Pets Are Not Children
Men are a lot like dogs. That’s right, that’s what I said. Talk to any woman about anything and eventually she’ll tell you exactly the same thing.
Men are dogs.
Of course, just like any other time a woman opens her mouth, she doesn’t have any fucking clue what she’s talking about. She’s right only because women vomit words from their mouths with such a frequency that eventually she has to be right, even though she’s probably contradicting something she’s just said, or possibly jibbering in a language she doesn’t know.
If men are dogs, then women are drunken parrots with The Home Shopping Network and a credit card on speed dial. That’s why men are better pet owners than women; because the only things women know how to do are squawk and peck.
Dogs are loyal, resourceful, and they have positive attitudes. They also don’t give a shit about being too clean because that is really neurotic and ruins the fuck out of the feel of an otherwise livable home.
What could be more man-like than that? Those kinds of man-traits, that men share with dogs as well as with all the other animals in the wild that have to make their own way instead of goldbricking on the couch day-in, day-out and conjuring up reasons why weddings are important enough to spend more than dick on — make men better pet owners than women. Hands down.
Let’s take a pet’s impact on others into account first. Because that’s how men behave. Rocking the boat is inappropriate unless it’s necessary to get the job done, and when owning a guinea pig or a Chihuahua it is fucking not.
How many times have you seen a dog in a sweater or in a purse? Probably not a lot, but when you did, you can bet your ass that a man didn’t do that. A man also has never had a bunch of pictures of his pets in his wallet or his Man Bag that he’s ready to whip out on the unsuspecting at a moment’s notice. Nor will a man tell stories about his pets that are not extremely humorous; because that’s a huge waste of everyone’s time.
That’s strike one for women, who will begin a show-and-tell tale at any random point over their pet’s lifeline and finish no one knows the fuck where because there’s no point to any of it anyway. No one gives a shit if the cat turns purple in the winter time or the hamster likes the raisins more than the sunflower seeds. Leave that kind of life sucking bullshit in the diary or the equally horseshit LiveJournal.
Here’s strike two. Pets are not babies. No matter how much women want everyone to think the pug in their lap has been brewing inside of them for nine months, it fucking hasn’t. It was a few hundred bucks and there’s like a billion of them. That means no one wants to see pictures of the ugly thing, no one wants to hear about baby’s first poop, and no agency is going to come haul anyone away if the fucker misses a few meals. It’s not a big deal.
I’m not even going to make the third point that men are better than women at being pet owners because men are better than women at taking care of things. Let me just say this. Men never complain about raising a baby do they? The midnight feedings, the constant crying; I’ve only ever heard those complaints come from women. Women who all complain about taking care of babies as often and as grandly as they can, like they’re all the Virgin fucking Mary — even if they don’t have any of their own! I don’t even know how that works.
It’s because taking care of babies or pets or classic cars comes naturally to us men. It’s our sixth sense. Our man sense. Our mighty man-empathy. The only thing women can empathize with is a cactus.
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My ex boyfriend treated his pets like they were his children. AND HE WAS A MAN.
I’m a woman and I treat pets like pets.
Fucking idiot.
“Research”, as you call it, can be used to prove anything.
Studies show 17% of all people know that.
I love cats. I absolutely love them. And if it was a little girl who was nursing this kitten, I think it would have been very cute. However, if it was a girl above the age of 15 or 16, I would know that the kitten was there not because the girl loved it and wanted to take the best care of it, but rather because the girl wanted attention. The kind of attention only a kitten can bring.
A nursing kitten really has no business being outside in the cold during a football game. I mean, really, I’m sure the kitten would have been fine at home for a few hours. I’ve had cats. They normally don’t starve that quickly.
Answer that question yourself. Can you? No seriously, can you answer that question?
Along your lines of logic, I could say, “If females were meant to be societal equals to men, then why are men stronger?”
The reason men and women need to come together sexually to procreate is simple: the best way for a child to be raised is by both a man and a woman.
If women raised children best, they would reproduce asexually. The same goes for men.
You women have not yet been able to grasp the fact that this site uses satire to illustrate a point. You immediately take everything at face value, and jump to conclusions with out ever once trying to read between the lines.
Picking up on subtly does not seem to be a virtue most women have. But men have it in spades.
You realize you start and end your statement with the word “probably”….
I know dozens, if not hundreds of people with cats or dogs. And I can honestly for the life of me not think of a single one of them who doesn’t have them spayed or neutered. Who among us wants our pets humping and spraying all over the place?
You also seem to think that we have no love for our animals. This is untrue.
I don’t treat my animals like they are people, or babies, by dressing them up with ridiculous clothing and jewelery. I don’t talk to them with goo-goo’s or gah-gah’s. I don’t carry them with me everywhere I go with little jackets and boots.
I treat them like the animals they are. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love them and take good care of them. I spoil my cat. Not with shiny collars and knit sweaters, but with slices of ham, or raw pieces of fish. I let him sleep in my bed at night. I buy him balls to play with, and give him the occasional bit of catnip.
Just because a person doesn’t gush over their pet doesn’t mean they love them any less than someone who does.
In fact, I think it means they love them more.
But that does not coincide with all research, and is incomplete and inconclusive.
People don’t like it when you take one idea and run with it - it shows poor social skills. Please fuck off, you’re just going to make a lot of people not like you.
Actually…
“A recent study in the journal Science that recorded conversations of university students supports Leaper’s idea, finding that on average, men and women used about the same number of words per day. (Leaper said that studies that used this measure of talkativeness tended to find less difference between men and women than studies that looked at how much time people spent talking. In these latter studies, men used up more time in the conversation than women, Leaper said.)
