Fat Women: Stop Emailing Me
If there’s one thing I know about women it’s that whatever any one of them is doing, it can be done better by a man — and also they’re all crazy and they all want babies and they all want to get married and they all want to have everything done for them for free and they all want to fuck their fathers and every decision that they make in their lives is based on how jealous they are that they don’t have a penis and they all wear way too much perfume and they never listen to anything before they open their mouths with a response and they all need to lose 10 pounds and they never actually mean “thank you” or “I’m sorry” when they say it — what they really mean is “it’s about time” and “you should be glad I’m still letting you fuck me” — and they all love to be treated like shit because that’s what they are.
And when they get on the internet, they go from a size 8 to a size Invisible.
In other words: fat women, quit fucking emailing me. I can tell you’re fat and your fatness makes me sick.
Here’s a sample conversation between myself and a girl who is so desperate for Dick that she can’t even spell properly. Or maybe she was desperate for a three o’clock fixin of Funyuns. I can’t be sure, but rest assured this exchange is typical for dozens of other little fat girls who need to stop sending me emails every day.
Note: This entire exchange was done in seven minutes via a Blackberry.
Men are NOT immune to eating disorders. If you honestly think they are I suggest you visit your local psychiatric ward and have a look for yourself.
Blair
Only a fat girl would know that much about eating disorders. To a woman, a loose familiarity with a subject is tantamount to being a Rainman-caliber expert. I suspected that she was 300 pounds at least.
Dealing with fat women over the internet is analogous to dealing with them in real life. Who gives a shit about fat girls?
I suggest you visit a salad bar because you are too fat.
-Dick
That’s hilarious! You do not know me at all or what I look like and yet you say I’m fat? Well, you must be an overweight, acne faced, isolated, computer geek who should consider suicide to benefit society. You are the reason why many 1st world countries still encounter tall poppy syndrome and the glass ceiling effect in modern work places.
You disgust me.
Maybe you should come to my next feminist meeting? I’m sure you’ll fit right in.
Blair
I’m sure I would fit right in — their vaginas.
-Dick
But if you hate women so much wouldn’t you feel much more at home being inside the males you love? Keep making an arse of yourself, you’re only reiterating my points further.
Blair
When a woman calls you gay, she is challenging your sexuality for the purposes of usurping it for herself. She has become so hysterical with lust and overpowered by your massively masculine logic that she is as ripe for plucking as a big fat cherry that no one asked to their senior prom.
Got a pic?
-Dick
You cannot tell me that this heated debate wouldn’t affect your opinion of me whatsoever. What makes you think males are better than females? Why are men immune to low self esteem? I’m intrigued.
Blair
And at this point, I give absolutely no fuck. I also give the little piggy no response. But just like the little pig that she is, she can’t stop from throwing herself at the attention trough.
You hate women and yet you objectify them. You are incredibly intelligent. Now whose a constant contradiction?
Again, Fat Alberta will get no response from yours truly. In all cases, this is how women should be dealt with. If you’re not getting exactly what you want to the letter and with the excitement you so desire, stop dealing with them. The only “explanation” anyone ever owed anyone was whether or not Harrison Ford was a robot in Blade Runner — and what the fuck happened to Tony Soprano? Did he get shot or what? And no one ever got that explanation.
You don’t owe any gold-brick woman anything when you decide to drop her off of a gold pier; least of all an “explanation”.
Five minutes later, I received this.
Here’s your picture.
Blair
She also included a link to her MySpace page, which I will not include to protect your appetite.
Moo.
-Dick
And thus concludes today’s lesson on how to deal with women. They don’t think like men. They don’t have feelings. Women are just broken vending machines. Hit the right buttons at the right time and you get whatever you want. Unfortunately, none of its any good and at best, it’s past its expiration date by seven years.
Just so you’re aware, your comments, opinions and views are nothing to me.
You need to be hospitalized.
If calling people fat and encouraging them to engage in eating disordered behaviours are the only insults you behold, perhaps you should go back to primary school? It’s displaying your mental capacity when you degrade people in such an immature way.
Blair
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April 26th, 2008 at 6:12 am - IP Man-Hash: 4710a815dd96c
Why are you here?
