Fuck You, Eco-Cunts.
“9 out of 10 women say they’d rather chat up a guy who owns the latest fuel-efficient car versus the latest sports car,” says a survey brought to us by GM — a company that sells electric fucking cars.
As a man who owns a bitchin sports convertible that runs on premium, burns through tires like they’re made of wax, and makes eco-friendly cars piss themselves with oil when it rumbles by (like in the Transformers movie), I feel I should respond to the above survey.
9 out of 10 women: I don’t give a shit about you.
You 90% of women are the lower 90% of women. You are the 1’s, 2’s, 3’s, 4’s, 5’s, 6’s, 7’s, 8’s, and 9’s of the world and you can go fuck a midget for all I care. You’re not hot enough for me to pretend you even exist.
If you want to know why 9 out of 10 women “prefer” men who drive eco-friendly cars, watch a movie called A Beautiful Mind and take notes. Those women “prefer” losers because they are losers. They know they can’t get any better so they change their preferences to maximize their benefits. It’s straight economics. Then watch a movie called Caddyshack.
“The world needs ditch diggers too.”
Eco-friendly” cars are not better for the environment.
It takes 113,000,000 BTUs of energy to build one of those futuristic pussy-mobiles called a Toyota Prius; which is not only a loss of Man Points to own and drive, but also a loss of Man Points to rent, ride in, fuck in, or even see rolling down the street. 113,000,000 BTU’s equals 1,000 gallons of gasoline. You could drive a 98 Toyota Tercel on that amount of gasoline for like 7 years. That means by purchasing an “eco-friendly” car, you are pissing away 7 years of driving in one fucking purchase. If you don’t get 7 years of driving out of that hybrid piece of shit (which the warantee guarantees you won’t) you just fucked Mother Earth.
Buying a hybrid is like walking into Cesar’s Palace and tipping the valet ten grand instead of dropping it on a roulette wheel. You can uncross your fingers, fucko. Vegas doesn’t give comps for burning cash.
Old cars are better for the environment than new hybrid cars. So why don’t we promote old cars as the “eco-friendly” alternative to hybrids?
Women don’t buy used shit.
Look at fashion. Look at furniture. Look at babies. Women won’t take anything used even if it means increasing the global quality of life. In this case, that means pollution. Other times, it means sex lube. So what if the seal on the lube bottle was broken? You’re not a virgin either, princess.
That’s called PR.
“Green” cars are horseshit marketed toward women and this survey proves it. This is how women read the above survey:
9 out of 10 women prefer guys who save the environment…and if you don’t, you must be some kind of stupid, gold-digging bimbo!
Ka-ching! Ring up another hybrid for the girl daddy didn’t love enough. Here are some more statistics from a survey geared so hard toward women it’s got less cock than a Ken doll.
“Eighty percent of American car buyers would find someone with the latest fuel-efficient car more interesting to talk to at a party than someone with the latest sports car.”
True. But only because a man who defines himself by his fucking car doesn’t exist. Except maybe in the deluded feminist fantasies of every uptight, eco-crusading bitch in the world who thinks her vagina is made out of porcelain. It doesn’t break if you use it, honey. Put out once or twice and you stupid, tight-assed, eco-cunts might just enjoy a ride or two in a car that can do 60 in under twenty seconds.
If I defined myself by my car, 19 year old girls with freshly printed high school degrees would line up to fuck me. Unfortunately for the other 80% of you whores, I have too many other things to define myself by. And so do all men with awesome cars. Men with awesome cars define themselves by their awesome jobs, their awesome stories, and their awesome attitudes. These are the things with which bitchin sports cars are earned. They are one in the same.
Only women could be sold self-esteem by hybrid car salesmen. Women could be sold ice cubes in Alaska by a fucking vending machine.
Besides, in what universe is a stupid hybrid car more interesting than a fifteen thousand dollar watch with a meteorite in the face? Fuck you, GM.
“More than 40% of 18 to 43 year olds say it’s a fashion faux pas nowadays to have a car that’s not green or environmentally friendly.”
I wonder which 40% of the 18-43 year old population know what a “fashion faux pas” is. Fucking women.
Eco-friendly cars are not fashion.
Anyone who thinks they are (women) is someone who will treat them like “fashion”. Women exchange their car every 3 years until their lease is so far upside down it’s making Happy Meal toys. Women equip their fashionable car with enough fashionable consumable bullshit to clog a landfill. Women wreck the idea of eco-friendly cars before they even start simply because they can’t commit to anything.
An eco-friendly car only works if you drive it until it falls apart. If you keep trading it in, you’re not just fucking Mother Earth, you’re wiping your dick on her curtains and punting her cat across the lawn on your way out.
Manclusion
If the world went by a woman’s definition of “eco-friendly”, we’d all just paint our shit green and learn to stop breathing through our noses. That way our own green shit wouldn’t stink us to death.
Men are better than women at being eco-friendly with our cars. By buying a bitchin sports car, I have funded innovation, I have encouraged young girls to eat less so they might one day get their skinny little asses inside my Lexus sex machine and therefore, I have decreased fuel spent on growing crops for their fat asses. I have saved the world, but more importantly, I have punted 9 out of 10 of world’s bitches out of my sex pool.
The GM survey
Wired Weighs in on Eco-Friendly Cars - How many women read Wired? None who don’t have a penis.
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In fact, the fact that he has schizofrenia and still won a Nobel Prize and achieved so much makes his achievements even more worthy.
P Coderch
Dick, I agree wtih you 99% of the time, but c’mon…John Nash a loser? The guy won a freaking Nobel Prize in economics and was one of the great mathematicians of the 20th Century. Just because he has schizofrenia that does not make him a loser.
