Girl Bands Are Shit
Throughout history, musical prodigies who were all men have revolutionized music, leaving exotic new tapestries of sound behind for the world to enjoy. That’s called immortality and it’s completely off-limits to women.
In order to join the ranks of the immortal, you have to give the world something that can’t eventually cash a social security check. Women can’t do that. As a man, reaching your potential may take longer than 9 months.
But there’s another type of musician that’s equally important to music. Bands. Even though most of them suck, most bands are not the worst of the worst. Most bands are not girl bands.
Girl bands are shit.
Fuck Teamwork
Being in a band is like being in a cockblocking competition. Your weapon is your instrument, and your foe is every other man on Earth. Since the only cock women have ever had to block to get what they want is their husband’s, women don’t know the first thing about being in a band.
Competition is the spark plug of greatness.
Without musical competitiveness among band members, you end up with a mess lacking in conviction and full of trial and error. Girl bands are like middle-management teleconferences. Everyone wants to look as busy as possible, no one is actually doing anything, and it’s all out of sync because technology isn’t magic.
A fuzz box won’t make a girl a star. Only a penis will do that. See Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, or Heather Mills for an explanation.
Boyfriends
All girl bands have at least a hundred songs about their ex-boyfriends. The second girls learn to talk, boys are all they want to talk about. The second girls learn to write, boys are all they want to write notes about. If girls could learn to piss in the snow, guess what they would be pissing. Boys.
The reason girl bands who are successful are over-hyped monsters created from focus groups, is not because of marketing. It’s because “real” girl bands shoot themselves in the vagina with truckloads of repetitive and immature emotional horseshit. Not even PT Barnum could sell a “lesbian”-looking trio from Silverlake who don’t think it’s cool to put on mascara or lip liner while they sing half their songs about what it feels like to be used up sperm dumpsters.
At least the Spice Girls had snazzy boots.
Too Complicated
There are only three instruments that women can play with any kind of competence. Their voice, their hips, and a bass guitar. Everything else is way too complicated.
Until the four bass quartet is an actual thing anyone wants to listen to, girl bands can go fuck themselves.
No smoking in bars? How about no girl bands.
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March 25th, 2008 at 10:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9cfdf00b83713
Why would i wish it on you?
I wasn’t threatening anyone.
I just think it’s beyond pathetic that any woman would accept being called worthless and told she has no soul and sucks at everything, and these women go so far as to kiss dicks ass whenever he posts something.
Can you imagine a feminist website where they constantly insult men, and then seeing men on there saying “youre right girls, i am a scumbag, youre right i am a soulless animal, please accept me”
March 26th, 2008 at 5:20 am - IP Man-Hash: 9342b2aa308e5
And often look like girls as well.
Yes, including them.
The difference being that they understand their inferiority and celebrate it.
There are several. Barry Deutsch, Hugo Schwyzer and a few others spring to mind instantaneously. These sad excuses for men actually run feminist websites that have permitted levels of gender hatred never achieved on MABTW.
March 26th, 2008 at 5:47 am - IP Man-Hash: e0f0a45876d85
Your dad raised you like a boy. Theres the problem.
Let me guess, you’re boyfriend is a more “feminine” type of male. And probably skinnier/weaker than you and you’re the dominant one in the relationship.
March 26th, 2008 at 6:51 am - IP Man-Hash: d653cff06dec4
Hahaha she’s a fucking joke isn’t she.
Its easy to think you’re powerful when your example of masculinity is a boy who would blow away in the wind.
March 26th, 2008 at 7:16 am - IP Man-Hash: 67caec8fb3425
One female band that did create some decent music is Heart.
Yes they had male influences like Led Zeplin and they gave them props. They were smart enough to know that they had to have males to play the real instruments. Drums and guitars.
Some women have good voices.
As an musician I found women were just hard to deal with in the band scene but then, they are difficult in everything.
I knew one that wasn’t and she was honest enough to admit that she hated women.
March 26th, 2008 at 8:34 am - IP Man-Hash: fb1de3c77ad9c
Holy shit Sarah, get off the computer and enjoy this thing called “LIFE”. Jesustittyfucking Christ I love how no one will retort back to you right away, so it’s like you continue to post until you get a response back. Seriously, I don’t care what your opinion of me is: you’re a joke.
