Rebecca Walker on Feminism, Motherhood, and Alice Walker

http://www.eisaulen.com/blog/
*****

How my mother’s fanatical views tore us apart
By Rebecca WalkerLast updated at 1:18 PM on 23rd May 2008

She’s revered as a trail-blazing feminist and author Alice Walker touched the lives of a generation of women. A champion of women’s rights, she has always argued that motherhood is a form of servitude. But one woman didn’t buy in to Alice’s beliefs - her daughter, Rebecca, 38.

Here the writer describes what it was like to grow up as the daughter of a cultural icon, and why she feels so blessed to be the sort of woman 64-year-old Alice despises - a mother.

The other day I was vacuuming when my son came bounding into the room. ‘Mummy, Mummy, let me help,’ he cried. His little hands were grabbing me around the knees and his huge brown eyes were looking up at me. I was overwhelmed by a huge surge of happiness.

I love the way his head nestles in the crook of my neck. I love the way his face falls into a mask of eager concentration when I help him learn the alphabet. But most of all, I simply love hearing his little voice calling: ‘Mummy, Mummy.’

It reminds me of just how blessed I am. The truth is that I very nearly missed out on becoming a mother - thanks to being brought up by a rabid feminist who thought motherhood was about the worst thing that could happen to a woman.

You see, my mum taught me that children enslave women.

I grew up believing that children are millstones around your neck, and the idea that motherhood can make you blissfully happy is a complete fairytale.

In fact, having a child has been the most rewarding experience of my life. Far from ‘enslaving’ me, three-and-a-half-year-old Tenzin has opened my world. My only regret is that I discovered the joys of motherhood so late - I have been trying for a second child for two years, but so far with no luck.

I was raised to believe that women need men like a fish needs a bicycle. But I strongly feel children need two parents and the thought of raising Tenzin without my partner, Glen, 52, would be terrifying.

As the child of divorced parents, I know only too well the painful consequences of being brought up in those circumstances.

Feminism has much to answer for denigrating men and encouraging women to seek independence whatever the cost to their families.

My mother’s feminist principles coloured every aspect of my life. As a little girl, I wasn’t even allowed to play with dolls or stuffed toys in case they brought out a maternal instinct. It was drummed into me that being a mother, raising children and running a home were a form of slavery. Having a career, travelling the world and being independent were what really mattered according to her.

I love my mother very much, but I haven’t seen her or spoken to her since I became pregnant. She has never seen my son - her only grandchild. My crime? Daring to question her ideology.

Well, so be it. My mother may be revered by women around the world - goodness knows, many even have shrines to her. But I honestly believe it’s time to puncture the myth and to reveal what life was really like to grow up as a child of the feminist revolution.

My parents met and fell in love in Mississippi during the civil rights movement. Dad [Mel Leventhal], was the brilliant lawyer son of a Jewish family who had fled the Holocaust. Mum was the impoverished eighth child of sharecroppers from Georgia. When they married in 1967, inter-racial weddings were still illegal in some states.

My early childhood was very happy although my parents were terribly busy, encouraging me to grow up fast. I was only one when I was sent off to nursery school. I’m told they even made me walk down the street to the school.

When I was eight, my parents divorced. From then on I was shuttled between two worlds - my father’s very conservative, traditional, wealthy, white suburban community in New York, and my mother’s avant garde multi-racial community in California. I spent two years with each parent - a bizarre way of doing things.

Ironically, my mother regards herself as a hugely maternal woman. Believing that women are suppressed, she has campaigned for their rights around the world and set up organisations to aid women abandoned in Africa - offering herself up as a mother figure.

But, while she has taken care of daughters all over the world and is hugely revered for her public work and service, my childhood tells a very different story. I came very low down in her priorities - after work, political integrity, self-fulfillment, friendships, spiritual life, fame and travel.

My mother would always do what she wanted - for example taking off to Greece for two months in the summer, leaving me with relatives when I was a teenager. Is that independent, or just plain selfish?

