No Fat Chicks
A bunch of fatties got together recently and didn’t watch TV, didn’t throw back any pints, and didn’t injure their ACL’s in mantastic feats of weekend warriorism. What they did do was watch boring TV (most likely), talk about how much having “curves” defines them more than their shitty collection of porcelain cats (most definitely), and sweat gravy.
Yes that’s right, this bunch of porkers were women. Guess what they also did.
They invented the scholastic discipline of Fat Studies. What in the fuck?
What the fuck is the difference between Fat Studies and Women’s Studies? Don’t tell me it’s a study so nice they named it twice, like they seem to have done with eating and dessert. Also, don’t give me any bullshit about obesity being a universal problem. Men don’t have a problem with being fat.
That’s why we men invented money. So we’d still look attractive as shit with a hundred extra man pounds swinging around our skeletons. After all, sometimes a man needs to be fat. We all know it. Gravity herself isn’t enough to hold a man of proper brilliance against the face of this earth. Without a heaping helping of man love handles for her to grab hold of, a man of lesser stature and weight would go flinging off into space next time the world took a sharp corner. Gravity is a woman and I don’t care how much of that metaphor works.
Louie Anderson gets laid and he’s fat and ugly. What the fuck does Fat Studies have to say about that? Probably something stupid. Here’s how I know. Let me present the cast of players in the emerging field of Fatnomics:
Sheana Director
Stefanie Snider
Sondra Solovay
Marilyn Wann
Esther Rothblum
Susan Koppelman
Don’t Sheana Director’s name fool you; they’re all woman.
Are you fucking kidding me with this? You might be, but The New York Times, who have taken notice of this lethargic and jelly-filled movement, are not.
There is no difference between Women’s Studies and Fat Studies. That’s why I said it in the first place. I’m a man and my words are worth valuable moments of my man time. I don’t waste either. Being enormously fat is just women’s nesting instinct run horribly amok on an unsuspecting buffet. Those big, beautiful women going to town on Cheesecake like they’re tornados and raspberry starch is the farm from the Wizard of Oz — hording gobs of jelly like chipmunks stuffing nuts into their cheeks? That’s called being a woman. Just ask them. Real women have curves. Don’t tell me you didn’t see that horseshit movie.
Well I didn’t because I’m a man and I see movies like Lord of War and all the Fast And Furious ones back to back. Fuck, I’m thinking of seeing a movie right now and if I do, I’ll tell you what it won’t be about. It won’t be called Impotent Herman Works Out His Issues, because I’m a man and if I’m going to be spending my man time in some make-believe world where people have snappy come-backs all the time and no one got Herpes from anyone, it’s going to fucking inspire me. I’m a man and that’s what men look for in everything. Inspiration.
I’ll conclude with a question for — no I take that back. I present this as my doctoral thesis in the study of Fatology and Fatness:
What is the difference between a rapist and a hugely fat woman?
There isn’t one.
Make sure you print that degree on some expensive fucking paper.
Edit by Dick: Thanks to wolfe who brought this disaster to my attention in the Man Forums.
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Sounds like a bunch of lonely assholes here who can’t get laid, even by a fat bitch!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
What is so attractive about obese women anyway? They’re everywhere in my own hometown! Nothing makes me sicker than seeing some women walking around in cutoff shorts and their fat jello ass is practically dragging along the pavement!
Well, maybe uncooked onions would make me sicker.
But why do they prefer to look like that? Obviously, they hate men so they don’t need anyone to impress. Or maybe they sit at home and listen to too many McDonald’s commercials!
Hahahahaaha.
Fat bitches are cunt safety nazis cus their obese asses would be fucking lunch in the environment that Homonids evolved.
The elite’s coopting of civilization to the city away from the farms from which it is dependant on, was the beginning of every “ism” that destroys the powerful and makes them bow to the weak.
dirk, that might be the manliest post on this site.
Getting down on 12 chalupas indeed.
-Dick
I fuckin hate fat bitches, Always so god damn cautious, walking around trying to save the world, trying to care for shit your supposed to let die only because they wants some one to care for their fat ass. The only thing worse than these fucking pigs are these mother fucking “SAVE A HOES”. They’re the ones fucking fat chicks, building up there ego so that fat bitches can go out and ruin the world for normal people. A fucking “save a ho” will sell out any dude, these guys have no male friends because they view all other men as competiton when theres no one trying to compete with him for that love of a fat bitch . I just saw a fat bitch at taco bell getting down on 12 chalupas, and you know she complained about something because thats what fat bitches do, they complain because they’re to fat and weak to do shit for themselves. DONT PUT THE PUSSY ON A PEDAL STOOL, its just an open bloody sore !
