Mr. Knight’s Shining Armour Provided By Botany 500
There are few things in life that will cost you more Man Points than locking your keys in your car. Running for any reason is one of those things because men do not run. We take care of business with due diligence and direction, but also without a flagrant lack of self respect. Unless we’re talking about last call here. In that case running is totally fine.
Holding the door open for another man instead of flipping it outwards at the last second? Yep, that will cost you even more Man Points than running. And fumbling in your pocket for your keys at the car instead of having them out well before hand would be even worse.
One of the most flagrant fouls and most expensive of loses of Man Points, however, would be not locking your own keys in your car, but someone else’s. And that is exactly what I did this weekend in a Hindenburg sized catastrophe of burning Man Points. Angels wept and the heavens opened forth in shame as the door’s vacuum seal closed shut behind me. Truly I have never felt so bad.
Thank goodness they don’t let women work at the Auto Club — or else we’d all still be sitting in the fucking parking lot waiting for the lady locksmith to unlose herself.
Much to my surprise when I checked with the Auto Club I found they have no official anti-women hiring policies on the books. They also denied having any such tacit practices of gender discrimination. Peculiar, I thought. Then why is it that a woman will never get out of the tow truck with the weekend saving Slim Jim or with the magic box of Energon to resurrect a dead battery that has been pumping after hours “Jamz” in the local Community College parking lot?
The reason can’t be that women don’t know shit about cars. Women don’t know shit about law, politics, or sex and that doesn’t keep them from being lawyers, politicians or sexually abusive high school teachers all over the news recently — even though they suck at all three of them (Man Pun intended). So why are there no women in the Auto Club?
I’ve come to the conclusion that women don’t believe in the Auto Club. Much in the same way that men do not believe in the tooth fairy or talking cheese or tantric sex. To women the idea of an auto assistance association is pure fantasy. The theory does more than explain why women never pick up the fucking phone and call for a tow themselves. Sure she could call, but in her mind that would be like writing a letter to Santa Claus. If anything came of it, it would just be a coincidence.
Women don’t believe in the Auto Club because none of them have solved a problem in their entire lives. They think the entire process of fixing what is broken is all in the realm of mysticism and fantasy and, if they were ever inclined, would look for manuals on car repair in the perpetually bankrupt bookstore in the old part of town between the forgotten tombs of “Increase Your Goddess Power With Crystals” and “Lose Twenty Pounds Talking About How Fucking Great Yoga Is”.
Nagging someone until they put a sweater on doesn’t count as solving a problem. It’s not even preemptively problem solving. It’s just being a pain in the ass. A woman solving a problem is a woman shouting obnoxiously while letting her disaster fixed imagination run wild and calling herself Mary Poppins all the fucking while while everyone else did the opposite. If there was a women’s version of the Auto Club, it would be some crazy broad making a daily stop at your house to shackle a ten pound iron ball with your car keys super glued to the side to your ankle.
Viable. That’s another word that no woman has ever known or used.
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Sure they did, I have an Aunt that helped and Hitler had women working because of the man shortage. That was before feminism and the government needed women for other purposes than destroying families. Today women get their nails dirty? Ha, how dare you to suggest such. Women were much better people way back before feminism reared it’s ugly mug.
Most women suck as people
If you take a look into history. In 1942 women built the B-17 Bomber at the Douglas Aircraft Company.
Why is she still allowed on here?
–Strength and Honor–
Fuck off, Female.
-Dick
Sonyad, I think that is the first time any male here has acknowledged that or regretted it. That is very admirable of you. Thank you.
lol, yes they do. Especially when you call steering wheels, pretzels. Re: your own rudeness, maybe it was unwarranted, maybe it wasn’t, I can’t remember. Most of the time you seem sweet. I hope you don’t take that as demeaning, it isn’t.
Female posters to this blog tend to be shown little quarter. Female especially has had rudeness thrust upon her here. This is regrettable.
I like to think I, at least, am not unwarrantedly rude most of the time. However, my powers of jest and mockery exceed that of run of the mill mortal.
You’re entitled to your views, and I support you posting them here if that’s your desire. I don’t think it should be, as I don’t think the views you are expressing show you in a good light. The rest is up for others to debate.
-wolfe
Right. I’ve only just seen this rudeness.
No, you’re the idiot. I didn’t say you would take the discussion there so that you could use mod powers to influence the discussion. Rather, if you cared to read correctly, then you would realise that what I said was that it may appear that way if you moved the discussion there.
Come again? Something about unwarranted criticism? How ironic. And I didn’t even criticise you.
Are you sure?
