Want to Know What a Million Looks Like? Ask a Man.

MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached one million hits this week, which is more hits than any stupid woman’s website has ever gotten. If you want to know what a million of anything good looks like: a million sales, a million dollars, a million fans, ask a man. If it’s not porno downloads or a divorce settlement, women have no business with a million of anything.

I have never been troubled by this silly “equality” thing and I’ll tell you why. Men own wealth. No matter how many Political Science degrees universities sell or how often the Guardian runs a diatribe on women and their eventual world take over, one thing will never change: women will never own wealth.

Women are wealth. They’re tacky, they’re overpriced, and their warranty sucks, but they’re still depreciating assets that can be purchased for a an amount directly proportional to their age and sex appeal.

Read an economics text book. Then, dump your girlfriend.

Women can’t own wealth in the same way a peanut butter and banana sandwich can’t eat another peanut butter and banana sandwich. They just get lumped together into a bigger sandwich. In the case of women, their income is converted into accessories that mean the difference between an airport lounge appletini and table service at the Ghost Bar.

Jobs, small business loans, and the wage gap can go fuck themselves. The richest 1% of the population will always own everything, and that richest 1% is a sausage party of men that’s never going to get broken up. Out of the top thousand billionaires in the world today, 5% of them are women. I didn’t research how many of those women are billionaires because of an inheritance, but I would estimate that it’s whatever percentage aren’t Oprah and the woman who wrote Harry Potter. There’s always room at the top for a real estate man-mogul or a world changing manventor, but at the moment, the world is all stocked up on emotional masturbation and stories about gay wizards.

I pity women like Oprah and the gay wizard author. Once a woman has money on her own, she can no longer be sexually attracted to men. Imagine what kind of hell that is for a woman. A woman with a billion dollars is like a man with a set of DD’s. Why would he ever talk to a woman again?

Women with their own money are confined to a life of pets, gossip, and spare tires.

I’ve heard of a book called “The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke,” and while I’m sure it’s full of a lot of great money managing tips for women — tips like “stop spending money” and “credit cards count as money”, I have a better financial planning tip for young women out there:

A career is not a man.

It doesn’t matter if a woman is a billionaire. I could teach a falcon how to walk on a leash or use a litter box, but wouldn’t we all like to see the falcon do what it was meant to do?

Wealth is not about statistics, it’s about the top 1%. While 100% of women are yammering like broken chainsaws about puppies and periods, the top 1% of men are running the world.

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