I was 16 when I found a now-famous poem she wrote comparing me to various calamities that struck and impeded the lives of other women writers. Virginia Woolf was mentally ill and the Brontes died prematurely. My mother had me - a ‘delightful distraction’, but a calamity nevertheless. I found that a huge shock and very upsetting.

According to the strident feminist ideology of the Seventies, women were sisters first, and my mother chose to see me as a sister rather than a daughter. From the age of 13, I spent days at a time alone while my mother retreated to her writing studio - some 100 miles away. I was left with money to buy my own meals and lived on a diet of fast food.

Sisters together
A neighbour, not much older than me, was deputised to look after me. I never complained. I saw it as my job to protect my mother and never distract her from her writing. It never crossed my mind to say that I needed some time and attention from her.

When I was beaten up at school - accused of being a snob because I had lighter skin than my black classmates - I always told my mother that everything was fine, that I had won the fight. I didn’t want to worry her.

But the truth was I was very lonely and, with my mother’s knowledge, started having sex at 13. I guess it was a relief for my mother as it meant I was less demanding. And she felt that being sexually active was empowering for me because it meant I was in control of my body.

Now I simply cannot understand how she could have been so permissive. I barely want my son to leave the house on a play-date, let alone start sleeping around while barely out of junior school.

A good mother is attentive, sets boundaries and makes the world safe for her child. But my mother did none of those things.

Although I was on the Pill - something I had arranged at 13, visiting the doctor with my best friend - I fell pregnant at 14. I organised an abortion myself. Now I shudder at the memory. I was only a little girl. I don’t remember my mother being shocked or upset. She tried to be supportive, accompanying me with her boyfriend.

Although I believe that an abortion was the right decision for me then, the aftermath haunted me for decades. It ate away at my self-confidence and, until I had Tenzin, I was terrified that I’d never be able to have a baby because of what I had done to the child I had destroyed. For feminists to say that abortion carries no consequences is simply wrong.

As a child, I was terribly confused, because while I was being fed a strong feminist message, I actually yearned for a traditional mother. My father’s second wife, Judy, was a loving, maternal homemaker with five children she doted on.

There was always food in the fridge and she did all the things my mother didn’t, such as attending their school events, taking endless photos and telling her children at every opportunity how wonderful they were.

My mother was the polar opposite. She never came to a single school event, she didn’t buy me any clothes, she didn’t even help me buy my first bra - a friend was paid to go shopping with me. If I needed help with homework I asked my boyfriend’s mother.

Moving between the two homes was terrible. At my father’s home I felt much more taken care of. But, if I told my mother that I’d had a good time with Judy, she’d look bereft - making me feel I was choosing this white, privileged woman above her. I was made to feel that I had to choose one set of ideals above the other.

When I hit my 20s and first felt a longing to be a mother, I was totally confused. I could feel my biological clock ticking, but I felt if I listened to it, I would be betraying my mother and all she had taught me.

I tried to push it to the back of my mind, but over the next ten years the longing became more intense, and when I met Glen, a teacher, at a seminar five years ago, I knew I had found the man I wanted to have a baby with. Gentle, kind and hugely supportive, he is, as I knew he would be, the most wonderful father.

Although I knew what my mother felt about babies, I still hoped that when I told her I was pregnant, she would be excited for me.

‘Mum, I’m pregnant’

Instead, when I called her one morning in the spring of 2004, while I was at one of her homes housesitting, and told her my news and that I’d never been happier, she went very quiet. All she could say was that she was shocked.

Then she asked if I could check on her garden.

I put the phone down and sobbed - she had deliberately withheld her approval with the intention of hurting me. What loving mother would do that?

Worse was to follow. My mother took umbrage at an interview in which I’d mentioned that my parents didn’t protect or look out for me. She sent me an e-mail, threatening to undermine my reputation as a writer. I couldn’t believe she could be so hurtful - particularly when I was pregnant.

Devastated, I asked her to apologise and acknowledge how much she’d hurt me over the years with neglect, withholding affection and resenting me for things I had no control over - the fact that I am mixed-race, that I have a wealthy, white, professional father and that I was born at all.

