Happy Birthday. I Got You A ‘Settle the Fuck Down’.
Women are the only creatures on the planet dumb enough to think their birthday is an actual holiday. Birthdays are not holidays. Just like weddings, coffee, pets, and anniversaries that don’t end in and also are “0″; birthdays are not a big deal.
A woman once told me that I had to be nicer to her because it was her “birthday week.” Are you fucking kidding me?
Men are better than women at having birthdays. Men are so much better than women at birthdays that I don’t even know when my birthday is.
If the government required everyone to take a test before they could vote, question number two would be, “Is your birthday a holiday?”
“Like…it should be!”
Fail. Head down to TGI Fridays, you jokey bitch. Your meal ticket is on his third Jack and Coke.
Women suck at birthdays for the same reason they suck at everything in life. They’re annoying and full of shit.
Women are Annoying
I’m not talking about the kind of annoying I am when I go from a three-martini business lunch to an art gallery and sound like an insightful air raid siren. That’s called being mannoying and it’s awesome. It’s fueled by alcohol.
Women are annoying like a Swiss Army knife.
On a Swiss Army knife, every nook and cranny of the tool has a specific purpose that is designed to get the job done. On a woman, every single one of her behaviors is engineered to get as much attention as possible. Crying, obnoxious laughter, constant screw ups, make-up, boob jobs, date rape; they’re all unique female methods of accomplishing the same thing: pumping attention into their veins like it’s a vaccine for turning 24.
To a woman, a birthday is just another excuse to plant her fat, obnoxious foot in the unmarred schedule of your life and suck as much attention out of your wallet as she can.
Women are Full of Shit
No man has ever wanted to get inside a woman’s head, but if you ever do, follow this simple guide.
For an entire day, after every single thing you do, talk about how difficult it was but how you still managed to do it. If you got out of bed, take a moment to say, “That was hard, but I did it. Good for me!” After you brush your teeth say, “That was hard, but I did it. Good for me!” When you have a birthday say, “That was a hard year, but I did it. Good for fucking me!”
Women don’t have accomplishments. They just have after parties. Coffee breaks, birthdays, a new outfit for the gym to celebrate her second week of working out!
Women are so busy patting themselves on the back, they don’t have time to be useful.
Question number one would be, “How big is your penis?”
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April 30th, 2008 at 6:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8217966eacde5
Notin’, my dear. Just sitting back with a beer and watching Commissar Scott and , er, her, bitch-slap each other. Yea I know, pretty pathetic. Better crack open another, put some Cold Play on the stereo….
April 30th, 2008 at 6:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8217966eacde5
@Copstash- If you don’t know, click on the “Comments (RSS)” under Meta and watch the fights scroll before your very eyes….
April 30th, 2008 at 6:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: 984d2faf2ac07
OK, I’ll do that.
April 30th, 2008 at 6:30 pm - IP Man-Hash: 984d2faf2ac07
Ahhh, same old same old
Here’s my summary:
Anglo Saxon, fuck, Hitler, cheeseburgers, yankee, …………………oh yeah, lets not forget cunt.
April 30th, 2008 at 6:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8217966eacde5
Yup. Its pretty clear that Commander was not been raised in the US for two reasons: 1.) he says the words “bloody” and “arse” and 2.) hes not a very creative insulter. No wonder the US gets most of the Nobel Prizes these’s days.
April 30th, 2008 at 6:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: 984d2faf2ac07
Nice talkn’, but I gotta go. Try to get back to you later
April 30th, 2008 at 7:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3244d0d3a9215
is it just me, or i really want to beat the crap of both the mother; for raising a spoiled brat who will be a slutty whore that doesnt give crap to the society; and the spoiled slut…or maybe if Mr. T. does it, it would be a lot better.
April 30th, 2008 at 8:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: 666508dec08b7
Good observation there, kiddo. But I think he skipped cheeseburgers this time.
Bummer.
April 30th, 2008 at 8:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: c582593fbcdab
Who the fuck cares if Michael Stipes is a homosexual? What do muslims have to do with this? The point of this article is how spoiled and unappreciative and stupid women are and Dick showed a video of a lady-in-the-making. Is “no manhole” a woman adding useless shit dribble to an article with incredible implications? He must be, and to prove it he got into a scuffle with another woman “cop stash”. “No manhole” and “Cop stash” should go to the fucking nazi racist feminist websites they are used to frequenting. We don’t need your biggotry here ladies.
April 30th, 2008 at 8:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: d95284a9106fb
That’s because they are boys. No one gives a shit if parents beat up boys. However, I’m sure that if you had daughters you’d pamper and spoil the little bitches to death, and you’d let them have whatever parties they want
P Coderch.
