Fuck You, Eco-Cunts.

“9 out of 10 women say they’d rather chat up a guy who owns the latest fuel-efficient car versus the latest sports car,” says a survey brought to us by GM — a company that sells electric fucking cars.

As a man who owns a bitchin sports convertible that runs on premium, burns through tires like they’re made of wax, and makes eco-friendly cars piss themselves with oil when it rumbles by (like in the Transformers movie), I feel I should respond to the above survey.

9 out of 10 women: I don’t give a shit about you.

You 90% of women are the lower 90% of women. You are the 1’s, 2’s, 3’s, 4’s, 5’s, 6’s, 7’s, 8’s, and 9’s of the world and you can go fuck a midget for all I care. You’re not hot enough for me to pretend you even exist.

If you want to know why 9 out of 10 women “prefer” men who drive eco-friendly cars, watch a movie called A Beautiful Mind and take notes. Those women “prefer” losers because they are losers. They know they can’t get any better so they change their preferences to maximize their benefits. It’s straight economics. Then watch a movie called Caddyshack.

“The world needs ditch diggers too.”

Eco-friendly” cars are not better for the environment.

It takes 113,000,000 BTUs of energy to build one of those futuristic pussy-mobiles called a Toyota Prius; which is not only a loss of Man Points to own and drive, but also a loss of Man Points to rent, ride in, fuck in, or even see rolling down the street. 113,000,000 BTU’s equals 1,000 gallons of gasoline. You could drive a 98 Toyota Tercel on that amount of gasoline for like 7 years. That means by purchasing an “eco-friendly” car, you are pissing away 7 years of driving in one fucking purchase. If you don’t get 7 years of driving out of that hybrid piece of shit (which the warantee guarantees you won’t) you just fucked Mother Earth.

Buying a hybrid is like walking into Cesar’s Palace and tipping the valet ten grand instead of dropping it on a roulette wheel. You can uncross your fingers, fucko. Vegas doesn’t give comps for burning cash.

Old cars are better for the environment than new hybrid cars. So why don’t we promote old cars as the “eco-friendly” alternative to hybrids?

Women don’t buy used shit.

Look at fashion. Look at furniture. Look at babies. Women won’t take anything used even if it means increasing the global quality of life. In this case, that means pollution. Other times, it means sex lube. So what if the seal on the lube bottle was broken? You’re not a virgin either, princess.

That’s called PR.

“Green” cars are horseshit marketed toward women and this survey proves it. This is how women read the above survey:

9 out of 10 women prefer guys who save the environment…and if you don’t, you must be some kind of stupid, gold-digging bimbo!

Ka-ching! Ring up another hybrid for the girl daddy didn’t love enough. Here are some more statistics from a survey geared so hard toward women it’s got less cock than a Ken doll.

“Eighty percent of American car buyers would find someone with the latest fuel-efficient car more interesting to talk to at a party than someone with the latest sports car.”

True. But only because a man who defines himself by his fucking car doesn’t exist. Except maybe in the deluded feminist fantasies of every uptight, eco-crusading bitch in the world who thinks her vagina is made out of porcelain. It doesn’t break if you use it, honey. Put out once or twice and you stupid, tight-assed, eco-cunts might just enjoy a ride or two in a car that can do 60 in under twenty seconds.

If I defined myself by my car, 19 year old girls with freshly printed high school degrees would line up to fuck me. Unfortunately for the other 80% of you whores, I have too many other things to define myself by. And so do all men with awesome cars. Men with awesome cars define themselves by their awesome jobs, their awesome stories, and their awesome attitudes. These are the things with which bitchin sports cars are earned. They are one in the same.

Only women could be sold self-esteem by hybrid car salesmen. Women could be sold ice cubes in Alaska by a fucking vending machine.

Besides, in what universe is a stupid hybrid car more interesting than a fifteen thousand dollar watch with a meteorite in the face? Fuck you, GM.

“More than 40% of 18 to 43 year olds say it’s a fashion faux pas nowadays to have a car that’s not green or environmentally friendly.”

I wonder which 40% of the 18-43 year old population know what a “fashion faux pas” is. Fucking women.

Eco-friendly cars are not fashion.

Anyone who thinks they are (women) is someone who will treat them like “fashion”. Women exchange their car every 3 years until their lease is so far upside down it’s making Happy Meal toys. Women equip their fashionable car with enough fashionable consumable bullshit to clog a landfill. Women wreck the idea of eco-friendly cars before they even start simply because they can’t commit to anything.