It is possible that a woman borrowed the sarcasm from another website or maybe she has accepted the fact that “we are superior” to her and the rest of those who are dickless?
this site is the bomb
i been browsing all around it
Thanks, Sam. Now fuck off my website. No women allowed.
-Dick
A woman? Highly unlikely. Actual use of sarcasm, proper grammar, and correct spelling were evident in that post. None of those are characteristic of females who post on this site.
I just want to say that as a woman, I LOVE this website! It’s brilliant - you are all so much more superior to me. I bask in your glory.
love Sam
i dont like fat women
they have no control
i dont understand men who like fat women
i so dont like them
yuk
I find it sad. Repulsive, contemptible even, but sad nonetheless.
- Re-Flex - Ubap
This past Saturday night I accompanied my brother to a dance club, (his wife rarely allows his a “guys” night out) and as was expect there were many attractive members of the female sex shaking their bodies in all manner of ways. In addition to the dance floor, there was an elevated “cat-walk” with cages at either end where a woman can be lifted above her competitors and prominently display her only worth while qualities. (the floor of this cat-walk, having been designed by a man, was made of steel grating should an attractive woman be wearing a skirt.)
Shortly after I arrived a food sprung, splendid, specimen of bovine beauty, having squeezed her brachiosaurus sized legs into a pair of hide tight jeans; (which I am sure took two hydraulic winches to fasten closed around the immense vastness of her midsection and no doubt took the jaws-of-life and an eight man rescue team to get her out of.) and without heed of the possible nausea caused to on-lookers nor the structural integrity of the cat-walk. She hoisted her gargantuan body up the stairs, her hooves falling with thunderous results on each step. Once on the cat-walk she stampeded her way to the dance cage, the steel grating creaking in agony with every foot fall. She then began to shake her huge mass of a body in time with the music, the thick rolls of her belly fat springing loose from her shirt and moving as several flesh colored hula-hoops. Many of us who witnessed the grotesque display ran to the restrooms, our mighty man-stomachs unable to hold back the bile cause by the horror our eyes had seen. The whole time this bovine continued her dance in an attempt to attract a mate. She actually thought she was sexy!! I found it, from a behavioral stand point, quite astonishing.
- Oldone
Very true BMU, very true. I have seen people that are considered fat, however they’re in shape. However, I have seen quite a few people that REFUSE to acknowledge the fact that they wouldn’t be able to run a mile, much less up the stairs.
-Strength and Honor-
“Fat acceptance” and “realistic body image”, like most of feminism, is about getting a better “deal” for fatties and uggos - to force us regular guys to accept these nasties, while they expect to get alpha males with looks and money.
They just love seeing alpha males with fatties/uggos - this is what they consider an “equal” relationship (like Oprah and Stedmann, for example). Such pathetic guys who wind up in charity cases like this are most likely emotionally/mentally disordered… probably uggo/fattie fetishists who like obese women to shit on them.
So I say to all of you uggos and fatties, you dont need more “self esteem” - in fact you have too much. Feeling insecure and suicidal is exactly the correct emotion .. it is evolution telling your fat ass to “shape up” or “ship out”.
diamatik gets the wolfe funny of the week award.
Though I’m also disturbed…
-wolfe
Well, that’s true Gwallan.
Of course, with women there is the double standard. Fat broad always “fall in love” with Good Looking Guy and want him to “love her for what’s on the inside.” So, why doesn’t she find a fat man and to fall in love with what’s on the inside? the ugly chick wants a hot guy, but the hot guy ain’t supposed to care? Gimme a break!
Of course, all men want to fuck hot chicks. When you ask them, you aren’t going to get some bullshit, paradoxical answer.
Anyway, fat bitches annoy the bejezzus out of me. They’re all over!
Many people will insist on doing what they’re told not to do or what is impossible. Note how many women post here even in the knowledge that they’re not welcome.
Sometimes the easiest way to make something happen is to say it’s forbidden or impossible.
Just try to conceptualize the mechanics of it all, then you’d understand why not.
Why don’t fat broads just find fat dudes to fuck? That’s always drove me crazy. Fat chicks want to fuck guys that find them revolting. Why? Because these dudes like to fuck hotties with hard bodies, bot faces of mush.
Blech, man I’m nauseating myself. No excuses for fat bitches in this world.