Ever heard of two feet and a heartbeat? Use ‘em.
No, again, you come across as an idiot because if you care to reread my post, you would perhaps realise that I didn’t even criticise Biff! Jesus.
Sick of these constant bloody attacks from you.
Yeah I’ve been away a day or two.
OK first. Biff. Thanks for your service. That is a fact I’ve never heard, and I’ve friends who fly Apaches, but admittedly few ground-pounders. Yes here’s a new thread on Politik is where this must go.
Female, you’re an idiot if you think I’ll use Politik as moderator to have any more influence. I bend over backwards to be fair to the opposition there. Did I or did I not institute a set of rules that I asked (and Dick agreed) all to abide by to refrain from attacking you there?
It’s insulting, and, were I a woman, it would be hurtful, to have you criticizing me in that baseless fashion. As a man, I can take it, but I might need a beer. Or tea.
Now, Female, you came off as an idiot when you criticized Biff; sorry you did. That said, you came off as a polite and respectful idiot so no one — even Dick — should trash you. Your postings recently have become more respectful and logical and should be respected as such. But please, please, strive to make them so. Think… ‘would I still do this at 7am?’ whenever you post.
That said, the idea of retreating and using snipers? Trust me, you don’t know much about how war works, and it’s a good thing you weren’t in command.
Biff: thanks for the support on the Vincennes incident.
Yeah, further talk on this topic needs to go to http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/forums/post-5062.htm#5062
-wolfe (hoping this displays ok, I seem to have crashed Dick’s interpreter)
Dont ask me. Parachuting pandas and detonating dolphins are your area of expertise Fem.
Sorry Big Al, but dolphins are involved. Ask Geeza if you don’t believe me.
Also female Viet Cong fighters were probably involved in war long before any American female military officers graduated, and I don’t think feminism in Vietnam had much, if anything, to do with it. Some women would be capable in war..I may not be one of them, though out of necessity, I probaby could be, hopefully that will never happen. In any case, each to her own.
A man wouldn’t think of doing that, Fem. Because the crew is like, you know, in a TANK.
No shit?
That’s why when it comes to the shooting part of war, Fem, they don’t generally let women get involved. Some women think that’s not a good idea.
They don’t let pandas and dolphins get involved, either.
For much the same reasons.
-Big Al
Also,
That is unbelievably sick. Thank you for sharing that but I am totally shocked and disturbed.
Okay. I think I would have turned the tanks around and retreated, then if possible, from the side, sent out snipers to shoot those driving the tanks. Though, I’m not sure how to get a bullet through the armoured metal. Maybe shoot through the drivers window. If possible, I would call a satellite to send jamming signals to the enemies tanks to get them to stop and be incapable of firing.
If retreat wasn’t an option and the only option was to either not fire and then get myself blown up, or fire and kill the civilians and tanks….OMG, that is the worst moral dilemma I have ever come across…I think human instinct to preserve oneself would override the cognitions that you were also about to kill civilians, in which case, there is no blame or dishonour in that.
God, if you had to make that decision and do that Biff, I am truly sorry, how unbelievably awful.
dudu, dudu, du, du, du.
Come home from where? If you are suggesting Iraq, then that would be inappropriate because the US launched the attack there; they didn’t get invited to go there by the UN to help the country out.
Sure, if they were invited to help out and just ended up causing more problems or if they simply decided to help out voluntarily, with a similar result, then yes, they should leave. But that wasn’t the case. If they leave Iraq now, you will find that the problem which is trying to be contained will spread further afield. Then there really will be something strange in your neighbourhood….hmmm, is that why you have an artillery bunker?
I am responding with the full anticipation wolfe will move this to Politik.
It has been said the only thing limiting the US military is the US military. The main reason Bagdad is still standing is not from a lack of ability but rather a lack of command. America’s enemies do not have this same level of internal control.
As an American who served in the Army it is frustrating to hear our missions denigrated in world opinion and by the American press. I know first hand the lengths our soldiers go to limit civilian damage. In Somolia’s “blackhawk down” incident one possible easy solution would have been to bring in armour and start making ever-widening circles around the downed aircraft. Continue until proper fields of fire exist. Imagine the peripheral damage? As a result that option was not even considered. In fact heavy armour was not even brought in because of possible civilian harm.
During the end of the Iraq/Kuwait conflict the remaining Republican Guard started to tie kurdish women and kids to their tanks so we would not fire on them. The heat signature of a person stood out in sharp relief to the turret at 2km. It was quite evident what they were doing. The thermal images confirmed what our intel was telling us. The T-72 has an engagement range of 1.7km and they were coming toward us. Ethically I had every right to order the fire command. Any civilian casualties would have been the fault of those animals who put them in harms way. I really want to know, (anyone) what would you have done in that situation?
