Lynne Spears’ Parenting Book, Chapters 1-5
I cannot stress how genuine I am in what I’m about to say. Lynne Spears — Britney Spears’ mother — writing a parenting book will do more for parenting than Dr. Spock, flame retardant clothing, and the VCR combined. Lynne Spears writing a book on parenting could single-handedly end the profession of stripping.
Imagine if the biggest loser in the world wrote a book on how to get laid.
Imagine if Michael Jackson wrote a book on brand management.
Imagine if Hilary Clinton wrote a book on how to keep your husband from finger-banging fat pigs behind your back.
Imagine if one of the worst parents in the world wrote a book.
If you have a daughter and you don’t want her to grow into a greasy, pregnant whore, read Lynne Spears’ book and do the opposite of everything it says.
Through some hillbilly amalgamation of and hooch and ether fumes, Lynn Spears has managed to raise some of the worst female role models in history. She has plumbed the depths of poor parenting in a most spectacular way and come up swinging. I, for one, can’t think of a better arena for her personal insights into the world of knocked-up catastrophes than a parenting advice book. In fact, I can see the chapters now.
Chapter 1: Mountain Dew. It’s Got What Babies Need.
Don’t feed your baby Mountain Dew instead of breast milk.
It may come as a surprise to women, but breasts aren’t only meant to score free drinks at T.G.I. Friday’s. Breasts are also meant to nourish young. Hillbilly mothers feed their babies Mountain Dew instead of breast milk for the same reason they don’t put their kids in car seats. They don’t fucking care. Trailer trash pop divas can pump out kids just as fast as their slovenly sisters. You can take the womb out of the trailer park, but you can’t take the trailer park out of the womb.
What else but maternal apathy could explain letting your daughter miss a bunch of fucking court dates and mandatory drug tests. Chapter one in Lynne Spears’ new parenting book must include such gems as, “Fuck court. It’s not like they can take your kids”, “Why dogs are better than babies” and, “Car seats? Who needs em!”
Chapter 2: Finding the Right Baby Daddy
Under no circumstances should you find a “baby daddy”.
Finding a good “baby daddy” is like finding a 1960 tobacco sunburst Les Paul for under 300 dollars. I have only seen it once and it was broke as shit.
The only problem a man isn’t the answer to is, “What the fuck am I supposed to do with this baby?” Fuck you. Give it to the state. At least orphans have less chance of going to prison than kids raised by divorced mothers.
Chapter 3: Be yourself.
Do not be yourself. Especially if you’re a woman.
Being yourself as a woman means sleazy, amateur porn videos, and violent outbursts and screaming tantrums that take place somewhere WC Fields used to vomit. That’s desecration of a penistorical manument.
Chapter 4: The Difference Between Sexy and Slutty.
The difference between sexy and slutty is the difference between a mini-van and a Lexus. They both get you where you want to go, one just costs a lot more and you can’t fit as many guys inside of it.
If you don’t want your daughter to have the reputation of World’s Second Biggest Whore, or your other daughter to get knocked up before she can vote, make sure you especially do not follow the advice in this chapter. If Lynn Spears gave her kids a stuffed Grover when they were small, hang a stuffed Grover from a tree in your front yard and light it on fire.
Chapter 5: Pregnancy. It Can Happen to Anyone!
No it can’t. It can only happen to dumb-fucks who don’t know how to look in their date’s purse to make sure she’s taking birth control before they fuck her without a condom. Condoms are stupid. Evel Knievel didn’t use them and neither do I.
One more baby fixes everything.
Any book on mothering written by the mother of a skinhead deemed unfit by the government to babysit her own children despite millions of dollars in royalties, merchandising, and shit, would be a compendium so rich in parenting anti-advice, it should be distributed for free by hospitals. Polio vaccines may save lives, but 26 years of fuck-ups in 200 pages saves you from seeing your daughter on a pole.
Don’t ask a man which he would rather have if you don’t want to hear a scary answer.
Unfortunately, Lynne Spears’ parenting book was swallowed by the gravity of its own hubris. Due to the illegitimate, teenage pregnancy of her second, forgettable daughter, the book was postponed indefinitely.
Comment below if you would like to see this book rushed into production.
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Interesting site, it’s fantastic to know that is how the days of the men and women on this site is spent, looking up yet another chauvinist site.
I am agnostic, so I do not hate God, I simply doubt Him, and the sense that women could be stoned for having sex before marriage, while the male gets no form of punishment does sound like a great place to live.
Feminists are not against the family, feminists probably have families.
I cannot say all feminists love families, because some probably don’t have families, as I don’t have my own family, though I don’t consider myself a feminist.
I must be honest, I did not read the entire thing, this website’s fictional thoughts are enough for me, I do not need to read another.
But is the idea of a shared income that frightening? Does the idea that the man cook and clean also seem far-fetched? You realize that I said “also” meaning that the woman can share responsibilites, such as maybe the chores be switched daily or weekly, hence the word “equal”.
To make this post come to an end, thank you for showing me another website, when it shows no different thoughts than this one, but it is nice to know I can have a variety of websites.
All women are whores.
I sincerely hope that feminism starts heading back the other direction.
For you Hilary: http://www.angelfire.com/realm3/jtest28/Feminization_of_the_Family.htm l
Women arent realizing their potential, they are stealing it. From men, children, and themselves.
Then why are you bothering replying then? Or why did so many women come here after seeing Dick on Dr. Phil to tell him how small is penis is? In light of those things you’re not making sense.
Actually, it is not. It’s stagnating and struggling to find new ways to redefine itself into something relevant and regain momentum. The latest wave seems to be empowerment through self-degradation, and is actually undermining the success of previous waves by removing it’s credibility not only in men’s eyes, but many many self respecting women’s eyes as well.