But she wouldn’t back down.

Instead, she wrote me a letter saying that our relationship had been inconsequential for years and that she was no longer interested in being my mother. She even signed the letter with her first name, rather than ‘Mom’.

That was a month before Tenzin’s birth in December 2004, and I have had no contact with my mother since. She didn’t even get in touch when he was rushed into the special care baby unit after he was born suffering breathing difficulties.

And I have since heard that my mother has cut me out of her will in favour of one of my cousins. I feel terribly sad - my mother is missing such a great opportunity to be close to her family.

But I’m also relieved. Unlike most mothers, mine has never taken any pride in my achievements. She has always had a strange competitiveness that led her to undermine me at almost every turn.

When I got into Yale - a huge achievement - she asked why on earth I wanted to be educated at such a male bastion. Whenever I published anything, she wanted to write her version - trying to eclipse mine. When I wrote my memoir, Black, White And Jewish, my mother insisted on publishing her version. She finds it impossible to step out of the limelight, which is extremely ironic in light of her view that all women are sisters and should support one another.

It’s been almost four years since I have had any contact with my mother, but it’s for the best - not only for my self-protection but for my son’s well-being. I’ve done all I can to be a loyal, loving daughter, but I can no longer have this poisonous relationship destroy my life.

I know many women are shocked by my views. They expect the daughter of Alice Walker to deliver a very different message. Yes, feminism has undoubtedly given women opportunities. It’s helped open the doors for us at schools, universities and in the workplace.

But what about the problems it’s caused for my contemporaries?

What about the children?

The ease with which people can get divorced these days doesn’t take into account the toll on children. That’s all part of the unfinished business of feminism.

Then there is the issue of not having children. Even now, I meet women in their 30s who are ambivalent about having a family. They say things like: ‘I’d like a child. If it happens, it happens.’ I tell them: ‘Go home and get on with it because your window of opportunity is very small.’ As I know only too well.

Then I meet women in their 40s who are devastated because they spent two decades working on a PhD or becoming a partner in a law firm, and they missed out on having a family. Thanks to the feminist movement, they discounted their biological clocks. They’ve missed the opportunity and they’re bereft.

Feminism has betrayed an entire generation of women into childlessness. It is devastating.

But far from taking responsibility for any of this, the leaders of the women’s movement close ranks against anyone who dares to question them - as I have learned to my cost. I don’t want to hurt my mother, but I cannot stay silent. I believe feminism is an experiment, and all experiments need to be assessed on their results. Then, when you see huge mistakes have been paid, you need to make alterations.
I hope that my mother and I will be reconciled one day. Tenzin deserves to have a grandmother. But I am just so relieved that my viewpoint is no longer so utterly coloured by my mother’s.

I am my own woman and I have discovered what really matters - a happy family.

* Baby Love: Choosing Motherhood After A Lifetime Of Ambivalence by Rebecca Walker was published by Souvenir Press on May 8, £15.
* Interview by Tessa Cunningham

Deathslayer

-Taken from the blog of “Biting Beaver” archives:

“Several years ago my accountability program found that the computer had been accessing pornography. Turns out it was my middle son. To date he has been ‘caught’ accessing pornography many times since then. He was 13 I think when this started.

I banned him from the computer, but after a few months I would allow him to be on it for short periods of time. Each and every single time my son would access pornography within days (and sometimes hours) of being allowed back online.

He was aware that he would be caught because the computers are monitored but he chose to do it anyway.

Most recently my youngest son allowed my middle son to play with his PSP.

Brandon (the middle child) used it to immediately access pornography online. The child is now banned from computers, video games and so forth. I’ve talked until I’m blue in the face, I’ve grown angry and yelled, I’ve cried when I was alone and when I was in front of him.

I’ve had him read Dworkin, my site, and other places (namely OAG’s site) and I still can’t unseat this problem.

He can recite feminist literature all day long,
he can understand the tenets, the ideas behind it, how it links together

but he will not allow this knowledge to stand in the way of his porn use.