P Coderch
@Mark - LOL!! Hilarious delusions of grandeur, aren’t they.
I laugh my head of when women say shit like:
• ”I don’t believe you. ”
• “I think you’re cheating. ”
• “That doesn’t impress me. ”
• “I don’t trust you.”
• “Oh, so you’re saying . . . .”
All of those comments are designed to do one thing only –>> MAKE MEN LAUGH.
Women only say them because they expect a Man’s reaction to be that of a puppy dog’s. That he should now jump up on his hind legs to find out WHY - AND FIX IT. When she doesn’t GET that reaction . . . that’s when women who assume they are “10″s get EXTREMELY pissed off.
Stand back, I don’t know how fucked up this bitch can get.
LOL!!!!
What’s with you bitches who think men are interested in ‘impressing you’ at ALL.
“This doesn’t impress me”.
“That doesn’t impress me”.
Why do you cunts always say shit like that?? So? It doesn’t impress you. Men don’t buy bitchin’ sports cars to impress YOU. We have better things to do with our lives.
Fuck off.
G
Alexis, give it a rest , bitch.
You women would never tolerate that sort of approach from a man so why the fuck are you dishing it out on a website where you don’t even belong???
Would you ever tolerate it if a man said:
“WHO GIVES A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK?
I WON’T BE FUCKING YOUR OPINION.
. . . or how about . . . .
“WHO GIVES A SHIT WHAT YOUR NAME IS,
I WONT BE CALLING YOU EVER AGAIN.”
No you wouldn’t.
The first thing you ECO-CUNTS wanna know is:
• What does he do for a living
• Where does he live
• AND WHAT KIND OF CAR DOES HE DRIVE.
(The classic women-are-all-whores questions)
If I ever meet another girl again I will remember what YOU fucking said and give her “Who gives a shit what car I drive?? I won’t be fucking you with my car.”
Women actually have a problem jumping into bed with men UNTIL they know EXACTLY what kind of car he drives. So you can stop pretending m-kay? And since you ECO-CUNTS base decision to fuck man on his job, address and car, who fucking cares how big (or small) his penis is???
. . .thats REALLY what’s you should have asked.
When we want your opinion, we will give it to you.
So don’t be calling yourself a ‘10′ either. That’s not your right.
The right to call you a “10″ belongs to a –>> MAN.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
Wow…it seems I’ve wandered in to quite a bitter little sausage party. As someone who does prefer green living (an eco-cunt? how articulate…) I do think it will be really amusing to watch the author of this post go broke trying to fill the tank of his bitchin’ sports car (read: substitute for very small penis). I can assure you that this 10 is not impressed in the least by a hot car. I much prefer a hot guy and really, who gives a shit what he’s driving? I won’t be fucking his car.
Right Dick, hot damn, look at the non-existent muscles on that guy. mmm, and the fact he has no hair and looks like an old fag really gets me all hot. Those glasses covering up his ugly face is a plus too :D
haha wow i laughed but thats sad and true…
Women are so concerned about “going green” but they don’t give two shits about wearing diamonds that African kids killed each other for.
“You are the 1’s, 2’s, 3’s, 4’s, 5’s, 6’s, 7’s, 8’s, and 9’s of the world and you can go fuck a midget for all I care.”
Just for that sentance this is the best article i have read this year.
What that statistic actually means is that 9 out of 10 women like the idea of being the sort of person who cares about the environment. But they don’t. They just care about themselves, and how they look, which is why they lied about it in the first place.
Two bitchy housewives each get a car. One is an Escalade. The other is a Prius. Which of the women do you think will feel they have status over the other one?
9 out of 10 women admit to lying frequently. That doesn’t lend credibility to the remaining 1.
I remember when the Ford Excursion was new. The biggest SUV at the time. Some eco group pronounced it an “urban assault” vehicle, AND SALES WENT UP, :)
When I heard that, I wanted one, too! Cool!
You say there are too many things that “define” you and then talk about a sports car in the end?
Here’s what you should have said: a man will use whatever car he can afford and use. He won’t buy a hybrid just to impress others, and he doesn’t need one to get girls.
haha Mannn your funny
LOL,fuck her SKULL HARD:D
So over the line that it becomes funny anyway:)
Is Nicolas Cage the new Chuck Norris now,by the way?:D
Agreed. The garbage spewing from his mawls is not healthy and reeks of ignorance. He has no idea what race I am but calls me a “dune coon” twice. I mean at this point its like talking to a wall…or a woman. You won’t change his mind and he isn’t hearing a damn thing anyway.
All this survey shows is that 9 out of 10 women don’t know shit from shinola.
Excuse the piss out of me for spending 6 years active duty in the Navy, doing 5 hard years in engineering school, and choosing NOT to live like a fucking hippy now that I’ve finally started earning a decent paycheck.
I know, now that I’m FINALLY in a good place financially, I’m supposed to give it all back by trading it for an ungrateful wife and a bunch of screaming little pants-shitting kids. Fuck off, I’m not going to do it. Any bitch that doesn’t like it can put it to music and hit the fucking road.
Manmobile = Manlaw
Hybrids cars make more pollution and is cheaper to maintain than a Hummer H2.
Just assembling one emits more pollution because the batteries need to be sent in 4 countries just to be made. After 100,000 miles, the batteries go dead and they need replacing. It’s hard to recycle that type of battery. I’ve also heard that just assembling a Hybrid equals assembling a Hybrid and driving it until 100,000 miles.
Hybrid owners are idiots if they think they’re saving money on gas. IF you buy a brand new hybrid, it’ll take 20-30 years for you to actually save money on gas.
I actually encourage others to buy fuel efficient hybrids. That means there will be more gas for my Viper! GO HYBRIDS!