Mr. Knight’s Shining Armour Provided By Botany 500
There are few things in life that will cost you more Man Points than locking your keys in your car. Running for any reason is one of those things because men do not run. We take care of business with due diligence and direction, but also without a flagrant lack of self respect. Unless we’re talking about last call here. In that case running is totally fine.
Holding the door open for another man instead of flipping it outwards at the last second? Yep, that will cost you even more Man Points than running. And fumbling in your pocket for your keys at the car instead of having them out well before hand would be even worse.
One of the most flagrant fouls and most expensive of loses of Man Points, however, would be not locking your own keys in your car, but someone else’s. And that is exactly what I did this weekend in a Hindenburg sized catastrophe of burning Man Points. Angels wept and the heavens opened forth in shame as the door’s vacuum seal closed shut behind me. Truly I have never felt so bad.
Thank goodness they don’t let women work at the Auto Club — or else we’d all still be sitting in the fucking parking lot waiting for the lady locksmith to unlose herself.
Much to my surprise when I checked with the Auto Club I found they have no official anti-women hiring policies on the books. They also denied having any such tacit practices of gender discrimination. Peculiar, I thought. Then why is it that a woman will never get out of the tow truck with the weekend saving Slim Jim or with the magic box of Energon to resurrect a dead battery that has been pumping after hours “Jamz” in the local Community College parking lot?
The reason can’t be that women don’t know shit about cars. Women don’t know shit about law, politics, or sex and that doesn’t keep them from being lawyers, politicians or sexually abusive high school teachers all over the news recently — even though they suck at all three of them (Man Pun intended). So why are there no women in the Auto Club?
I’ve come to the conclusion that women don’t believe in the Auto Club. Much in the same way that men do not believe in the tooth fairy or talking cheese or tantric sex. To women the idea of an auto assistance association is pure fantasy. The theory does more than explain why women never pick up the fucking phone and call for a tow themselves. Sure she could call, but in her mind that would be like writing a letter to Santa Claus. If anything came of it, it would just be a coincidence.
Women don’t believe in the Auto Club because none of them have solved a problem in their entire lives. They think the entire process of fixing what is broken is all in the realm of mysticism and fantasy and, if they were ever inclined, would look for manuals on car repair in the perpetually bankrupt bookstore in the old part of town between the forgotten tombs of “Increase Your Goddess Power With Crystals” and “Lose Twenty Pounds Talking About How Fucking Great Yoga Is”.
Nagging someone until they put a sweater on doesn’t count as solving a problem. It’s not even preemptively problem solving. It’s just being a pain in the ass. A woman solving a problem is a woman shouting obnoxiously while letting her disaster fixed imagination run wild and calling herself Mary Poppins all the fucking while while everyone else did the opposite. If there was a women’s version of the Auto Club, it would be some crazy broad making a daily stop at your house to shackle a ten pound iron ball with your car keys super glued to the side to your ankle.
Viable. That’s another word that no woman has ever known or used.
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I see, you’re still at the level of name calling. That’s fine, you insufferable prat.
?? Still the same in reverse, “Professor”.
You called Female a cretinous cow, thinking that was who astromuffy was.
Your posts might also have more honesty if you didn’t try and weasel out of what you actually say.
No, you equally silly cow, I suggested she might be. Moreover I suggested Astromuffy was Female, not the reverse.
(I had to laugh when I saw you backing up her “logic”).
She owes me an apology for calling me a liar or did you miss that little tidbit? I called her a cretinous cow after being called a liar. Your posts might have more honesty if you noted such facts.
I tend to be fairly polite to women on this site — though I admit sometimes I’m in a bad/tired mood, and I am less courteous. That said, I think I’m considerably more courteous than, say, Dick.
Astromuffy resembles Female in that both would attempt bizarre inane (often psychology-based) citations that were ludicrous attempts at injecting pseudo-science into a debate. Astromuffy even lied about this, denying my google fu. (I’ll link the thread if I have to.
Female also somewhat poisoned the well of my acceptance at this site by repeatedly showing up in different guises to throw more chaos into the mix.
I would owe an apology to Astromuffy for *one* thing and it would be conditional. It is possible — barely possible — that she was genuinely attempting to be logical, rational, and use good science. That would mean that she was either poorly educated, incompetent, or stupid, but neither devious nor malicious.
I have trouble believing this, given her behaviour. Malice seems a given.