I don’t think I’m looking for advice (I’ve tried everything I could think of so far) but more a place to simply be sad. I can clearly see why he’s looking at pornography, I’ve figured all that out readily enough, but I can’t seem to make it stop.

“I know, that as soon as my child leaves my home and moves into his own place that he will be looking at porn immediately. I know that I am raising a problem for women. I know that this child will one day grow and will fully absorb the messages that porn sends to men. I know that my child masturbates to degradation of my people (when I use that phrase I mean womyn) and that with every orgasm he will further solidify his own hatred of and superiority over, women.

I know that there will likely come a day where my son coerces a young woman into sex (rape) and there isn’t a damned thing I can do about it. I look into the eyes of my son and they still sparkle like they did when he was a baby, but he’s not a baby anymore, he’s growing into a man and that man will have trained himself to degrade women before he leaves my home.

As a radical feminist who puts women first I cannot begin to determine what I should do with regards to this issue. My heart breaks because there is nothing I can do to protect the womyn he will come into contact with.

I have three boys. One of them is lost to me and as a mother and a radical womyn this breaks my heart in a way I can scarcely express. I don’t know if it says something terrible about me, but you know what haunts me late at night? More than anything else? I know, in my heart of hearts that, knowing what I know now, if I had it to do over again I would have had that abortion.

I also find myself blaming myself over and over again, even though that radical womyn inside of me stands up and yells that I’m placing blame in the wrong place. I’m not sure what I intended to say with this message. I began writing it this morning and put it away again and finally decided to finish it this evening. I think that maybe I just wanted to share, I keep trying with Brandon and I keep failing.

He simply doesn’t care.

When he wants to jerk off, everything goes right out the window.”

But he is not and the way he treats his grandmother, his sister, his grandmother, and myself make me hate myself for not pouring him down the sink at Planned Parenthood or grabbing a rusty coathanger and doing the job myself even if it killed me.” -BitingBeaver.

Deathslayer

from “Serial Killers - Aetiology of Serial Murder” by Ed Mitchell

….

Only a few examples of female serial murderers exist, and even fewer female serial sexual/sadistic killers (with most female multicide offenders being healthcare poisoners, or mass murderers). R. West and M. Hindley are seen as subservient in offending partnerships, being less blameworthy than their male partners. Other female serial killers are described as being of the comfort type (e.g. A. Wuornos [Kennedy & Nolin, 1992) and D. Puente [Blackburn, 1990]). Why are serial killers predominately male?

The feminist political agenda analysis has reframed the problem of violence against women as one of misuse of power by men who have been socialised into believing that they have a right to control the women in their lives, even through violent means (Walker, 1990, p. 695).

The predominance of female victims fits with such an analysis. Sexual murder is seen as an act of violence exercised to override not only a woman’s sexual choices, but also her choice over life or death. This links with the notion of serial murder as a patriarchal act of “sexual terrorism” (Caputi, 1988).

Sexual sadism actualizes male identity. Women are tortured, whipped, and chained; women are bound and gagged, branded and burned, cut with knives and wires; women are pissed on and shit on; red-hot needles are driven into breasts, bones are broken, rectums are torn, mouths are ravaged, cunts are savagely bludgeoned by penis after penis, dildo after dildo—and all of this to establish in the male a viable sense of his own worth (Dworkin, 1975).

If violent behaviour is learnt within the family (e.g. Farrington, 1991), from peer groups (e.g. Cairns & Cairns, 1991) and from media (e.g. Goldstein, 1986), then part of that process of learning is due to differential male and female socialisation (with males being taught to “take” and strive for power and women taught subservience and obedience). Such socialisation is achieved through reinforcement via punishment and reward (Bandura, 1973) in the classroom, family, peer, and cultural settings. A huge literature exists on masculine aggression and dominance (such as violence as an expression of traditional warrior values e.g. McCarthy, 1994), both in a social and biological capacity, all of which may be applied in extreme form to serial murder. Power expression during sex is particularly applicable to serial murder, and is a theme that has been mentioned anecdotally in many studies on sexual murder such as that of Bartholomew (1975), but rarely in connection with the large body of work that relates to aggression, power and dominance.
…..

