Obvious Penis Envy
If you want to experience the pain in the ass of a woman using your bathroom, just take a bucket of water and throw it all the fuck over the place. Then drag a wet towel all over your house.
What the fuck is women’s problem? How can they remember to close the curtain every single fucking time they take their clothes off, but not when it means turning my bathroom into Crocodile Mile.
Women are retarded at the bathroom, and much less good at it than men. We’re faster first of all. That’s not because of some bullshit like washing their hair either. It’s what I call the Gab Factor. Even when no one is around, women take frequent five minute breaks to think about what they’d like to be telling someone about themselves. It’s like practice for the Bitching Olympics. It’s also why women are millennia behind men when it comes to doing. We have more experience. Those five minute breaks add up.
Here’s some man food for thought. Women’s laissez faire attitude about the bathroom, combined with their lust for wine coolers and an excuse to act like whores has combined to equal one very disturbing new trend.
Women using the men’s bathroom!
I shit you not that this is absolutely true. I have seen it with my own eyes: the drunkest and most attractive of the destitute forging her way through the doors marked Men Only (sound familiar?) with a vapid and self-righteous smile plastered all over her face — knocking down barriers of a patriarchal society and scoring another point for feminism and against decency all at the same time.
Very disappointing ladies. How inappropriate.
If women had any backbone I would be worried about this turning into some kind of cultural shift; wherein men are now responsible for women’s difficulties with going to the bathroom in a timely fashion. Just like men are responsible for all of women’s other fucking difficulties. Men have to pay child support. What the fuck is that? It’s pretty much the same thing: horseshit. Women always have the option of spreading their legs and shutting their mouths. That way the money isn’t a handout.
Like I said, I would be worried, but every women I’ve seen pull this hijink will get right back to their own line with a simple, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing.” Which is exactly how to solve any altercation with a woman.
What the fuck do you think you’re doing.
There is no question mark. There should be no answer.
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Wait, wait wait wait!
The subject of women and their goings on in the bathroom? That alone is a whole website of material right there. Women are completely inept at the activity. I’ve learned from personal experience, that a woman sees NO fucking problem with leaving their synthetic chemicals, synthetic powders, glitter\ sparkle…..glue…sticks, surgical instruments, eye liner sticks with the black gunk all over it, used Kleenexes, used q tips, dirty wash cloths, dirty towels, vanity mirrors (Primary and secondary in a bathroom that already fucking has a HUGE one…), several combs, hair dryer, curling irons, cups crusted with toothpaste, nail polish (both opened, and spilled) hair spray, deodorant, spilled perfumes, and USED FUCKING TAMPONS!!!!! (to name a few), scattered all throughout a bathroom THAT ISN’T EVEN YOURS. I get up and flip on the light to this scene of indescribable putrescence, and suddenly, pissing my fucking pants sounds like the logical decision.
Women will justify this behaviour by saying
”Oh, we do it for you…”
Fuck you, and fuck that bullshit. You do it for yourself to make you feel like a high priced whore, (vs a cheap whore) and so that you can compete with the other whores at who can create the illusion of being a high priced whore better. If you want to do something for me, clean my house. Make me a fucking sandwich, or wake me up to a blowjob.
Its a shame you even need to be told.
YES!! Fucking PRICELESS!!
My brother pees on the floor… haha
“damn get that pole out of your ass! ppl who feel the need to boast about how great they are, well, aren’t. cheers!”
Isn’t that feminism to a tee?
Yes, yes it is.
By the way, as a psychology student I feel I have the right to comment on the womb envy bullshit that people take so seriously. If you didn’t know (I’m speaking to women in particular because all men know this), womb envy was some crackpot theory devised by some mangina because the feminists were having a go at Freud for being “phallocentric”, the mangina , Carl Jung, came up with womb envy to get in their good books with a theory that places the blame on men.
So instead of women being envious of the penis, the man is apparently envious of the womb, and in their tiny little minds, they felt that had scored one for ‘equality’.
I have no idea why so many people take a cokehead’s (Freud) theory so seriously, and it seems a bit coincidental (not) that nearly every one of them is female.
WOMB ENVY?! whatever self hating piece of shit dyke lover thought that up was in fact a complete and total retard. i aint got no womb envy. I dominate wombs with my meaty staff of justice. God i hate bitches.
LOL. Another dumbfuck speaking. How surprising. You can’t be serious……
LOL. This is so retarded. You can’t be serious.
Women definitely have penis envy. I knew that when my smaller sister went crying to my whore mother asking why she didn’t have a peepee like me. My mother didn’t say anything, so I told her that it’s because girls are inferior so they have their peepees cut off when they are born to mark this inferiority, and then she cried again! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P Coderch
I wonder if she’ll come back and do just what I told her. Now that would be funny.
imeenwut
Not in the least.
You mean you aren’t amused already by her bullshit?
Ironic in the sense that you say others aren’t great because they say they are, but imply it yourself with that statement. Any person on this should should be able to pick up the implication: “I’m great because I don’t say it!” Bullshit. It’d be great for you to come up with a witty reply that has no relevance to your failure also. So why don’t you do that? Amuse me.
Get that pole away from your lips.
You spell women with a y. Clear penis envy.
damn get that pole out of your ass! ppl who feel the need to boast about how great they are, well, aren’t. cheers!
Is posting here really the highlight of your day? Wow, such an excitement the femme lifestyle is. I am pink with womb envy. Really, who needs sports, socializing, hiking, driving, competition, pragmatic fun… when you could do your nails and shit?
Or talk about how much your period sucks? Oh, God, what a roller-coaster of estrogenic fun your life is, gabbing to your friends who you would back-stab just as proudly? Or posting pictures of yourself half-naked on myspace and then trying to act half-dignint to your snickering colleagues the next day? Oh, woe is me, why did I ever have to be born into the stronger sex when I could have lived a mediocre life of melancholy and self-induced oppression?
Wait, I have a brain.
omg i read your article. that was cute and funny. total boyfriend rant. bbl for a reply
are we talking about toilet lids? i didn’t even read the article. my hunger is overwhelming me atm. um, i prefer to keep the lid down. there is better chi in the bathroom when you do that. i had a french friend stay with me one summer and she would always close the bathroom door when exiting. i thought that was a nice custom. who wants to walk past a bathroom and see a nasty toilet? not i.
I leave the lid up so visiting women to my house don’t get puke on the toilet seat cover while they purge their meal to keep themselves skinny.
I close the lid, but only because I kept throwing my fucking socks into the toilet.
-Dick
Name one good reason not to leave the toilet seat up?
Actually I leave it down and close the lid too, because it feels more hygienic but if I didn’t close the lid there is no way I would put the seat down.