that gets jealous of the fact that you know you will never get to have sex with a girl. Maybe another man, because you do come across as a bit of a poof, not that there is anything wrong with that.
you say that single mothers cause all the problems in society essentialy, but the fact is, there is a considerable amount more single mums than there are fathers, a load of men get woman pregnant and then bugger off.
I admit that men do enforce discipline into a child, but when a man and woman raise it together, the child ends up better than with just one parent raising it
I would have to say that you were probably a girl that got pissed off with the fact your dad ‘touched your privates’ when mum was out, you blamed your mum for not being able to protect you from him, so you decided to turn into a man through a sex change operation so your dad wouldn’t wnat to touch you anymore.
Some people say that the eyes are the window to the soul
others say the hands
I personally say really bad insults are.
Oh this is brilliant , you say woman do not know maths, but f we use your flawed use of the average, here in the UK woman pass GCSE and A level maths much more than men do.
Oh that has just got to hurt ^^
What about the statistics of a child with both a male and a female parent?
So woman won’t be evil kineval?
Holy shit man! I mean like
that just proves right there and then that all men are greater than all women.
You put a motorcycle rider up on a pedestal like that?
I actually didn’t think that post was serious.
Men have pets too by the way, and I explained how the statistics are flawed, I mean. Lets say that some women can’t read and write as well as some men can, but the post also says that some men can’t read and write, and i’m pretty sure some women out there can read and write better than those illiterate men (and seeing as intelligence is one of your base theories of the ‘men better than woman’ claim) that must mean that some women are better than some men, completly destroying your absolutist claim. If your theorey is absoloutist, you must be pretty damn smart to be able to argue your point, and no one on this website can, this website is a dissapointment in that respect =/
Can you please cite the sources for these statictics? and link me?
and explain to me how the results were obtained?
I mean, I just destroyed your entire argument there and you couldn’t do anything about it.
Too essentialy edit your comment and put it back to you ‘Did you read the post I just made? How can you be so self obsessed and stupid- what in the fuck is wrong with you’
If you read it you would have had more sense than to post that comment, it would have saved you looking like an idiot
You: ‘This statistic proves that more woman are illiterate than men are!’
Me: ‘Yes, but the average is flawed, if you look at the averages, all women are smarter than all men and all men are violent rapists.’
You: ‘But Dick said in one of his comments that all women are thieving monsters that will break my heart =o and Dick doesnt lie ever!’
Me: ‘So Dick, is someone that has met every female on the planet and has calculated their personlity to see wether they would hurt your (and I mean specifically you) feelings?’
You: ‘Yes, because his first name is a slang term for penis and he has lots of funny little names for things like ‘Dick in your ear’ *hehehe*
Me: ‘ I think your impotent messiah has failed you.’
It’s sad i know, but sometimes your just going to have to admit:
It’s not your mothers fault you have downsyndrome =(
Now please argue back sensibly, with valid points, and nothing as rudimentary as: ‘Women are shit, end of’
If you are smart enough, and feel you have enough reason, for such an idiotic claim as this, please back it up with valid reasons, and if they are good reasons I will consider you a lonely geek who has nothing better to do than feverishly masterbate over pictures of Dick while eating a greasy burger, constantly blaming that your life is this shit because a girl broke up with you. You really need to man up.
Even if me and my sister were transexual girly girls, you just got your ass kicked by them, you must lose like, a million ‘man points’ for that, eh?
Oh, read the rest too. You’ll find the information. I just don’t spam up the forums like a whiny little bitch because I’m not a whiny, stupid little bitch. Your periods do not compensate for an inability to understand the concept of basic mathematics, honeybuns! Stick to what you were made for!
From the looks of things, T-bag is a stupid, lying cunt. Hey, way to stick up for all of those transsexual girly-girls and proclaim your maleness, bitch!
‘# 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census
# 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes
# 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (Source: Center for Disease Control)
# 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes (Source: Criminal Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26, 1978.)
# 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools.)
# 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes (Source: Rainbows for all Gods Children.)
# 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988)
# 85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections 1992)
This means that children from fatherless homes are:
* 5 times more likely to commit suicide
* 32 times more likely to run away
* 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
* 14 times more likely to commit rape
* 9 times more likely to drop out of high school
* 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances
* 9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution
* 20 times more likely to end up in prison. ‘
-http://www.fathermag.com/news/1780-stats.shtml
Uh, T-bag, Ray - we know you’re transsexual girly-girls.
Did you even look at the statistics I offered you? How can you be so self-obsessed and stupid - what in the fuck is wrong with you?
haha women outdo men? are you fucking kidding me? since the bigening of time men have dominated, why, because we outdid women in every aspect, so form the bigening of mankind men have always been superior at almost everything.
Symbolism is the applied use of symbols: iconic representations that carry particular conventional meanings.
not a single symbol was used in that post =) nice vocabulary.
At no point on that comment did I ever talk about the superitority of woman, so you essentialy just imagined that, along with my supposed want of a roaring ovation.
and also, the ejaculating eyeballs thing was a response to the idea of ‘Dick being able to impregnante girls with his eyes’ so you just essentialy ignored what I was replying too, hence why you like a fool whos mother was his sister.