April 26th, 2008 at 6:17 am - IP Man-Hash: 7f4aa80b49460
Because, I actually think Dick is a smart guy, but I don’t take any of his stuff real seriously…it just makes for good discussion.
April 26th, 2008 at 6:18 am - IP Man-Hash: 7f4aa80b49460
Because, I actually think Dick is a smart guy, but I don’t take any of his stuff real seriously…it just makes for good discussion.
Because, I actually think Dick is a smart guy, but I don’t take any of his stuff real seriously…it just makes for good discussion.
April 26th, 2008 at 6:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 7f4aa80b49460
Wow I fucked that post up….guess I am a stupid woman…lol
April 26th, 2008 at 6:27 am - IP Man-Hash: 4710a815dd96c
Cool, the ability to look at multiple viewpoints rationally, especially ones you find inherently distasteful, is extremely manly. All you have to do now is go find a specific point and refute it, except you can’t, because all of the points made on this website are flawless, more than 14 carats, bulletproof, and immune to Nature attacks. Ready go.
April 26th, 2008 at 6:33 am - IP Man-Hash: 7f4aa80b49460
Why refute? I think I’m a little outnumbered for that….though if I find the time, I’ll get back to you on that ;) Sounds like a good challenge ;)
April 26th, 2008 at 7:29 am - IP Man-Hash: 55c9b883a87de
Perhaps you don’t know what fat is…
The lady in that picture is certainly not fat. If you want to see what fat is search on google pictures “Fat lady eating cake”. That is what fat is. And to answer any further questions I’m sure you will have to this:
-No, that is not me.
-The reason I know about that picture on google is because a friend told me.
-And no, I’m not fat, so let’s not go assuming that.
And just because someone knows about eating disorders doesn’t mean they are fat. Are doctors fat? Maybe some, but there are plenty of thin doctors who know about eating disorders. You’re a sick man, and I agree with Blair, you need some serious help, perhaps you should be hospitalized.
April 26th, 2008 at 7:30 am - IP Man-Hash: 55c9b883a87de
Perhaps you don’t know what fat is…
The lady in that picture is certainly not fat. If you want to see what fat is search on google pictures “Fat lady eating cake”. That is what fat is. And to answer any further questions I’m sure you will have to this:
-No, that is not me.
-The reason I know about that picture on google is because a friend told me.
-And no, I’m not fat, so let’s not go assuming that.
And just because someone knows about eating disorders doesn’t mean they are fat. Are doctors fat? Maybe some, but there are plenty of thin doctors who know about eating disorders. You’re a sick man, and I agree with Blair, you need some serious help, perhaps you should be hospitalized.
Now please, grow a brain and stop flaunting your ignorance.
April 26th, 2008 at 7:38 am - IP Man-Hash: 4710a815dd96c
As compared to the brilliance it took to double post that useless heap of fail.
You’re right, there are doctors who know about eating disorders who aren’t fat. It’s because they’re male, and therefore intelligent. They also understand how to leave a comment, unlike you.
April 28th, 2008 at 12:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: 255b5632d5aa7
“Moo.” hahahaha.
Hey whats up bitches? I really can’t read any of your posts because I just keep hearing a stampede of cowbell-wearing cows. If you shrink down to normal size you can get rid of them bells, you know? Just cut your caloric intake, heavily, and puke alot if you accidentally eat too much. Ugly bitches who claim that they don’t hate themself, or post on this website, might be the most delusional.
May 3rd, 2008 at 3:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: 74e56a790443a
“— and they all love to be treated like shit because that’s what they are.”
The very words I have preached my whole life.
May 7th, 2008 at 7:02 am - IP Man-Hash: fbcde0e44355a
I found this site today (I am female) because I have been victim to FAT BITCH BULLYING in my workplace of late and needed to look it up and vent. I have experienced this quite a few (many) times, however, though it makes me feel better reading this whilst returning home from their PIGPEN leaving ‘me’ feel worthless?
I am attractive, thin, blonde etc. ALL YOUR WORDS ARE JUST AND TRUE…. Fat Bitches are afraid of attractive women also! They feel bad about themselves when they are near an attractive women, they start rumors, talk behind their backs and the most discerning of all - they brand an attractive woman a “slut” for no reason and without grounds!! Cluck, Cluck, Cluck And I don’t show any cleavage like they all do !! (how do they sleep at night? mmm maybe another piece of cake?)