Since some like to post articles attempting to support their opinion, I thought I’d do the same. My opinion? The men here are full of shit, and are no better than women due to the fact that we’re all trained to be what we are, as men and women. We are taught to be what we are, we just grow up and take those lessons where we choose to. You have chosen to take it to hatred, and you don’t fall that far out of the realm of this paper. It’s quite interesting, really.

Commander Scott said:

All women are callous, selfish, frigid animals with little or no personality. All women are evildoers who delight in seeing others being tortured and hurt. After all, to paraphrase Friedrich Nietzsche: in love and revenge, the woman is more barbarous than the man.

ALL WOMEN? I didn’t realize we’d ever met. When was that? Because, I would assume that to be able to make a blanket statement like that you’d have met us all. Because I wouldn’t say all Germans alive in the 1930s and early 40s were Nazis. Or that all white people are racist. Or that all men are raping, murdering, violence-obsessed bastards. Because I haven’t met them all, and of course I’ve met quite a few that, well, AREN’T the previous.

Nietzsche said a lot of stuff which people have disagreed with. He was a philosopher; his job is to say stuff that people can punch holes in, whether easy or not.

My question: are you therefore saying, following another existentialists view (Sartre, in this case) that we have, as women, chosen to be what you say we are, frigid cunts who are all racists? We were born a blank slate but we created what we have, according to you, become? And does that mean you chose to exist as an angry, hate-filled jerk? You chose to hate all women because of what you WANT to see in them? Because that’s what Sartre would say, and you seem to put a lot of weight in the words of philosophers.

Um, what is a feminist then? I’ll agree not all women are feminists, and some feminists are men (which even I think is strange, though I like it), but, what the hell does that mean, Feminists aren’t women?

Feminists aren’t women.

;)

All women are callous, selfish, frigid animals with little or no personality. All women are evildoers who delight in seeing others being tortured and hurt. After all, to paraphrase Friedrich Nietzsche: in love and revenge, the woman is more barbarous than the man.

Believe me, sweet-tits, people will say just about anything to get you to leave.

Hey, Krissa, like the website.

Well, I believe serving our country, (perhaps not in war or the military, I spoke (or typed rather) a bit hastily), in some way should be compulsory. But mainly because it would get us over this idea that the war we’re “fighting” now is a good idea. It’s more of a politically motivated belief, that I don’t want to go into. I do serve my country by not sitting around and doing nothing but whining by getting involved, voting, and learning about how this nation works. There’s more to my reasoning behind what I stated, and realize that it made me sound like a fucking idiot. I’m not necessarily taking it back, but I feel the need to clarify a bit.

I also think those that chose to go in to the military and are forced to fight in a stupid ass war that many of them don’t support have a right to complain, just to add to that.

Lastly, do you really believe women deserve equal pay, responsibilities, respect? Because everything on this website, which you seem to be a fan of, leads me to believe women are considered here as lower than dirt and deserving of nothing, least of all anything equal.

jesusneverexisted.com

@ menarefunny

I also believe all Americans should have to serve our country to some degree or another.

…

No, I didn’t choose to help my country.

So you really don’t believe that everyone should have to serve their country then. You clearly did not do so. I’m assuming you just said it because it sounds nice and patriotic.

And don’t pretend then men wouldn’t have complained about it.

Well hell, anyone who’s been drafted and shot at can complain all they want, I think they’ve earned it.

If some guy that served in Vietnam said that he beleived everyone should serve their country, I would be inclined to listen to him (Since you know, he actually did it), though I would have to disagree with him having read a variety of books written by men who themselves went off to war, got shot at, saw all kinds of horrible shit, and then came home to write a book about it. Almost invariably they recommend against doing as they did.

