Pets Are Not Children

Men are a lot like dogs. That’s right, that’s what I said. Talk to any woman about anything and eventually she’ll tell you exactly the same thing.

Men are dogs.

Of course, just like any other time a woman opens her mouth, she doesn’t have any fucking clue what she’s talking about. She’s right only because women vomit words from their mouths with such a frequency that eventually she has to be right, even though she’s probably contradicting something she’s just said, or possibly jibbering in a language she doesn’t know.

If men are dogs, then women are drunken parrots with The Home Shopping Network and a credit card on speed dial. That’s why men are better pet owners than women; because the only things women know how to do are squawk and peck.

Dogs are loyal, resourceful, and they have positive attitudes. They also don’t give a shit about being too clean because that is really neurotic and ruins the fuck out of the feel of an otherwise livable home.

What could be more man-like than that? Those kinds of man-traits, that men share with dogs as well as with all the other animals in the wild that have to make their own way instead of goldbricking on the couch day-in, day-out and conjuring up reasons why weddings are important enough to spend more than dick on — make men better pet owners than women. Hands down.

Let’s take a pet’s impact on others into account first. Because that’s how men behave. Rocking the boat is inappropriate unless it’s necessary to get the job done, and when owning a guinea pig or a Chihuahua it is fucking not.

How many times have you seen a dog in a sweater or in a purse? Probably not a lot, but when you did, you can bet your ass that a man didn’t do that. A man also has never had a bunch of pictures of his pets in his wallet or his Man Bag that he’s ready to whip out on the unsuspecting at a moment’s notice. Nor will a man tell stories about his pets that are not extremely humorous; because that’s a huge waste of everyone’s time.

That’s strike one for women, who will begin a show-and-tell tale at any random point over their pet’s lifeline and finish no one knows the fuck where because there’s no point to any of it anyway. No one gives a shit if the cat turns purple in the winter time or the hamster likes the raisins more than the sunflower seeds. Leave that kind of life sucking bullshit in the diary or the equally horseshit LiveJournal.

Here’s strike two. Pets are not babies. No matter how much women want everyone to think the pug in their lap has been brewing inside of them for nine months, it fucking hasn’t. It was a few hundred bucks and there’s like a billion of them. That means no one wants to see pictures of the ugly thing, no one wants to hear about baby’s first poop, and no agency is going to come haul anyone away if the fucker misses a few meals. It’s not a big deal.

I’m not even going to make the third point that men are better than women at being pet owners because men are better than women at taking care of things. Let me just say this. Men never complain about raising a baby do they? The midnight feedings, the constant crying; I’ve only ever heard those complaints come from women. Women who all complain about taking care of babies as often and as grandly as they can, like they’re all the Virgin fucking Mary — even if they don’t have any of their own! I don’t even know how that works.

It’s because taking care of babies or pets or classic cars comes naturally to us men. It’s our sixth sense. Our man sense. Our mighty man-empathy. The only thing women can empathize with is a cactus.

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445 Comments in 422 threads.»

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Comment by J
2007-08-09 23:21:41

Again, the more I read on this website, the more disenchanted I become with your gender. In a previous post, I compared you all to losers, retards and assholes.

My apologies to all losers, retards and assholes.

 
Comment by SJ
2007-07-30 18:35:03

A temporary sex-reassignment surgery of course *cough*. Is it true that I would lose part of my brain along with my man-parts by the way?

 
Comment by SJ
2007-07-30 18:27:09

Superior-to-women said:

It’s convienent that there is a double standard here. Women want equal pay, equal respect, equal recognition as men, but they don’t want equal treatment via the law. If a woman wants to kill a baby, it’s her choice, and she is “empowered” by it. If a man kills a baby, he goes to jail.

If women want equal treatment, prepare to get beat like men, go to jail like men, lose the house and kids like men, prepare to be treated like men. Until then, fuck off women.

Dogs are loyal, and who cares if they smell. That’s a part of the appeal. They aren’t afraid to get dirty, don’t give a fuck if they get mud all over the carpet, and are 100% loyal.