If, however, she was genuinely attempting to engage in rational dialogue, then I’m sorry I mistook her stupidity/lack of education/incompetence for malice.
-wolfe
You thought Female was astromuffy. You owed her an apology for mischaracterisation, calling her a cretinous cow and more. You didn’t give it or admit you were wrong. You have just insulted Anon.
Your opinion is now worth less than zero.
Actually Samantha and Alex aren’t that bad. Astromuffy and Anon (both bearing a suspicious resemblance to a panda-loving dolphin-marrying person from our antipode) are much worse.
The racist thing came about when I pointed out she had (I totally accept her characterization of it as inadvertant) linked a neo-Nazi hosted site. She stated she was unaware; I believe her.
Sam, sorry you got the somewhat undeserved (other than being a woman posting on this site) force of Dick Masterson. If you do indeed F-off the site, you seemed a reasonable representative of your gender. Take care.
-wolfe
Technically, he wrote and you’re reading, and viceversa, and so on. Flatulence does not confer well via TCP/IP.
DICK said:
Then I’m a maggot-ridden prick who knows the definitions of the fucking words he uses. Jesus Christ. You speaking is like a child just scribbling away on construction paper. Fuck off my site, Samantha.
“I don’t believe in raciscm!”
What in the name of fuck are you talking about?
At least you admit you are a maggot-ridden prick, now admit that you are worthless! And you “speaking” is like having to listen to someone with perpetual flatulance, and smells twice as bad! I will now glady fuck off your pathetic site!
-Dick
Then I’m a maggot-ridden prick who knows the definitions of the fucking words he uses. Jesus Christ. You speaking is like a child just scribbling away on construction paper. Fuck off my site, Samantha.
“I don’t believe in raciscm!”
What in the name of fuck are you talking about?
-Dick
You can’t not believe in racsism, you stupid cunt. Just like you can’t not believe in the Ford Pinto. It fucking exists.
-Dick
Let me rephrase my statement then so as to better explain it to a dimwit like you: I am not a racist.
You worthless, maggot-ridden prick!
Or, as Samantha would call it, the Ford Pinsto.
-Big Al
You can’t not believe in racsism, you stupid cunt. Just like you can’t not believe in the Ford Pinto. It fucking exists.
-Dick
Respectable people are allowed on this site?
-Big Al
Abaddon_fff, I don’t think you hate women, as a matter of fact, you are one of the most respectable people on this site. I meant that a few of the men on here act hateful toward women, I didn’t say that they actually hated women.
Only certain types of women see us as ‘women haters’. Its normally those women who expect men to behave like prince charming by prostrating before every ‘goddess’ that passes by no matter how self-centered or bitchy they may be.
Samantha,
I would like to see exactly where anything I said could even be construed as “hating women”. Whats saddening to me is that many women use this canard, in order to stop a meaningful debate. I don’t know how many times I will have to say this but me and many other posters on this site don’t hate women.
-Strength and Honor-
No prob. Stormfront is a well known neo-nazi site. Check out the main url http://www.stormfront.org (not giving them an actual link since I don’t want them tracking back to this site). I don’t know about the people they host, but I’m not going to hold my breath wading through the sewer.
Regards,
-wolfe
I apologzie, I wasn’t aware that “Caveman Al” was a racist. I thought that he was only a male chauvinist. I’ve read through his site and I’ve never seen anything racist on it. I most certainly do not believe in racsism.
Samantha, you link to Stormfront.org, a “White Pride” website. Please don’t link racist crap like that. I don’t care if they agree with a few things I say (or disagree); the views of racists are anathema to me.
Secondly, no, most men on this site do not act “hateful[sic]” towards women. Yes, we do tend to give new posters short shrift; that’s probably not entirely fair, but it’s not hateful.
-wolfe
sonyad, what the hell are you babbling about? Who’s “hating for the most meaningless of reasons”? All I’m pointing out is that most of you men on this site act hateful toward women, and it’s the truth!
Such frivolous creatures most women are. Why would you hate samsung batteries? Because DuraCell batteries last longer? Perhaps it is the way your gender naturally operates, assigning blame and proceeding to hate for the most meaningless of reasons. But don’t assume men are the same dough only by virtue of guilt by association under humanity blanket.
Most of you men on this website (including the webmaster) are so hateful toward women. Too bad you can’t be more like this male chauvinist:
http://cat4.stormfront.org/~ilove/c_corner/