…so you’re saying that if I adopted a child, and had a boyfriend, seeing as I am man it couldn’t possible be my own, that if my boyfriend raised it, he would do a better job? why? who is this future boyfriend of mine, why have I turned homosexual, why is he a better parent than me and how do you know this
the fact is:
you don’t
and I can safely assume that you think I am a girl, but i’m not unfortunatly, so all of your sexism is going to be slightly wasted on me, isn’t it?
and surely if you kew anything about parenting, you would know that a child raised by both parents, each of whon love it and wnat the best for it, is the least likly to end up in jail.
and you are ignoring so many factors it’s unbelivable. what is the child in jail for? He could have had a nervous breakdown after his mother, who he loved very much, died and he went on a shooting spree. GODDAM! but if a man raised it, and the child loved the father very much and had a mental breakdown of the same par, he definatly wouldn’t go on a shooting spree.
-.-
It doesnt depend on the gender of the parent, it depends on how good the parent is, and that comes down to individule personalitys. Yes you can have whorey female mothers who don’t give two shits about their child, but you can have men who are like that, you can have woman who are brilliant mothers and you can have men who are brilliant fathers. The fact is, it all comes down to the individual personalitys and character, not wether they have fallopian tubes or a penis.
Now what is your comeback to this ‘oh but these statistics say this, and these staistics say that’ but statistics are nearlyt always flawed, especially if using the average. On average women are smarter than men, but i’m smarter than most female of the girls in my school. Men on average are more likly to commit a violent crime, but most of the men I know have more sense than to do somthing like that.
Nobody is equal and no one race is greater than the other.
Your testicle eyed messiah and all of his impotent little followers filled with bitterness might now be able to see somthing:
Sense
Sorry. Did I hurt your feelings?
You dumb fucks are dense. Yes, it was a joke. I said it in reply to some slit saying she could beat dick up.
Geez. Fuck off.
It’s good to know someone on here can take a joke.
Firstly, I’m pretty sure it was meant as joke, and not to be taken seriously, just a way to point out that it’s a stupid statement to make.
And Sorry. I’m not American (thank god) and therefore don’t get whatever channel Dick was on.
Hilarious and obviously factual considering Dick’s own words.
Oh, but I can (ignore) and there is (something to back up our arguments).
Just the whole of civilization and everything you touch, feel, see and take for granted.
The whole “eyes” getting a woman pregnant is fantasy, just like her “beating dick up”. Of course, women have no reality check organ to keep them from believing stupid shit, like he won’t beat you again and it was just cybersex.
And I didn’t think up the eyeball/impregnation scenario. Dick did and it was aired on national television.
We aren’t here to argue though. We are here to watch idiots impale themselves on their politically correct poles.
Aw, thank you!
What a disturbing conclusion to jump to.
Wonder what that says about you…
Why do the men on here just insult people when they can’t think of a logical argument? It’s just like Detached, you can’t write off the many pissed of women that come onto this site when you have nothing to back up your arguments.
It makes you look stupid, immature and bitter, when actually, most of you can make sense when you put your mind to it.
*plays the theme from Deliverance on a banjo for you*
I think you’ll find it was Detached who mentioned impregnating women through use of Dick’s eyeballs.
T-Bag decided to point out what a strange and stupid comment that was. Actually, he didn’t even encourage female superiority, he just pointed out that it was an idiotic thing to say, and not something to be proud of. Seriously, impregnating someone with their eyeballs??
The reason I mentioned ‘gayness’ was because Doubt mentioned T-Bags ‘boyfriend’, but obviously you didn’t notice that. Therefore, if T-bag was to have a boyfriend, that would make it a gay couple.
And he’s not my lover.
He’s my brother.
But thanks for that ignorant, homophobic assumption.
No, it was definitely T-Bag who brought us that imagery through his strangely twisted interpretation of a comment by Detached.
My first impression from this is that you and he must be lovers, since gayness seems to be so obviously close to your minds. My second impression is that you’re an idiot, for the reason that your final statement makes little or no sense whatsoever. But ok, whatever floats your boat. There’s websites that cater the needs of you two elsewhere on the internet, go jerk off there instead. Spamming our boards with that shit is really quite repulsive.
First of all, the symbolism was awful.
And I think you’ll find it wasn’t T-Bag who brought up the ejaculating eyeballs, it was Detached.
And T-Bag is a guy.
So therefore his comment does not reflect a women’s opinion. Despite the fact that it is hilarious. And I never knew gay couples raised criminals.
Once again, the wonders of symbolism are lost on our little miss… T-bag. There she goes, on another one of her rants about deformities and the superiority of womyn.
I try to respect girls - I really do. I try to think of them as at least equal to me but then they go on talking about ejaculating eyeballs and calling their audience stupid when they do not get a roaring ovation.
T-bag - why is it that statistically a child raised by your boyfriend would be twice LESS likely to end up in jail than one you raised as a couple? Could you help me out on this one, pull up some census information mayhap? You can find mine right here: http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/forums/about3159.html