Now you tell me. I wasn’t aware it was legal to kill a baby by anyone at all. I would have gone ahead with the sex-reassignment surgery if I had only known…

 
Comment by hinomura
2007-07-29 12:17:37

to Superior-to-Women,
right the fuck on brother. I’m sick and tired of women complaining about unequal treatment. the only time they complain is when it equals out in their favor, never vice versa.

 
Comment by wolfe
2007-07-21 03:22:26

@Q-bert You’re off-base here. The person in question was obviously a man. Read his post again. The whole thing this time.

He was using humor, and contrasting the ‘nancy-seeming’ behavior of putting clothing on dogs (for those living in warm climates) with his marine corps service.

Calling him a murderer for such service is contemptible.

-wolfe

 
Comment by Q-bert
2007-07-20 22:39:34

AwesomeDoer said:

USMC Ret in Spokane said:
Also, to all the men and women here, after 24 years in the Marine Corps, if I want to put a f–king sweater on my f–king dog I’ll f–king do it. Anyone who objects needs to be reminded that I used to kill people for a living.

Again, women are the ones who resort to violence and threats. And what the fuck does being in the Marine Corps have to do with dog sweaters. What does anyone’s profession have to do with it? “I’m an Accounant, and if I want to fucking put a fucking sweater on my fucking dog, YOU CAN’T STOP ME. Might I remind you, I use a calculator for a living, watch out.”

By the way, how would you like it if someone threatened you? I guess you’d just shoot to kill, right?

I’m glad to see that you are proud to be a murderer. It warms my heart.

Almost as warming as the feeling I get when some pencil licking calculator jockey feels emasculated by those of us with manlier professions like killing people, cutting metal with fire (Welding), and cage fighting.

 
Comment by diamatik
2007-07-10 04:22:21

Lolerscaters, welcome to the site. You have just proven the reason for the existence of this site. We all endure the nonsense of women in the workplace, and have to suffer all the work while they ramble on all day about nothing and paint their fingernails but they still get paid every month because they can blow the boss.

 
Comment by Lolerscaters
2007-07-10 03:53:13

LOLERSCATER. I do not like women because they get paid the same as I do and never do anywork, also they will not have sex with me.

That is all.

I drive a forklift and have to lift heavy shit all night and sweat and all the rest of the manly stuff and the little girls sit around talking and get paid as much as I do.

Also they will not have sex with me.

That is not all.

They’re also stupid and lie too much and never make sense.

They also won’t have sex with me.

That is all

 
Comment by Doubt
2007-07-08 18:47:25

I’m sure you read it and lagh at it as you paint your nails and shave your twat for your in-crowd boyfriend. Hey, if you can’t love the sex, at least he can, fat-ass.
And hey, you chose to be born a little girl, too fucking bad. Do you think we give a shit (hint: no.) We’re too busy saving the world and building the next world-wonder to be occupied with your little girly-girl problems. Now why don’t you make a youtube video about how much periods suck as opposed to using the quota system to royally fuck everything up - and get paid for it.
Aww, it must be just so hard with this double-standard, being respected for finding an industrious man and mooching off of him. I hope that immense feeling of pride and accomplishment isn’t too much for you to handle, whore.

 
Comment by curious
2007-07-08 17:59:37

to entertained… sentence*
…cock

 
Comment by son of the suns
2007-07-05 19:06:28

Shut the fuck up.

 
Comment by Entertained
2007-07-05 14:09:41

AwesomeDoer,
I’m confused on your replies. So USMC Ret was a murder (Because you thought he was a woman) because of being in the military, Then you find out it’s a male so he isn’t a murder although he was in the military! You make no since what so ever!!!!

And to this: Let me just say this. Men never complain about raising a baby do they? The midnight feedings, the constant crying; I’ve only ever heard those complaints come from women.— When is the last time you saw a man wake up in the middle of the night with a child without his wife asking him to? Never…. The woman (Mother) is always the one that wakes up for the late night feedings. Men are lazy! Also, Mothers are the ones that can almost always get there child to stop crying.

Anyways, Other then that stupid and ignorant sentience… This is a very entertaining site!

