Win $50 During Female Literacy Month
I get countless emails and comments from irate women bemoaning my spelling and grammar. What the fuck do irate women know about spelling and grammar? Compared to other genders, female literacy rates are appallingly low. That’s why I’m taking it upon myself to declare June “Female Literacy Month�? and offer the following incentive for women to improve their abysmal spellsmanship.
As of July 1st 12 noon, the woman who finds the most spelling mistakes on this website, made by yours truly, will be given her choice of $50 or I will purchase a video game for a starving child. I’ll leave the choice up to her, so I think we all know which she’s going to pick.
Women are so fucking selfish.
Maybe female illiteracy is why women can’t figure out how to use birth control. To women, “Take one pill every day,” looks like, “Take a handful of pills every few days and believe in Jesus.” Well Jesus isn’t a big fan of birth control so fuck you. If women could read The Bible, they would know that.
I haven’t made a single spelling error on this site. Manjoyment, mantivities, and mangasm aren’t misspelled words. If I see them in a submission, it is automantically disqualified. There are also more rules.
Female Literacy Month Rules
1. All submissions must be emailed to me no later than July 1st, noon GMT.
2. All words must be accompanied by the URL on which they appear.
3. In case of a tie, the earliest submission is the winner.
4. Lists with correctly spelled words will be disqualified.
5. Italicized words and words with “man�? in them are not misspelled and will be disqualified.
6. Since women don’t know how to use dictionaries, a man is allowed to verify the misspelled words, but not help find them.
7. All participants must be under 190 pounds for liability purposes. I don’t want to get any of you fatties so excited your hearts explode.
8. The choice of a selfish $50 or a video game for a starving child must be clearly marked in the submission.
9. The video game might be Gears of War, but it also might be Nintendogs.
Like when it comes to fighting for peace in the Middle East or apologizing for spilling my beer all over my pants last weekend, I expect women to be a no show on this one.
UNESCO statistics on women and their rampant illiteracy.
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May 31st, 2007 at 1:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8db8c496818f2
Hey Dick I expect your right. Just give the kid the game. No point in waiting around for something thats not going to happen.
May 31st, 2007 at 3:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3244816c4b03
I’m the starving child
May 31st, 2007 at 6:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5be6a3201772c
What a cheapskate.
Women are not going to be helping you with proofing your posts for a lousy $50, just so you don’t have to pay someone more than that before you send off your copy to wepublishanything.com and make another overpriced book, which btw is made with low grade, budget, paper. Think of recycled toilet paper and that is what it is like. If you were a decent man to begin with, you would send a starving child $50 without having to predicate it on whether somebody does budget proofreading for you. I think this is exploitation, if I find out a child under the age of 14 and 9 months, goes through this website with a finetooth comb, spending hours, just to try and get $50 from you, then I am calling the Child Exploitation division at UNESCO.
Also, I have seen pleeeenty of errors in your posts. Occasional spelling errors, but more often than not, duplicated or missing words, which means you make even less sense than usual.
May 31st, 2007 at 6:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 04de1e4af36c0
If we do the proofreading but choose not to vie for the prize, can we post as a comment vs email? That would prove as well, Dick, that you’ll stand by your assertion that there are no spelling errors in your previous posts.
Will you man-swear you didn’t fire up spell check and make corrections prior to posting the contest rules? If I don’t find the errors I’ve noted before, I’ll know the truth.
And if I find the errors and you post an acknowledgment that I am right, I’ll send $100 to UNICEF.
~Dr. Z~
p.s. if you think an error will escape my notice, ask wolfe what he thinks.
May 31st, 2007 at 7:41 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4046784d41bcb
Damn, you broads are fucking stupid. The point just floats over that water-head of yours, doesn’t it?
May 31st, 2007 at 7:48 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4046784d41bcb
p.s. if you think an error will escape my notice, ask wolfe what he thinks.
Correction:
P.S. If you think an error will escape my notice, ask Wolfe what he thinks.
(Artistically horrid. Absolutely ghastly, but then again, what could you expect from a broken brain?)
May 31st, 2007 at 9:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: e36376410e1aa
What the fuck is UNICEF? Some kind of cupcake awareness fund?
-Dick
May 31st, 2007 at 9:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 04de1e4af36c0
@Doubt: Out of respect for wolfe, I used the non-capitalized version of his nom de plume, as he does on his website and on this site. I’ve no need to compete with you, Doubt. You’ve made your opinions crystal clear throughout the site. I bow to your superiority. Now off to another thread where you can enlighten someone else with your towering logic and sophistication. This thread is addressed to illiterate, weak-brained females.
May 31st, 2007 at 9:41 pm - IP Man-Hash: 879c8ea331a4b
Are you trying to smack-talk me? Bitch, don’t you give me lip.
May 31st, 2007 at 9:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: 04de1e4af36c0
@Doubt: I already bowed to your superiority. Get over it.
@DM: It’s the United Nations International Children’s Emergency Fund. People around the world with a charitable concern for children are familiar with this organization, as it was established >60 years ago.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unicef
May 31st, 2007 at 9:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3e4fe6a7e6d7d
yea that’s right, that’s who I will be calling, not the other one.
May 31st, 2007 at 10:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 879c8ea331a4b
Attagirl.
May 31st, 2007 at 10:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8db8c496818f2
Hey Female.
Since your not a man I would suggest reading anything posted by Dick four or five times since you dont seem to understand the message
Then after your done that get a man to read it and sit you down and explain it to you.
Then when you think your ready to make an intelligent post…
FUCK OFF NO WOMEN ALLOWED.
May 31st, 2007 at 10:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: b5145ad6de597
Not so, Dick. That is in the entire world. In the Western world far more women are educated at secondary and third level; i.e. 60-70% of students in Universities are women.
In the USA about 1,000,000 less boys finish do the SAT every year. Thus, as a direct consequence, there are not only more literate women, but alot more well-educated women who will take the top jobs in the future.
Let’s not perpetuate an UN myth that helps to advance sympathy for women worldwide and thus allows our Government to divert funds into improving “girls in education” when it’s “boys in education” that’s in need of attention.
May 31st, 2007 at 11:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3e4fe6a7e6d7d
I agree with anonymous, more funds must be allocated to literacy lessons for boys. He also requires funding to teach proper respect for women. Maybe I should set up Females International School of Deportment for Young Men, where swashbuckling young gentlemen could learn things such as respect for women and walking around with a book on their head (if it became obvious that they simply were unable to read said item).
See the FAMQ tofscromo, women are welcome to post here. Have a nice day.
May 31st, 2007 at 11:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3e4fe6a7e6d7d
If you have not made one spelling error, how do you explain having spelt ‘accurate’ as ‘acurate’ in the FAMQ?
Please donate the $50 to NOW on my behalf.
May 31st, 2007 at 11:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9342b2aa308e5
Maybe you could get Germaine Greer to pay for the scholarship fund.
May 31st, 2007 at 11:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3e4fe6a7e6d7d
Sounds like a plan.