I don’t know you personally, so cannot judge whether you fit in with the disgraceful crowd, but it seems you rather much fit in with the clan of intelligent trolls whom seek to incite reactionary responses whilst maintaining a visage of calmness. You most certainly have an agenda of subtle confrontation.
LadyXX is something of an anomaly in that she’s more a result of what can happen to an intelligent woman whose grown jaded to the point of utter disgust and contempt for the behaviour of her own gender.
Look to VictorianLady at ladylessons for an example of what women are slowly returning to. I dare you to fault her perceptions of the world, her capacity to gain professional respect without having had things handed to her on a silver platter of entitlement, or the fact she has managed to be a truly self-empowered woman whilst maintaining all of her class and self-respecting lady-like manners.
If by potential you mean gaining undeserved things through quotas and demands based purely on “evening the representation score-sheet” that’s not much of a “potential” to aspire to or be proud of. If you mean the potential to gain attention by removing one’s clothes, well, that was realised thousands of years ago I’m sorry. If you mean the potential to be somebody on the strength of your own merits, sadly I think you’re mistaken. This message is being lost to women of our era in the storm of hyper-sexuality and entitled demands.
Again not true. The number of women who feel incensed that men have a forum such as this to air their opinions is clearly indicative that women DO care what we have to say. (Not to mention gross hypocrisy in terms of the amout of media portrayal of derogatory male-stereotypes, let alone the websites dedicated to going a step further and not only making the reverse statement of this website, but rather arguing that men are utterly worthless.) Such defensiveness and shock to the feminist psyche which this website seems to attract clearly demonstrates women DO care what is being said.
As for examples of women whom have been swayed towards rethinking their own personal opinions regarding the differences between genders, I can think of several whose eyes have been opened by the content of this website. I will, however, defer to those enlightened women to speak out on this matter for themselves.
Apparently it isn’t because it is still rising.
If all women are a disgrace then don’t I just fit in with the clan?
Women are becoming less and less like your beloved Lady XX, we are realizing our potential, we simply don’t care what opinions you pass our way so keep on typing, it does not phase any of us.
Feminist sites ban anyone who speaks against their fucked up opinions. But we men let the truth be known so we have a honor system. You are disgracing this system and you are a disgrace to your sisters.
Feminism is going down.
Maybe I acn read, considering I am able to respond to whatever insults are thrown my way.
Besides, it isn’t written in stone, you can go on feminist websites when you please, they can’t stop you, shed some outdated ideas on them, as we do with modern ideas on this website
Maybe she can’t read. Or follow directions. Or both.
Well Michael if you are a man then Hillary Clinton is Abraham Lincoln in drag.
No man anywhere, anytime would say something as stupid, frivolous and as nonsensical as your statement. If you were a man, “michelle” you would know that at that age an involuntary erection would happen even if the young man was terrified and unwilling to participate.
I’m sure when I was young an older woman could easily have raped me and I would have had little say in the matter. This is known as a purely physiological response, just as a women may lubricate even if she is being forced to engage in sex against her will.
Notice the word logical embedded in the last sentence, something that you should accustom yourself to.
An older sleazy women taking my body for her pleasure would surely have grossed me out, as well as freaked me out. I would not have felt lucky, I would have felt ripped off. My fantasies as a young man involved girls my own age, I’ve seen Summer of ‘42 and didn’t want to go that route.
P Coderch is dead on, the innocent little girl vs. evil perverted violent male sterotype has got to go and go now.
The law is a bitch
The issue here is that everyone is ok with a grown woman screwing an adolescent boy because teen boys are all horny rascals and thus they wanted it - some people go as far as saying that she did him a favor! -, while the man who has sex with an underage girl is a pervert, because teen girls are all innocent and she was obviously seduced byt he bastard, etc. My point is that the law is the law, except that in many cases the law only applies to men.
P Coderch
leik omg!! no1 haz evar sed dat b4!~!1oneonelimx->0(sinx/x)
Haha, I haven’t heard about that.
That is a case of double-standard on women’s part, I agree.
If I can just clear the air of why I have posted under two names.
If you were to look under the “Germaine Greer” topic, someone I showed this website to changed my name to Hilary and posted several things. I didn’t realize that she did, and posted a few things under Hilary by accident, because I don’t take a second glance at my post. So after having a few posts by Hilary, I figured that I would just stay with Hilary, which is why Karen hasn’t been around (as you have figured out).
Other than that, your post is well written.
Michael I don’t know what to say about your post. Confusing. Sex with a minor is sex with a minor. Regardless of which gender perpetrated the act.
He wasn’t getting into the rape argument. He was stating women walk away from statuatory rape all the time while guys get sentenced. Now that’s a fucking double standard.
You do realize it says No women allowed right?
P Coderch, I don’t know you but I found your post intriguing. I am a male and I would say that I agree with the poster called “Female”. A man can fuck a woman and she can have little say in the matter, however, for a woman to fuck a man, the man has to be into it and be fucking her back.
Double standards?
Most women are.
Yes, indeed. Remember when that 14 year-old boy got the 27 year-old teacher pregnant, and how all the feminits wanted him to get a job to support his kid and pay allimony for him? None of the feminists were angrily demanding that the teacher be arrested and prosecuted for committintg the crime of having sex with a minor. This is the double-standard: a grown man who gets an underage girl preganant will be arrested, jailed for the next 20 years for statutory rape and, if the girl decides to have the child, he’ll have to pay allimony for the next 18 years while in jail. But if a grown woman fucks an underage boy, it is because he “wanted it”" and the fact that what she did was illegal is irrelvant. Just ask “Female”. Teh bitch is the queen of double-standards.
P Coderch