Pay, Pump, and Go.
I was pulling up to a gas pump yesterday that a woman was just leaving and when I got out of the car a shrill female voice shouted across the gas station, “What the fuck!” It was the very same woman who had just gotten back into her car and pulled away.
“Yea?” I said. She again repeated, “What the fuck!”
That’s how women solve problems. They stop whatever they’re doing and scream obscenities until someone refills their bottle. That’s also why little girls shouldn’t swear, because as they grow up, they’ll be frothing at the mouth to do so.
Obviously, the woman was upset because she was somehow not done with whatever she was doing that a man would have done in half the time.
“I thought you were done.” I said.
Another woman came out of nowhere and began comforting the first who was well in hysterics. After all, I had just robbed her of her due right to purchase gasoline exactly how and when she had envisioned doing so. Without a man’s sense of priority or perspective, this act was tantamount to me waltzing into her wedding, tipping over the cake, making gang signs in all the pictures, and then seducing her mother for the evening and not calling her the next day. Real class act basically, and all I did so far was open my car door.
The new woman instructed the other to use one of the many pumps around the other side of the petrol station.
“Hey!” I said clearly and deliberately as though I was addressing a rebellious mule. “I thought you were done.”
Like every man does in absolutely every situation, I fixed the problem immediately. I simply backed up and went to another pump. By the way, that’s a good strategy when it comes to dealing with women caught in the wild mania that they call their home — simply back up and go for another. It’s not like suffering any of her bullshit is going to win you an award or any fucking compassion. Women have the memories of goldfish.
I hesitate to make this article about how men are better than women at filling their car with gas, although it’s completely true. As I watched the completely normal — let me stress that again — completely normal woman whose make-believe logic and hysteria you encounter a hundred times every day, continue her grand gasoline purchasing adventure, I discovered two things.
Mistake number two was that she had pulled up to the pump on the wrong side, thus prompting her to back out in the first place. That explains the cursing, I thought. When women are embarrassed they will try to eviscerate everything that they can get their talons in — especially their own children.
Mistake number one was that a man gave her a set of car keys.
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Amaze.
Is it your opinion that men are also “amazed” by small children eating dirt?
-Dick
oldone, women go the the toliets together so we can have nice little chats and share each others makeup. Why does that amaze men so much?
Geezer, there is no need to tell us about your nightly mistakes in the wardrobe. It’s not the bathroom dear.
Oldone - I’ve never seen the term water-closet before. Would you mind telling me what country that term comes from? (My guess would be Britain.)
Bloody hell!!! Female, what kind of woman are you that you witness children using the water-closet?
“A child can do it and does not need a witness or assistance.”
I thought you had 2 x 17 year old daughters. Well if you do, you clearly left all of the child rearing up to your “former partner” otherwise you’d know that children when they are learning to use the toilet do need a bloody witness, in fact, unless they tell you when they are going and what they intend to do while there, they pretty much find it impossible to go. It’s like a really fucking big thing for them (learning control over something/themselves). Have you never heard of ziggy freud? Get theeself to the forums, post-haste.
Yes, another perculair behavioural pattern in that sex. I dont understand why they need help with such a simple task ?
A child can do it and does not need a witness or assistance.
What do they really do in there ?
You know what women are like with lesbians ?
oldone, I agree, it would be far preferable to be chauffaur driven everywhere by a man, or better yet, travel by helicopter, but what can you do?
Why women are allowed to drive is beyond my or any rational man’s power to figure out. If a woman has to use the water closet, she takes a friend with her. Why allow women to drive by themselves, when they cannot even shit by themselves. Unbelievable.
Chris, you’re a man. I’m sure you can figure it out on your own man-time.
Unless that’s the female version of Chris, in which case: fuck off my site.
-Dick
That is what I was expecting as well.
But if women’s brains are the crappiest vaults in the world and they can store anything in there for fuel for later, how exactly do they have memories like goldfish?
My imagination wandered to an alternate ending to this story…
Dick dousing this whore with $5 of premium gasoline and flicking a cigarette @ her…
This is an excellent point Dan. As the converse, I know when I’m strapped (legally of course), in a concealed carry state that I pay great attention to my driving, I don’t drink alcohol if in public, and I am very polite. The knowledge that I’m armed and anyone around me could be is a powerful inducement to be very peaceful. I’d far rather look like a wimp (or just a quiet guy) than get into a confrontation that can be avoided.
Women, of course, don’t have this. They have little fear of a disproportionate response to horrible behaviour on their part. They rely on a thousand generations of evolution to protect them.
You like how she goes straight to the cursing. She knows that it’s not going to come to blows so why not? I’ve conjectured that one of the main reasons you can never have a serious conversation with a woman about anything is because she usually knows you won’t hit her. When having a conversation with man on the other hand, it’s always in the back of your mind “if this guy gets too out of control, fisticuffs will commence.”
I particularly enjoy stories like these because they not only display the superiority of men in all tasks, but they also express how kind and compassionate men really are and what raging bitches women are. What the woman REALLY deserved was a punch in the face but, being a level-headed man, you recognized that the woman was behaving like an infant and took the mature way out. This really just goes right in the face of the idiot women who claim that men on this site “treat women badly”. No actually we treat them like fucking princesses compared to what they deserve to be treated like and they still don’t appreciate it. I guess I have to think of men and women having relationships similar to a parent-child one, that is, we have to watch them fuck up all the time and just deal with it.