To me the navy captain who ordered the missle strike against an unknown (possibly hostile) aircraft quickly approaching was in a similar situation. He had about 30 seconds to make the call. If he is wrong his ship and all crew face what was a preventable attack. In a perfect world he could have monitored the civilian air traffic control and asked who was flying in his direction. But he did not and had to make decisions based on available intel. It was the epitomy of shortsightedness not to have that capability. The fault lies more with the instigators than with those reacting.
The problem is bigger than simple soldiers on the ground making difficult choices. The foundational problem is: should the US be involved in the first place. My answer is absolutely not. That includes Rowanda, that includes Kosovo. Any more I don’t care how many burned and mangled corpses they show on the evening news. Some idiot somewhere made a stupid mistake that caused the issue du jur, and it wasn’t me.
Even now with Israel and whoever doing whatever the cry has gone up for the US to do something. Someone explain how a couple groups of people killing each other over a land mass smaller than New Jersey is my problem? Why yes, that does suck. But it does not answer why I should be involved.
Bottom line: I would like nothing more than for the US military to take about a week to say goodbye and come home en mass. Likewise the UN can take about a week to pack up and find a home elsewhere cause the US ain’t playing any more. If anyone needs help they can call…
Shut the fuck up, Female.
-Dick
If you are the Mod of that forum, it may be perceived as biased if you move it there. Would be better to keep the discussion here in order to maintain impartiality and neutrality and avoid what may be unwarranted claims of Forum bias/censorship etc.
Yes, I admitted that my knowledge of history, or wars, in particular is pretty sparse.
A man told me the other day that Kuwait used to be a part of Iraq, so that when Saddam invaded, he was attempting to take back Iraqi oil fields.
Like I said, I’m pretty ignorant in this area. My knowledge of 1990 war extends to Jarhead and the Three Kings.
Luka: I 50-75% agree with you, hence my reference to the US’s deplorable Latin American policies. The past propping-up or Noriega fits into that. You’re quite right: I shouldn’t have cavalierly said “ditto” on the ‘good guys winning’. I still lean to the view that Panama was a + on strategic and local terms, but I’d agree that the history of US intervention was indeed a mess. It was a weak point for me at best, and one I shouldn’t have made. Thanks for calling me on it.
Sony, what you say is silly. The sarcasm isn’t appreciated.
No it wasn’t remotely chivalry and honour. It was wrong, deeply so. At best it was a horrible mistake. You know I’m not arguing that it was chivalry and honour so I don’t know why you put those words in my mouth.
The US does a lot of wrong, though we probably disagree on what some of that is.
Yes, the USN and the Royal Navy are generally ‘forces for good’. Doesn’t mean they don’t make mistakes, or do bad things.
The world would be worse without America; yeah, I believe that. If you choose not to, that’s your lookout. That said, most of her actions are founded in self-interest; some of them enlightened, some of them rather rapacious. Altruism? To some degree, such as the Marshall plan. But not very common, just as it isn’t very common with any country.
Americans can be bad-guys; people that are anti-American can be good guys. Quel surprise.
That said, yes, there is a sense of American Exceptionalism or the ’shining city on the hill’ as Reagan memorably (re)phrased it in Americans’ minds and in my mind that’s going to color American views. I can see you being very annoyed by that; I can see Australians, Britons, Canadians, and many others being quite annoyed. Fair enough.
I’m sorry you have to resort to sarcasm in our discussion, especially over such a sad incident. And if you want to talk about walking around points, well, you did just that.
Anyway, I won’t further discuss the matter here; I’ll repost to Politik if there are any further responses.
-wolfe
It’s so corny using P. S.
Wolfe. There’s really no point arguing with you. It really is an exercise in futility. Please, just drop it. You win. It was an act of chivalry and honour. Appropriate and called for. The US has not and can not do any wrong. All her actions are founded in altruism, good will towards men and generally fine intentions. HMNavy and the USNavy are ‘forces of good’. Americans are the ‘good guys’. Only non-Americans that are not America’s ‘friends’ and allies can be ‘bad guys’. The worlds would be a horrible place without America, etc. What ever you wish to add.
I am weary of all this stating the obvious only to have have to debate it with you as well.
You did say somewhere there would be no lost respect to be restored. Anyway.
I should have known better then to debate politics with an American. It’s a lose, lose situation.
Best regards.
“P. S.” (derogatory quote) I think the people of the island of Granada were grateful to the US as well. And the student hostages.