Kate O’Beirne to Feminism: Fuck You!

Not everyone in the world can be a Cary Grant or a Carey Elwis — a Jim Carrey? No, this finely tuned machine man invented and named Civilization takes gears of grit and wear as well. It takes men who look like they’ve been punched in the face or fell down a tree into a wheelbarrow full of pool balls. It takes ugly.

It happens, and when it does we men don’t care about it. We don’t care about it so much that women don’t care about it either. Look at Vigo Mortensen. Women love him and he’s ugly as shit.

It’s too bad no women can say the same.

Men are better than women at being ugly. For example, when you see an ugly man, what do you see? I’m seriously asking here. I’m so manly I can’t tell the difference between ugly men and good looking ones — but I bet you can’t either. Here’s why.

Men are masters of distraction. When men are ugly, they buy a really great car or get filthy rich. Bam. No one can tell the difference. Peg leg or yellow teeth? Learn an instrument or become a phenomenal cocksmith. That’s man instinct for you: man-stinct, and we’ve been doing it that way since the first man stuck a shard of ivory through his oversized nose. Women, however, are want for man-stincts.

When women are ugly, they do three of three things: get horrendously fat, get horrendously loud, and become feminists. Seriously, women are as good at distracting people from their glaring ugly-deficiencies as a mule would be blending in at a penguin day care center — and I’m talking about nuns there, not actual penguins.

You’re a man, so I’m not even going to ask if you’d like to know more, but why hear from me? Why not hear from the first Honorary Man of the Month for 2006; that’s Mrs. “Clean Slate” Kate O’Beirne.

“but feminists are too contemptuous of dissenting women to allow them to choose freely how to live their lives without ridicule and disdain…if high-school boys had invited homely girls to the prom we might have been spared the feminist movement.”

That’s why feminists hate Hooters restaurants and bikini car washes; because they feel ugly all day every day and those are the neon sign of the pride apocalypse. Don’t even bring up boob jobs — or do because that’s exactly why women are banned the fuck off of this site, so we men can bring up whatever they want without annoyance.

Feminists don’t give a shit about rights. They don’t give a shit about the plight of third world women that’s for sure — no protest rally is going to cure a vial of acid to the face. Feminists just don’t want to be the ugly girl on the block anymore. If only those dozy bitches didn’t hate men so much, they could learn a thing or two about covering ugly with class instead of crass.

The Woman Who Fucked Feminism.

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