The point is: Based on a number of first hand sources, serving your country (Read: Getting your legs blown off by a stray artillery round on your first day at the front while shitting in the woods) doesn’t sound like something I would advocate be compulsory for everyone.

So, why exactly are you, who did not serve their country, recommending it be forced on others despite not doing anything yourself?

And, again, you missed what I was saying… I don’t want special tests because I’m a woman, I don’t want extra pay because I’m a woman, I want EQUAL PAY.

Yep, that’s fine. I have no problem with such a line of thinking.

comment”>Max Powers said:

@ menarefunny

I also believe all Americans should have to serve our country to some degree or another. I wouldn’t want to, but if I had had to do so in my early twenties, I would have done so or paid the consequences for choosing not to as it goes against what I believe.

So… on one hand you’re saying that everyone should serve their country, then you turn around and tell us that you actually didn’t, you apparently just like saying things which sound nice without doing any of the work. Well I guess if you were forced, you would have complied… maybe. But then of course we know you wouldn’t have wanted to and probably would have complained about it a lot. Where exactly you were going with this I’m not sure, but you obviously don’t really believe in any of what you’re saying if you *might* have gone along with it if someone force you to do it.

No, I didn’t choose to help my country. To be honest, if I had been made to do so in my late teens or early 20s, I might have made a bit of a stink because I was raised a pacifist. BUT I would have participated to the best of my ability had it been required of me. This is much more of a political statement than one that has anything to do with gender/sex. I do believe that things would be a bit different in this country if military service was some how a requirement. But I stand my the selective service statement: If my brother had to, I should have had to.

And don’t pretend then men wouldn’t have complained about it. Complaining is not solely something women do. Men complained about having to serve in Vietnam, according to your definition of “complaining”, because they didn’t agree with what they were supposedly fighting for. Some served, though, and some ran. Same thing happens with the men and women who have gone to Iraq. Some don’t agree with what’s going on over there, but many of them are still fighting over there, and some are choosing to serve time in prisons if they don’t want to fight. I admit it whole-heartedly, I am no where near brave enough to serve in the military, but don’t even try and pretend that there aren’t women who are. Shall I name some of those that have died over there???

If we can’t pass the test for dead-lifting a 180lb body out of a burning building, we shouldn’t be allowed to be a firefighter. If we couldn’t pull a gun with the intention of shooting, we shouldn’t be cops. If we can’t add, subtract, multiply, and divide, we shouldn’t be hired on as math teachers. But, on the other hand, if we can do all of the above, we should. Men and women are built differently, but one isn’t built better than the other. And anyone who actually believes that is an imbecile.

Except that when it comes down to the idea of equal pay for equal work, feminists seem to ignore the fact that there are some well paying jobs which a majority of women can’t do and which are staffed almost exclusively by men. Then they complain that when an overal average of pay is determined, women make less. Which sounds bad in a knee-jerk kind of way, but which makes sense if there are well paying jobs which almost no women can be employed at.

And, again, you missed what I was saying. If I can’t qualify for the higher paying job that asks more of me physically, I shouldn’t get it, and should have to live with a job that pays less. If I can’t be a firefighter, I shouldn’t make what a firefighter makes. The supposed “feminists” who complain make all women look bad, it’s as simple as that. BUT, if we were both managers of Wal-marts in the same area, did the same work, had the same responsibilities and qualifications, you better bet it would piss the hell off if you made more than me. That’s what I’m talking about. It’s bullshit because this kind of shit STILL HAPPENS. I don’t want special tests because I’m a woman, I don’t want extra pay because I’m a woman, I want EQUAL PAY.

@ menarefunny

I also believe all Americans should have to serve our country to some degree or another. I wouldn’t want to, but if I had had to do so in my early twenties, I would have done so or paid the consequences for choosing not to as it goes against what I believe.

So… on one hand you’re saying that everyone should serve their country, then you turn around and tell us that you actually didn’t, you apparently just like saying things which sound nice without doing any of the work. Well I guess if you were forced, you would have complied… maybe. But then of course we know you wouldn’t have wanted to and probably would have complained about it a lot. Where exactly you were going with this I’m not sure, but you obviously don’t really believe in any of what you’re saying if you *might* have gone along with it if someone force you to do it.