An eco-friendly car only works if you drive it until it falls apart. If you keep trading it in, you’re not just fucking Mother Earth, you’re wiping your dick on her curtains and punting her cat across the lawn on your way out.

Manclusion

If the world went by a woman’s definition of “eco-friendly”, we’d all just paint our shit green and learn to stop breathing through our noses. That way our own green shit wouldn’t stink us to death.

Men are better than women at being eco-friendly with our cars. By buying a bitchin sports car, I have funded innovation, I have encouraged young girls to eat less so they might one day get their skinny little asses inside my Lexus sex machine and therefore, I have decreased fuel spent on growing crops for their fat asses. I have saved the world, but more importantly, I have punted 9 out of 10 of world’s bitches out of my sex pool.

The GM survey
Wired Weighs in on Eco-Friendly Cars - How many women read Wired? None who don’t have a penis.

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91 Comments in 89 threads.»

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Comment by Big ALMKII
2008-06-06 07:08:16 - IP Man-Hash: eafbb93df0ff4

English Master said:

Dudes… there’s a MANTASTIC solution to this fuckin’ problem that kicks ass AND doesn’t give us an excuse to be sacrificing our men over there in Iraq for oil that we don’t need.

Anyone ever heard of the TESLA ROADSTER?? (Of course not - those fucking cunts in Washington don’t WANT you to hear about it!)

This in-your-face ENTIRELY ELECTRIC sports car goes 0-60 in 3.9 seconds, with a 13,000 rpm redline, starts around $100K, and DOESN’T look like a fucking elf shoe (prissy Prius)!

The Tesla Roadster is going to be the next badass thing for men - mark my words, brothers.

Very true, a car designed by men for men.

 
Comment by JCS
2008-06-06 01:09:08 - IP Man-Hash: 855293c95ae80

Wow. I am definitely impressed. With all the shit-talking women do about men, it’s actually nice to see the flip side.

 
Comment by Rawkstah
2008-06-05 23:51:21 - IP Man-Hash: f629fb56d8d9a

no manhole said:@Rawkstah- thanks for the info. To me, you appear to be a bit of a polymath.

That’s one of the great things about being a man, N.M.

It’s our birthright to consume, combine, and store vast volumes of knowledge, ’tis true, but the real power of masculinity is to then wisely dispense only what knowledge is needed at any given moment. (Dick has that ability in spades, and it’s why we admire him.)

This is where women fail the most epic. They not only lack logistical thinking, but mistakenly believe an uninformed opinion is equal to useful data. A great example would be two men working together vs. two women doing whatever non-jobs they do together.

Before the job, men will size each other up, to confirm the other’s worth. Then they will express the knowledge they have and the conclusions thereby. Both men will then refine each others ideas by contributing more of the precious knowledge each man possesses like an awesome cold war of creativity. In the end, one of two things will occur; either the process will result in a *Best Thang Evar* and the people will rejoice, or they never agree and move on the next idea. Look at Sandman’s post; he suggested a good Harley bike that I have no experience with, confirmed that real Harley men aren’t snobbish, then gave a thumb’s up on the Ninja. Man points!

A woman gets out of bed brimming with hate and the feeling like whatever malfunctioning holodeck program she was dreaming just now was really real. She drags this hate n’ dreamstate sammich into her “job” and plops it down next to her sister-in-arms. Then, inevitably, one of them asks the question that should never be asked of a woman: “How are you?” That question is the key to Pandora’s bitchbox, and will unleash not a cold war of creativity, but a thousand-year war of stupidity and lameness as each woman tries to outdo the other with tales of life’s “hardships,” aka *Wurst Thang Evar*

Don’t ever let a woman discourage you from learning or doing. No matter how many skazwags come to this page and screech “sexless nurd” or “u r teh gayz,” remember that all women fear, envy, then obey the minds, the mucscles, the mouths, and the meat of men, especially the ones that know how to flex them.

-Rawkstah

 
Comment by Matty
2008-06-05 22:42:26 - IP Man-Hash: 37e6c3bef4774

lol women drivers.. I hate them even worse when its 8:30 and they are doing 60k in a 90k zone because they cant watch the road and change the dvd for her brats of childen in the back seat on her SUV.

