Marie Curie Deserves a Nobel Prize in Full of Shit

You know, I’m seriously sick of all this Marie Curie nonsense.

Men, let me tell you one thing that I know as 100% fact. Marie Curie was not some fucking super scientist that saved all women from the brink of total historical irrelevance. Women can’t be scientists; plain and simple. It’s not in their blood.

What she actually was — just like every other successful woman in history — was an opinionated, bray-hard, nag ninny with a penchant for stealing the work of her diligent husband.

Marie Curie was the Courtney Love of the 1920’s.

Watch me as I compile a man-erific list of evidence against this pseudo-chemist broad-fraud and her tall tales of females in science. The very idea of which is as laughable as a farting machine.

First of all, Madam Marie Curie didn’t win any fuck all Nobel Prize. She won a third of a Nobel Prize. And to do so she had to support herself on not only her husband, but some other dude as well. How typical of a woman to allow her business relationships to become inappropriately mingled with her personal life. If Marie Curie deserves any kind of Nobel Prize, it’s one for Cock Teasing — which shouldn’t be rewarded. That’s why there’s no Nobel Prize for it.

Marie Curie was the first woman to be allegedly awarded the Nobel Prize.

Here’s a lesson that I’ve learned while reading books of history. I’m a man so I enjoy history. I find it a comfortable fit with my manly ethos; like a worn jacket or old pair of sneaking shoes. Unlike women of course, who loathe history as much as they hate being told they’re just as obnoxious as their mothers. And they all are.

Throughout my years of didactic historical research, I’ve realized that any time a woman is the first to do something it’s always complete token bullshit. And I mean industrial-grade, economy-sized bullshit. The kind of tangled nonsense horseshit you get when you cross a woman and an opinion, or a mule and a spinning wheel. Just like Sandra Day O’Connor, Susan B. Anthony, Edith Wharton, Rebecca Felton, Lucy Stone, Madeline Albright, and Sally Ride; Marie Curie is nothing more than a lip-serviced “Runner Up” in the history of MAN.

What my point is, is that instead of hijacking her husbands work on radiation and spouting an infeasible, overly-idealistic and immature philosophical dogma about scientific progress while doing so, Marie Curie should have been going for her Nobel Prize in Not Dying of Radiation Poisoning like a twat. What the fuck do women know about scientific progress anyway? How about absolutely nothing.

Marie Curie was also widely known as a racist — and she was also Polish so you know she was dumb as shit.

Related Articles: