Drunk Man Driving

Men are more responsible than women when it comes to anything. Having unprotected sex for example; have you ever heard a woman ask the following:

Are you on the pill? Why the fuck not, you’re about to have sex?

No. First of all, women don’t think like that until it’s too late. That’s why they’re so vocal about men thinking only with their penises. It merely betrays the power of their own frantic sexual desires. That’s called hysteria and for every ten knocked up women on Earth hysteria caused nine of them.

Secondly, if there was a pill for men, every man in the world would eat them like Tic Tacs — the white Tic Tacs. Why the fuck not indeed.

Men are also more responsible than women at drunk driving.

If you think drunk driving is the 8th deadly sin or that drunk drivers should be thrown into pedophile prison for life then go ahead and fuck off my site. You’re obviously a woman and you’re thinking with your stupid female brain. That’s the problem. Go watch Oprah or use some finger paints and leave the speaking and thinking to men.

See, we men know about math and numbers. That’s why we don’t say that manner of stupid shit every time we open our mouths. Speaking of facts, let’s look at them:

Mothers Against Drunk Drivers is 100% is full of bitches.

Don’t think so? Here’s a piece of MADD’s organizational goals:

A mandatory provision in every separation agreement and divorce decree that prohibits either parent from drinking and driving…with minor children in the vehicle. Violating this provision should result in penalties such as license suspension, jail, and the termination of parental rights.

In other words, if you drive after having a snifter of brandy, MADD wants to take away your fucking children.

What the fuck is the matter with women? Why is the first step always either take away the kids or cut off the penis? Dealing with women is like playing pin the tail on the donkey with a blindfolded Nazi. They’re fucking crazy and always playing stupid kids’ games that have nothing to do with life.

Here’s another fact: of all fatal car crashes in 2004, twice as many intoxicated drivers were men.

Big fucking surprise.

That’s like saying a billion times as many deaths in war were men, or six times as many jock strap related injuries in 2005 happened to men.

When the fuck do women do anything that might get them into trouble or ruin their precious images of themselves as a little white washed princesses? Never.

‘I had no idea you were drunk when I got in the car!’

Yea the fuck right. And that’s a decision women make nearly sober, so who’s the real irresponsible jackass? It’s certainly not men — and that means it’s women.

Let’s also not forget men can drink about infinity more than women while remaining better drivers. If they ever pass that law forcing drunk drivers to use red license plates, I’m going to go around bolting them onto women’s bumpers as a public fucking service.

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