And if you go driving with your mum just tell her your gonna stay home, as your own safety is more important than having someone who cant drive and keeps braking when their is no one on the road,also its a total loss of man points

 
Comment by M.
2008-06-05 21:43:06 - IP Man-Hash: 7835cf1291bf4

So I saw this Dick guy on youtube where he did a bit with Dr. Phil and yea I found it pretty fucking funny, I myself even consider myself to be a chauvinist.
But the more I read on his website, the more I come to think that his articles go beyond chauvinism and borderline Ted Bundyism. Having said that, yea I exaggerate, more appropriately it’s probably for the most part an act, Dick might be a clever entrepreneur, he’s a shit stirrer and a button pusher which makes him some money and gain a bit of fame along the way. So yea Dick’s a pretty clever guy.
On the other hand…
Some of the people who read and comment on this site don’t seem to be, so to all the Cyber Ted Bundys out there who sit around slinging their junk 10 times a day to punishment porn and this website cos their ma hit them when they were a boy or some shit, I call on you to grow up and come back to planet Earth you archaic fuckwits:
“Go and make your wife breakfast Sandman. You are the reason dune coons did 9/11. Fucking mangina spastic. I hope you wife gets her tit removed after cancer spreads to her arse.”
Just one example, but that shit aint healthy.
Maybe this website needs to have a disclaimer when you log on, “If you’re a fucking moron who’s destined to be the next ‘(insert name here) the ripper’ then piss off now.” That could be you.
Regards,
M.

 
Comment by jarbrain
2008-06-05 21:18:38 - IP Man-Hash: 062703d978411

NEXT

 
Comment by jarbrain
2008-06-05 21:16:56 - IP Man-Hash: 062703d978411

Sin City Harley said:

I raise my glass to you Dick.

I too am a connoisseur of a fine sports roadster convertible automobile. When I’m not cruising Sin City Boulevard on the Harley, its my German masterpiece of machinery I am indulging myself in.

And to say that nine out of ten women would prefer some rubberband-driven eco-fuckmobile, over my premium gas guzzling 8 cylinder ball-busting Luftwaffe on four wheels –– I’d say you better check your definition of what “woman” means. What it does NOT mean is some skinny lily-white butch rabbit-food eating eco-cunt attending a PETA rally in downtown Portland.

Any red-blooded American woman with a belly ring and a thong creeping up the middle of her back, would rather be seen massaging her loins with fine German leather craftsmanship, rather then squeaking her ass on some GM pseudo-faux-leatherette.

Nine out of ten women like a big cock too, but that doesn’t mean they will chat up and fuck a horse –– unless of course those women are taking part in a survey being given by a company trying to sell them cute eco horsey condoms.

Oh, great-another fucking drunk w/ a glass in the air like anything to me; it is not a brain, a penis, a cunt or anything other than an individual that can not control themselves. Pick and choose, pick choose….the alcoholism goes, along w/ everyone who constantly lies to themselves.

 
Comment by jarbrain
2008-06-05 21:14:21 - IP Man-Hash: 062703d978411

Eric Ogunbase said:

I’d rather masturbate with sandpaper than drive a “green” vehicle. It was that reasoning which led me to my purchase of a Suburban. Because in a crash (since you KNOW women/ecofucks can’t drive), I’ll win.

Ha! No wonder my boss is such a prick.

 
Comment by jarbrain
2008-06-05 20:56:20 - IP Man-Hash: 062703d978411

jarbrain said:

Neil said:

“Women exchange their car every 3 years until their lease is so far upside down it’s making Happy Meal toys.”

Now I get it - so far upside down that it’s on the other side of the Earth, in China, and doing cheap labor, like making Happy Meal toys, and thereby consuming even more energy.

“carbon, carbon,carbon,carbon,carbon..” Emissions to emissions-bus to bus. Steel must always be, just ask Gary.

That one took me a while, but thank God, for a moment I thought I was a woman, and lost my common sense, as well as my sense of humor!

What you should be checking for is your nuts, Bud.

 
Comment by jarbrain
2008-06-05 20:49:38 - IP Man-Hash: 062703d978411

Neil said:

“Women exchange their car every 3 years until their lease is so far upside down it’s making Happy Meal toys.”

Now I get it - so far upside down that it’s on the other side of the Earth, in China, and doing cheap labor, like making Happy Meal toys, and thereby consuming even more energy.

“carbon, carbon,carbon,carbon,carbon..” Emissions to emissions-bus to bus. Steel must always be, just ask Gary.

That one took me a while, but thank God, for a moment I thought I was a woman, and lost my common sense, as well as my sense of humor!

 
Comment by tracy
2008-06-05 20:46:17 - IP Man-Hash: 2959d8e83f2f0

i have a motorcycle that will go 0 to 80 in 3 sec. and get 55 mpg… like u say pay for innovation and get something worth driving!!

 
Comment by tracy
2008-06-05 20:43:29 - IP Man-Hash: 2959d8e83f2f0

shit man you just keep gpoing and going ….LONG LIVE THE DICK!!!!!

 
Comment by SMash
2008-06-05 20:07:06 - IP Man-Hash: fd45984433817

Ok Sandman, take you BMW, your Harley, and get the fuck out of here you stinking dune coon. I could not give a flying fuck what you’ve got to say about a god damn thing. Die in a fire.

 
Comment by Sandman
2008-06-05 17:49:46 - IP Man-Hash: 9623ac8098b53

Rawkstah said:

Good idea N.M. If you aren’t a Harley-Davidson snob, might I suggest you look at the Kawasaki Ninja 250R, perfect for beginners. Has a noisy 249cc engine, costs about $3,000, and just for you, gets between 50-70 miles per gallon of rice.

Your local DMV will usually teach you how to ride and speed your acquisition of a motorcycle licence. In some counties you may be training with the bike cop trainees, thus making some manly connections with manly CHiPs-style lawmen.

Furthermore, and most importantly, men are better than women at motorcycles.

-Rawkstah

My 1200 Harley Sportster gets 60mpg and is very quick. Real Harley bikers arent snobs. Rubbies are shunned and beat on. In fact one of my best bro’s rides a Harley Road king and a Hayabusa!

That Ninja is a great beginner bike at a good price too.

 
Comment by English Master
2008-06-05 17:15:26 - IP Man-Hash: ced2699915e0b

Dudes… there’s a MANTASTIC solution to this fuckin’ problem that kicks ass AND doesn’t give us an excuse to be sacrificing our men over there in Iraq for oil that we don’t need.

Anyone ever heard of the TESLA ROADSTER?? (Of course not - those fucking cunts in Washington don’t WANT you to hear about it!)

This in-your-face ENTIRELY ELECTRIC sports car goes 0-60 in 3.9 seconds, with a 13,000 rpm redline, starts around $100K, and DOESN’T look like a fucking elf shoe (prissy Prius)!

The Tesla Roadster is going to be the next badass thing for men - mark my words, brothers.

 
Comment by no manhole
2008-06-05 15:07:00 - IP Man-Hash: a5f3a30b88dc6

@Rawkstah- thanks for the info. To me, you appear to be a bit of a polymath.

 
Comment by Rawkstah
2008-06-05 14:20:42 - IP Man-Hash: f629fb56d8d9a

Good idea N.M. If you aren’t a Harley-Davidson snob, might I suggest you look at the Kawasaki Ninja 250R, perfect for beginners. Has a noisy 249cc engine, costs about $3,000, and just for you, gets between 50-70 miles per gallon of rice.

Your local DMV will usually teach you how to ride and speed your acquisition of a motorcycle licence. In some counties you may be training with the bike cop trainees, thus making some manly connections with manly CHiPs-style lawmen.

Furthermore, and most importantly, men are better than women at motorcycles.

-Rawkstah

 
Comment by Sandman
2008-06-05 13:43:56 - IP Man-Hash: 9623ac8098b53

SMash said:

Go and make your wife breakfast Sandman. You are the reason dune coons did 9/11. Fucking mangina spastic. I hope you wife gets her tit removed after cancer spreads to her arse.

Keepin it classy like before I see. Im not married, I dont like Islamic extremists or particularly care for the religion of Islam at all.

I enjoy and agree with all of Dicks posts, and Maddox for that matter as well. And I drive a BMW sports car in spite of the eco cars.

You can make points about men being better than women and the redundancy of the feminist movement without being so crass and hatefull.

Handle it with maturity and class like Dick does.

 
Comment by RAC
2008-06-05 12:49:18 - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9

I’m a chick and am more concerned about how fucked up it is going to be when (and NOT IF) we start paying 5 dollars a gallon than I care about being eco-friendly-i could give a rats ass about the environment at the moment since we’ll all be dead by the time the severe effects of global warming kick in…Hybrid cars are all hype…and for GM to say women would rather chat it up with a man about eco-friendly cars is just another marketing ploy for GM especially since they’ll soon stop selling their gas guzzlers-plus as gas prices rise isnt EVERYONE talking alt fuel anyways???

 
Comment by anita
2008-06-05 12:33:03 - IP Man-Hash: a778ebe78e187

mr. dick,

as a women, you are right again…we just look what kind of nice car the man has… we don’t care about that fuel-efficient …also because we know nothing about it.
dick you can fuck me always

xxx
anita

 
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