I DON’T LIKE FAT WOMEN EITHER !!!! Hence why all my many girlfriends are attractive!!! We don’t put up with this insecure pathetic nonsense of the FAT OVER BEARING LOUD MOUTH Negative Nancy WOMEN !!!! Booo Hoo fat women ! Stop eating, that may help you !
May 13th, 2008 at 11:52 am - IP Man-Hash: 29321366ad1c0
All of you people are absolutley rediculous. Clearly this man or woman does this for attention, to get reactions out of you sheep. As for you Julia, I know plenty of fat women who don’t hate on “attractive” women like yourself, because to others they too are attractive. You would think as a FEMALE you would defend other females, just goes to show you how Dick’s website is working for people to not only hate on females, but fat females as well. God mades us all different, and there is no way in hell I would conform to society’s standards, because I am confident in the way the good lord made me, and I happy with myself. As should all of you. Love yourself, before anyone else can love you, and remember fat chicks, keep your head up, cuz there are an EXTREME abundance of men who like fat women.
May 13th, 2008 at 12:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: 53e574218351c
I have buddies who really treat their wives ‘badly’ as in they are totally dominating and controlling of them…..a few I commented to on this basically said “you do it your way and I will do it mine”…
Now those same buddies are laughing at me with where all my ‘generosity’ with my wife got me…which is nowhere……yep…they were right “treat them mean and keep them keen”…
And then when they get old and ugly just kick their arse out of there and use the money you managed to skim and put into a bank in switzerland that no-one knows about to flash some cash and pick up a hot 25 year old that you can lie to about wanting to get married to some day……
Now THAT is a plan for any man who was already stupid enough to get married before he reads this post.
After all, who the hell wants to be in a bed with a 55+ menopausal, fat, old woman when you can be in bed with a hot, sexy, 25 year old woman who is willing to do anything and everything because she thinks she is going to get money from you…..
Wish I had decided to do the above years ago….so guys who already got married….this is really, really good advice for you!!
May 13th, 2008 at 12:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0b803370e197a
Anyone else find it ironic she’s calling us sheep while trying to enforce her herd mentality? I think we can all agree on one thing:
May 13th, 2008 at 2:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: 29321366ad1c0
NEXT: You are sheep, when you conform to the standards of beauty set forth by this coutry’s standards. Now it’s one thing to be attracted to whatever you want, that’s you’re right, but when you’re mean about it, it’s mean. Watch what you do and what you say, cuz KARMA’S a bitch.
May 13th, 2008 at 2:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: 29321366ad1c0
On that note, I’m not going to waste my time arguing with you people. I feel sorry for individuals like yourselves, who talk negatively about others to make yourselves feel good. I hope and pray that you find something else better to do than to blog about others ‘ physicalities. Have a good one. And God forbid if you ever end up with a sweet, kind hearted, fat woman (oh how the world would end, as I roll my eyes).
May 13th, 2008 at 2:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: e9ba7855085f4
Girl, you just told a woman to defend other women just because they are a woman. After that the sheep insult loses it’s validity in the face of your blatant use of herd mentality. Now shut up, you’re making fat women look bad and the ones I know wouldn’t want a bitch like you defending them.
May 13th, 2008 at 2:41 pm - IP Man-Hash: 35ab21bf6af5e
Is there such a thing? These are the most explosive firecrackers that will take your hand off. They blame society for everything, especially their so-called eating disorders. I mean, who the fuck is force feeding you to eat more calories than you burn. Open a science book and find that out. But then again, the only books women open are books on waiting for Prince Charming to come rescue them and give them a life them don’t fucking deserve.
May 13th, 2008 at 2:58 pm - IP Man-Hash: e9ba7855085f4
According to this one GAWD MADE ME FAT BOOHOO. Sheesh, being fat is one thing but to blame it on god or having big bones is nothing short of denial. Come on if god wanted you to be fat adamn and eve would have fat coming out of their ears. In fact he/it looks down upon that as sloth.