I don’t care who started a band that has a girl singer in it, who can play the goddamn drums, who is successful money wise or not in these lame ass bands — the point remains that they are all INFERIOR simply because of a vagina presence. How is that so hard to understand?
Also, if you feel this strongly for these types of bands, why don’t you go talk about how ‘kickass’ they are on their websites and get off the fuck of this one.
ps- Carnie williams was a bit too old for me, but she is the fat fucker in Wilson Philips, some all girl band in the 80’s. Google her.. that is what I imagine you to look like. :D
March 26th, 2008 at 9:14 am - IP Man-Hash: 5c8336b56fb06
@LadyXX- wilson. it’s carnie wilson. get your slams right.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:52 am - IP Man-Hash: 1ace054919063
EVERY ONE OF THOSE BANDS IS SUCKY. But not all groups with women in the suck (i.e: The Supremes, The Mammas and the Poppas, Peter, Paul, and Mary, Jefferson Airplane, Janis Joplin, Dusty Springfeild, Ella Fitzgerald, Aretha Franklin, etc.)
I mean they ended up being some really influential and monumental bands and singers.
A band isn’t based on what makes it up, but the talent it posesses. Look at Fall Out Boy, all men, and they blow. Hawthorne Heights? Yep, all men, and they suck.
It’s not who you are, it’s what you can do that makes great music.
March 26th, 2008 at 11:36 am - IP Man-Hash: 7288b00e588db
you have GOT to be kidding me. those bands shame female artists.
i notice someone above mentioned the breeders, you might as well mention The Pixies as well. although only the bassist was female, they’re still one of the most influential bands in more recent history of rock.
i also notice that someone mentioned The Donnas later L7. first of all, the lead singer of L7 opened for The Donnas. i feel pretty confident in the fact that almost no one on this website has listened to anything they do. if we’re talking about talent, they can play their instruments better than probably 90% of men.
the yeah yeah yeahs
mirah
bikini kill
le tigre
joanna newsom
sleater-kinney
sahara hotnights
bratmobile
i could go on forever. i, quite frankly, can barely stand to listen to male artists. sorry to say it, but you guys don’t have much representing you right now. most of it’s emo/screamo.
what do you listen to dick? dave matthews band??
March 26th, 2008 at 12:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: c4d026b819ad4
DethKlok.
-Dick
March 26th, 2008 at 1:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1ace054919063
joanna newsom is a fucking godess
March 26th, 2008 at 4:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: d653cff06dec4
This thread has attracted weirdo female baby boomers with their repugnant musical tastes.
No one gives a fuck.
Drink 100 wine coolers and listen to it and fall of a balcony, immediately.
March 26th, 2008 at 4:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: 30e7ebaf6ddf7
Hi there Son of the Suns… How’s your vitriolic nonesense going?
March 26th, 2008 at 5:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 950b5a29163c5
Do you even know what vitriolic means? Women should stop trying to give the appearance of intelligence by using big words when they can’t even spell the simple words (like nonsense).
March 26th, 2008 at 5:41 pm - IP Man-Hash: 299031866670c
Are you fucking kidding me? A 10 year old kid could play what she plays. You wouldn’t recognize talent if it came on your face.
Let me point you to some talent right here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1cNJy8d7qo
March 26th, 2008 at 6:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 299031866670c
Erin,
the yeah yeah yeahs - probably the most generic band I’ve ever heard.
mirah - are you kidding me?
bikini kill - sorry, shitty punk won’t do it.
le tigre - they are off beat in concerts. Real talent right there.
joanna newsom - should seriously keep her mouth shut.
sleater-kinney - I thought bands would have to know more than 5 chords to get signed. Seriously.
sahara hotnights - Don’t get me started, they are a shame for my country.
bratmobile - Talk about bland shit.
Why do you have music?
March 26th, 2008 at 6:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: 299031866670c
That should be “Why do you hate music?”, sorry gents.
And Erin, you proved Dicks point more than any of us could have.
March 26th, 2008 at 8:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: d653cff06dec4
How’s your masturbation fantasies of me going?
March 26th, 2008 at 11:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7288b00e588db
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…..they’re a cartoon! hahahhahah.
March 26th, 2008 at 11:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7288b00e588db
mmm….i like steel reserves and natural light, actually. thank you. cheerlearder beer just doesn’t do it for me.