Win $50 During Female Literacy Month
I get countless emails and comments from irate women bemoaning my spelling and grammar. What the fuck do irate women know about spelling and grammar? Compared to other genders, female literacy rates are appallingly low. That’s why I’m taking it upon myself to declare June “Female Literacy Month�? and offer the following incentive for women to improve their abysmal spellsmanship.
As of July 1st 12 noon, the woman who finds the most spelling mistakes on this website, made by yours truly, will be given her choice of $50 or I will purchase a video game for a starving child. I’ll leave the choice up to her, so I think we all know which she’s going to pick.
Women are so fucking selfish.
Maybe female illiteracy is why women can’t figure out how to use birth control. To women, “Take one pill every day,” looks like, “Take a handful of pills every few days and believe in Jesus.” Well Jesus isn’t a big fan of birth control so fuck you. If women could read The Bible, they would know that.
I haven’t made a single spelling error on this site. Manjoyment, mantivities, and mangasm aren’t misspelled words. If I see them in a submission, it is automantically disqualified. There are also more rules.
Female Literacy Month Rules
1. All submissions must be emailed to me no later than July 1st, noon GMT.
2. All words must be accompanied by the URL on which they appear.
3. In case of a tie, the earliest submission is the winner.
4. Lists with correctly spelled words will be disqualified.
5. Italicized words and words with “man�? in them are not misspelled and will be disqualified.
6. Since women don’t know how to use dictionaries, a man is allowed to verify the misspelled words, but not help find them.
7. All participants must be under 190 pounds for liability purposes. I don’t want to get any of you fatties so excited your hearts explode.
8. The choice of a selfish $50 or a video game for a starving child must be clearly marked in the submission.
9. The video game might be Gears of War, but it also might be Nintendogs.
Like when it comes to fighting for peace in the Middle East or apologizing for spilling my beer all over my pants last weekend, I expect women to be a no show on this one.
UNESCO statistics on women and their rampant illiteracy.
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@Doubt: You encourage people to believe (on your site) that no person is better than another, and here espouse the opposite view, based solely on gender. What is your true belief?
Perhaps you’d forgotten the question, as it remains unanswered.
@Banzai, a belated welcome to the site. Thanks for your kind words.
@Doubt No worries. I find girl annoying as well, but I recognize what she’s doing and why — see below. And SomethingAwful (where those smiles are hosted) is a great site. I especially like their pranks and TruthMedia reviews. Man Kudos for linking them.
Gentlemen, girl provides us with an excellent example.
A little background. One of the earliest researchers (Erin Pizzey) into domestic violence discovered something rather surprising(*). A great many women deliberately act in a highly self-destructive fashion and repeatedly attempt to provoke violence, frequently instigating it.
And remember, this was in the days before DV had any consequences for the male, other than the possible opprobrium of his peers.
Why would women do this?
Nowadays, sure, she can get endless sympathy, attention from the courts, and harm her husband and family. All of these are mana to many women.
Yet back then? Maybe a little sympathy from other women, but surely contempt from anyone rational.
Fortunately, we don’t need to concern ourselves with why many women are crazy and self-destructive anymore than we need to understand string theory in order to brew a cup of tea.
However, we should be aware of such behavior in many women, and avoid feeding their hunger for abuse wherever possible.
girl is clearly a prima faciae(**) example of one such.
We do not need to know why she seeks out abuse — perhaps a lack of attention in her life; perhaps she’s fat and insecure and feels she deserves abuse; perhaps she simply wants to be validated by being made to feel angry.
We simply need to know it’s how she operates, and avoid feeding her.
Starved of attention, she will vanish, and stop blocking the break-down lane of our lives.
-wolfe
(*) Rather surprising to women, but of no surprise to men.
(**) For women like girl reading, that means ‘obvious’ or ‘compelling’.
Mmm the threat of ‘a bashing’ leaves me trembling in my boots.
Do;t deal out what you can’t hack honey!
Wolfe,
In the words of my generation,
RIGHT ON!!!
You’re the man!
-Banzai
Sweet! I love that quote.
Here are the mabtw smilies! They got re-routed to singapore! But I found them…
http://i.somethingawful.com/m3imgs/the_kins-01.gif
At least with crazy people. I have a big thing with crazy people with-no-reason-to-act-crazy trying to intimidate and control other people, let alone me.
Sorry, I tend to re-act in cue. It’s just my nature, albiet I see what you mean.
@Doubt, you’re a man, so you’re obviously better than women, but … I hate to say it, reading that reading that “about” page featuring the dialog between you and fsf almost made me want to talk about my feelings.
So that my brain would self destruct.
Why talk about rape or bashing so much? Threatening to use/abuse power is something that feminists do.
The women who post here are often crude and stupid (girl and her little ‘bumboy’ remarks is certainly an excellent example). Why join them? We’re better.
Men live a life of style and panache at 100 mph whereas women struggle with first gear. Join us in the fast lane and eschew the crude and ignorant remarks of girl and her powderpuff set.
-wolfe
I think you are in need of a bit of a bashing. You know, something to knock you stuck-up snot-nosed slutty prudes down a peg or two.
Ohhh dear he thinks he’s clever. Witty witty. I think he is need of a bit of ego bashing.
Wow, it’s like all little girls have an honorary case of autism!
We really need to kill this double-standard/
I think by the no “person” bit, he was referring to males, males only.
@Doubt: You encourage people to believe (on your site) that no person is better than another, and here espouse the opposite view, based solely on gender. What is your true belief?
Good point. Women don’t have a clue.
-Dick
We all know that, as Dave Berry explains, if given a choice between saving a baby’s life and catching a fly ball, a woman will save the baby without ever considering if there are runners on base.
You are an unstable member of society, bumboy.
I liked the girlygirlandproudofit joke. That girl really needs to get raped.
Thank God for halter tops!
Oh, no. No no no. Anyone can ask me anything I want. The question is, what do I get out of it?
A satisfied whore? No thanks.
Female:
Why is it that women always resort to threats?
Because they work.
^ More like because you have a lack of balls and have to find ways to intimidate? Nice shit bringing your husband into the picture. Wow, that was sooo womanly. You finally realized that Man is better than woman huh?