 
Comment by Superior-to-women
2007-06-27 16:01:13

It’s convienent that there is a double standard here. Women want equal pay, equal respect, equal recognition as men, but they don’t want equal treatment via the law. If a woman wants to kill a baby, it’s her choice, and she is “empowered” by it. If a man kills a baby, he goes to jail.

If women want equal treatment, prepare to get beat like men, go to jail like men, lose the house and kids like men, prepare to be treated like men. Until then, fuck off women.

Dogs are loyal, and who cares if they smell. That’s a part of the appeal. They aren’t afraid to get dirty, don’t give a fuck if they get mud all over the carpet, and are 100% loyal.

 
Comment by pornscholar
2007-06-27 03:09:24

Yeah im going to say it im bisexual and dont feel its wrong and dont agree when you say its wrong. But let me tell it straight. Women are inferior to men. Always will be. When men cheat its so wrong. But when women cheat its because they are not loved. What the fuck. We need to go back to when we could decide what we want women to wear no matter how much or how little it is.

 
Comment by wolfe
2007-06-20 14:05:12

There’s an exception to every rule. And USMC Ret has just pointed out a damn good one in the case of sweaters on dogs. I never thought of it because I’ve never owned a breed that wasn’t bred for cold climes.

On behalf of the veteran Marines I taught this past year, Hoorah!
-wolfe

 
Comment by e v i l e d d y
2007-06-19 17:53:52

No worries AwesomeDoer.. men make mistakes.. like letting a woman drive.

Difference is we men admit and fix our mistakes and not just try to hide them.

 
Comment by AwesomeDoer
2007-06-19 14:38:28

AwesomeDoer said:
Oops, I think I completely misread that comment, I take it back, I’m totally confused. Sorry.

Sorry to USMC Ret in Spokane and all the men. I just read part of the comment and let my hate for women take over. I assumed, incorrectly, that it was a women. I am over eager to argue with women. -1000 man points for me. You do what you want with that dog, man. Let it smoke a cigar while where steel toed boots!!

To the women: don’t let this mistake reflect badly on the men posting here. I still don’t like women.

 
Comment by AwesomeDoer
2007-06-19 13:38:18

Oops, I think I completely misread that comment, I take it back, I’m totally confused. Sorry.

AwesomeDoer said:

USMC Ret in Spokane said:
Also, to all the men and women here, after 24 years in the Marine Corps, if I want to put a f–king sweater on my f–king dog I’ll f–king do it. Anyone who objects needs to be reminded that I used to kill people for a living.

Again, women are the ones who resort to violence and threats. And what the fuck does being in the Marine Corps have to do with dog sweaters. What does anyone’s profession have to do with it? “I’m an Accounant, and if I want to fucking put a fucking sweater on my fucking dog, YOU CAN’T STOP ME. Might I remind you, I use a calculator for a living, watch out.”

By the way, how would you like it if someone threatened you? I guess you’d just shoot to kill, right?

I’m glad to see that you are proud to be a murderer. It warms my heart.

 
Comment by AwesomeDoer
2007-06-19 13:32:35

USMC Ret in Spokane said:
Also, to all the men and women here, after 24 years in the Marine Corps, if I want to put a f–king sweater on my f–king dog I’ll f–king do it. Anyone who objects needs to be reminded that I used to kill people for a living.

Again, women are the ones who resort to violence and threats. And what the fuck does being in the Marine Corps have to do with dog sweaters. What does anyone’s profession have to do with it? “I’m an Accounant, and if I want to fucking put a fucking sweater on my fucking dog, YOU CAN’T STOP ME. Might I remind you, I use a calculator for a living, watch out.”

By the way, how would you like it if someone threatened you? I guess you’d just shoot to kill, right?

I’m glad to see that you are proud to be a murderer. It warms my heart.

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2007-06-19 11:25:39

USMC Ret in Spokane said:

after 24 years in the Marine Corps, if I want to put a f–king sweater on my f–king dog I’ll f–king do it. Anyone who objects needs to be reminded that I used to kill people for a living.

Put two sweaters on that dog!

Men are better than women.

-Dick

 
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