If we can’t pass the test for dead-lifting a 180lb body out of a burning building, we shouldn’t be allowed to be a firefighter. If we couldn’t pull a gun with the intention of shooting, we shouldn’t be cops. If we can’t add, subtract, multiply, and divide, we shouldn’t be hired on as math teachers. But, on the other hand, if we can do all of the above, we should. Men and women are built differently, but one isn’t built better than the other. And anyone who actually believes that is an imbecile.

Except that when it comes down to the idea of equal pay for equal work, feminists seem to ignore the fact that there are some well paying jobs which a majority of women can’t do and which are staffed almost exclusively by men. Then they complain that when an overal average of pay is determined, women make less. Which sounds bad in a knee-jerk kind of way, but which makes sense if there are well paying jobs which almost no women can be employed at.

Commander Scott said:

Jessie said:

Sweetie,if anyone is a slut,its you….
Dumbass…..

Men are sluts because they are genetically pre-programmed to enjoy sex for its own sake; women are whores because they have a strong natural aversion towards all forms of sexual activity, but they still do it for money and status anyway.

Wow, if you’ve never had sex with a woman who enjoyed it, you must have been doing it wrong.

irlandes said:

girlgirl said:

feminists dont hate men…..they just want equal treatment…..they dont all ahve to be women…..i know some guys who are feminist

Does this mean you are going to march and demand affirmative action child custody in divorce? And, march to demand women be required to register for Selective Service? Of course not. What you want is not equal treatment. It is “pick-n’-choose” equality, where the dearies get all the benefits with no responsibilities and men get an equal amount of responsibility with no benefits, which you then call equal treatment.

I actually believe that if men have to register for selective service, women should. I also believe all Americans should have to serve our country to some degree or another. I wouldn’t want to, but if I had had to do so in my early twenties, I would have done so or paid the consequences for choosing not to as it goes against what I believe. I’d love to know how many men here have served in Dick’s so-called “man-army”.

Yeah, women seem to want to pick and choose their equality, which completely defeats the point of EQUALITY. If we can’t pass the test for dead-lifting a 180lb body out of a burning building, we shouldn’t be allowed to be a firefighter. If we couldn’t pull a gun with the intention of shooting, we shouldn’t be cops. If we can’t add, subtract, multiply, and divide, we shouldn’t be hired on as math teachers. But, on the other hand, if we can do all of the above, we should. Men and women are built differently, but one isn’t built better than the other. And anyone who actually believes that is an imbecile.

Jessie said:

Sweetie,if anyone is a slut,its you….
Dumbass…..

Men are sluts because they are genetically pre-programmed to enjoy sex for its own sake; women are whores because they have a strong natural aversion towards all forms of sexual activity, but they still do it for money and status anyway.

Another thing is when a woman does realize you are right and she is totally wrong, which is most of the time if she listens, the next two words out of her mouth are, “Yes, but…”

She realized you are right, but still wants her own way.

Once on DGM, a woman attorney came on, pretending to be a man, telling us that we should not avoid marriage, that pre-nups were the answer. Well, this only works on dummies who don’t know that almost every state in the US allows a judge to tear up pre-nups for any reason she can fabricate, as long as she words it in a scholarly way. This fiend wanted to be paid to make pre-nups, then get paid again in a futile attempt to defend them.

After the debate went on a while, I nailed her on something contradictory she had said. Her response was a more complex form of “Yes, but…” and I instantly nailed her as estrogen based. I think it was, “Well, yes, I know I said that, but…” which is a version of yes, but. It’s hard to hide estrogen in any intellectual conversation.

Sweetie,if anyone is a slut,its you….
Dumbass…..

Great, to continue,

Why women talk so fast especially when they argue?

It’s another rhetorical technique;

It’s easy for them to speak fast because they only speak slogans, they don’t even have to think what they say, the only effort is in binding slogans one after the other.