May 1st, 2008 at 5:42 am - IP Man-Hash: 83a63482c144a
Did you read the first part of my post? I was saying the mother should have punished that girl.
I GIVE A SHIT if parents beat up their little boys. I love my sons, I would DIE for them and do whatever it took to make their lives easier.
They are my main reasons for coming onto MABTW. They are too little to voice their opinions….so I will do it for them.
Make no mistake, if I had a daughter I would NOT spoil and pamper her. I would teach her to respect others and herself.
May 1st, 2008 at 7:25 am - IP Man-Hash: 21b6ef3e0a30a
KEB NO! STAY AWAY FROM P CODERCH!
May 1st, 2008 at 7:31 am - IP Man-Hash: 83a63482c144a
Will do Clair….the whole “don’t give a shit about boys” upset me. I love my boys more than my very own life.
May 1st, 2008 at 8:58 am - IP Man-Hash: 666508dec08b7
I think where most parents are dropping the ball these days is that they don’t discipline their kids when they’re young. If a toddler does something naughty, at first it’s “cute” or “funny,” then when they get older and set in their ways, then it becomes too much effort to discipline. The kid just keeps getting worse and worse.
Not talking anything crazy here, but a few minutes in the “naughty corner” can do wonders, applied consistently and fairly.
May 1st, 2008 at 9:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 8aaa53a9a008d
I agree Lynn. With my two older boys (7, 6) I take away privileges.
You HAVE to stay consistent or it never will work.
When I say you are grounded then they know I mean business. Of course they are not perfect and they do test me from time to time, but for the most part they are good boys.
With my little one ( he’s three) we usually put him to bed when he starts to pitch a fit. The key is consistency.
May 1st, 2008 at 1:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: 984d2faf2ac07
Yes, that article has really incredible implications. So sorry to insult this article that you found so ground breaking and pivitol………. What the hell are you talking about anyway? A fifteen year old girl screaming because she didn’t like her car, oh yeah, all of us can relate to that and now become better, more adjusted people as a result. How does something so stupid and pointless evolve into racism, nazi’s and biggotry? Please explain, let me know how I, and no manhole, are nazis, feminists, racists, and biggots - in no particular order. Please explain.
May 1st, 2008 at 2:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: 984d2faf2ac07
Nobody cares if littles boys are beaten, is this guy living on earth?
Last I checked, child abusers get hit pretty hard, reguardless of the sex of the child. I personaly have never heard of a judge saying “Oh you visciously beat and raped a little boy, ………well thats just fine! Shoo, that good thing it wasn’t a girl or you would hurt’n.” Do you actualy have some kind of basis for that remark?
May 1st, 2008 at 2:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5f3a30b88dc6
My god you are a fuckin’ dope. My concern with the video is that it publicizes an image of the United States to the rest of the world that reinforces the stereotype that our enemies (Islamic and otherwise) have of us: that all Americans are a bunch of decadent, materialistic spoiled brats. This is of course false, and I believe the US has a terrible image problem. I think I have the right to make that point. All you did in your post is criticize the poster, blister-hand Luke idiot.
May 1st, 2008 at 2:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4144e596343d7
Google Pretty White Girl Syndrome. Far more media/Police time is expended on a crime victim if they are:
1. Female
2. White
3. Young
4. Attractive
5. Sexually innocent.
Why should I pay tax to the Police if they only bother about my enemies (young Anglo-American women)? I think the Police should only get tax funding from women if they only protect women.
May 6th, 2008 at 7:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: ae7411819c740
Have you been out of the U.S. before? For the most part, other countries don’t have a problem with the American people, they have a negative view of the American government. All of that [everyone thinks Americans are fat and stupid] is media driven crap. Sure, they think that too, but that is not why enemies want to kill us. What the fuck go learn about your government and what they’ve been doing. Foreigners think American individuals are as nice and polite and charitable as can be, and its true. I don’t care if you’re a man or a woman, that was a fucking dumb statement. We are not viewed as materialistic, per se, but as a very individualistic people. That focus on the ’self’ may be synonymous with materialism, though, in some cases. Regardless, go get some stamps on your passport before you begin spewing boring political rhetoric.
By the way, the video has been removed so I haven’t watched it, thus I have nothing to say in reference to it or your opinion about it. I was just bothered by your blatant ignorance of reality. Its not completely your fault; you are just a woman, after all.
{Calm down; just a joke. You’re probably a dude, anyway. But if you’re an American, it wouldn’t really make a difference.}
Take care