Talkativeness was also influenced by whether a person was talking to someone of their same gender or the opposite gender.
“Men tend to be more talkative than women, but particularly when they’re interacting in mixed-gender settings,” Leaper said, explaining that this could also be a result of men traditionally being socialized to dominate. ”
So, research suggests men talk a bit more than women.
the kitten was probably still in the nursing stage, and had to be bottle fed and kept warm. It would make sense for her to do it if the mother wasn’t around. She probably wanted to go to the game, but couldn’t leave the kitten because it has to be on a strict schedule.
Good point Steve and welcome aboard. I also posit that women and dogs are more closely aligned in their social order, preferring to hunt in packs.
I disagree that men are like dogs, in fact I think they are more like women!
I think everyone’s all too familiar with the annoyance of a barking dog. Whether they’re a tiny lap dog or 200lbs beast, all they seem to get into these states where they just sit there and bark. They bark, bark, and bark for hours without saying or accomplishing a damn thing. While this is happening you are forced to just tune them out. Now tell me, which human gender is known for its ability to ramble aimlessly for hours without saying a damn thing?
Second point: Loyalty. With dogs you rarely have to earn their respect because they immediately like you - or seem to like you. As soon as someone else enters the room their loyalty will jump to that new person. Their loyalty to their companions is usually as shallow as a teenage girl who is on the cheerleading squad.
Third point: A human male takes pride in individuality and independence. If someone doesn’t have time for their company at the moment or flat-out doesn’t like them a human male is fine with that. A dog, on the other hand, needs constant attention. You must constantly fill their weak self-esteems by basically patting them on the head. To a dog this is the same thing as telling a woman “Don’t worry, you don’t look fat in that dress” every 5 minutes. And, just like a woman, the only times it is not necessary to protect their fragile self-esteems is those rare moments they aren’t barking.
Third point Pt. 2: Dogs need a lot of care when compared to similar pets like cats. The human owners need to rearrange their schedules so that they can “let their dogs out”. Yup, dogs can’t even poop properly without human intervention. I think this is symbolic of a woman’s need for a man guidance in life. If the man’s not there to protect a woman the woman will simply poop all over her life.
So while dogs do give the appearance of having more in common with human males than females, it’s only a superficial. As I have just proven, underneath that dirty smelly fur they’re nothing bug chicks in the important things.
So, he shall be banished to some non-existent land called “hell” because of his opinions on women? That would be pretty shallow of your almighty “God” to do, don’t you think?
So, he shall be banished to some non-existent land called “hell” because of his opinions on women? That would be pretty shallow of your almighty “God” to do, don’t you think?
Because then what would women have to use argue their usefulness? They don’t do anything else worthwhile.
*D3C*
Oh my gosh..
Men are better at raising babies than women?! What a load of crap. I will admit that i was raised mostly by my father, but it was my mother who looked after me and cared for me when i was an infant. SHE was the one to get up six times a night. SHE was the one to change my nappies, feed me, cloth me, bath me, play with me. Maybe you only hear women complaining because in fact the men in their lives do not bother with such tasks that they are apparantely so good at. Tell me this, if you were naturally meant to look after children, why don’t the males give birth to them?
I agree with Chris. And men look by instinct! Stop blaming things that aren’t really to be blamed. It’s like blaming a woman because she has boobs.
It’s instinct. It will happen even though he thinks it’s wrong.
Every guy looks at teenage girls. When they bring their friends over you can bet your cock-holster ass that that girl’s father has check each and every girl out. It’s not wrong, nor is it immoral. Its only just recently been made illegal, in relation to the human time line. I’m not advocating shit I’m stating facts. Even the coveted Bible depicts relationships with young women, 15 and 1 year olds. The Virgin Mary was 15. The most common sex and halloween customs are of innocent school girls with pig tails. But don’t you dare look at a teenage girl even if she’s holding a fucking pussy wrapped in towel at a night time football game. All women are hypocrites.
First of all baby and kitten shouldn’t be used in the same sentence because a kitten is a baby cat. Sencond how do you know that, that kitten wasn’t abannoned at birth so it has to be fed by a bottle or it will die and maybe it was cold so it was in a blanket. Third what are you doing looking at teenage girls anyway?
She has a golden ticket!
PISS! PISS! PISS OUT MY ASS!
/apologies to southpark.
every *day*. Dang.
Thats funny; all the jackasses get laid every laid. What a retard.
That’s not a female, that’s an empty cock recepticle.
BY THE WAY U STUPID DUMB FUCK…. YOU PROBABLY DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TOURETTES SYNDROME IS AND U NEED TO GET HELP! U ARE GOING TO GO TO HELL AND I HOPE ITS A GOOD RIDE. U WANT GURLS TO SUCK UR DICK OR W/E ..THEN WHY DO U HATE WOMEN SO MUCH BECAUSE IF U DONT LIKE WOMEN WHY INVITE THEM INTO YOUR WORLD OF SEXIST MEN… UGH I HATE YOU!!!! U ARE SO GROSS TAKE UR STUPID GLASSES OFF … U ARE A STUPID DUMB FUCK UGH I HATE U
You people are probably the type that don’t get their pets vaccinated and spayed/neutered. They reproduce and contribute to the over population of pets, living on the street, sick, hungry. They are euthanized by the thousands on a daily basis all across the United States. Or if you do have a pet, they probably run free (until thay get hit by a car).