Rubber Ducky, Fuck You’re Slow
Men are better than women at anything that goes on inside a house or anywhere. That includes making food and speaking about something worth a shit.
That also includes showering. Men are better than women at showering.
Faster means better. All men know that. See, when making statements like “faster is better”, all men realize the “so long as quality is not compromised” is implied. That’s why men are so efficient when we’re working together. It’s the universal submanconscious. If one man were to say, “These speakers would be much better if they were louder,” no other man would object to that. Clearly there is an implication of quality.
Women are so silly even if they are listening to something as simple as what I’ve just described, they fuck it up. Ideas are more than language and language is more than words, but women realize that like they realize a hole in the head. Women look at a forest and see a bunch of trees uncomfortably close to one another. They look at a box of Lego and see what looks like debris. That’s why there are never any happy little girls on Lego boxes; and also why Lego makes Spaceman sets and Pirate sets and not Tea Party sets or How to Juggle Two Sugar Daddies sets. It’s because women have no fucking sense of a goddamn thing.
Faster is better. A man has a lot of ass to kick every day and none of it is getting kicked in the shower. That’s why men are in and out in under 10 minutes. Women take like 50.
I have been investigating this peculiarity over many years and I have come to the following conclusion:
Dick’s Reasons Men Shower Better Than Women
1. Women fight gravity
In the shower, gravity is your friend. You wash the hair; you wash the face; you wash the man-ass. Whatever you’re washing that day, gravity is your shower helper monkey. Women, however, fight gravity just like they fight fucking everything else in their lives — biology included. They shave their legs first. Some paint their toenails and sit on the toilet for like ten fucking minutes completely forgetting about the shower. Whatever they do it’s dumb.
2. Women are dumb
Women forget what they’ve washed. It seems an easy thing to remember and Lord knows it’s even easier to remember for men, who have larger man-brains and are naturally inclined to work with the physical act of gravity. Women fuck it up though. They wash their left foot twice. They use six fucking kinds of soaps on their faces. What the fuck?
3. Showers are woman-safe
The technology in your shower is as old as waterfalls and boners. As a man, that disgusts the piss out of me. Showers are literally the only places left on Earth where a woman can’t fuck up a piece of technology that should cost more than her engagement ring — which she also shouldn’t have because marriage is for suckers.
This is a first hand account, people. If you want to speed up the process in the bathroom, just print these rules out and post them on the shower door. Or post the opposite. I really don’t know. Dead dogs can learn new tricks before women.
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March 23rd, 2007 at 3:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 37872b90a7e8e
March 23rd, 2007 at 4:01 am - IP Man-Hash: 37872b90a7e8e
i am strong man and i am 18years old iam a tall 173 s.m and i am 71 k.g
yeah we just dont talk about it.
March 23rd, 2007 at 4:03 am - IP Man-Hash: 37872b90a7e8e
i am strong man and i am 18years old iam a tall 173 s.m and i am 71 k.g
and my phone namber is;0124249583
May 3rd, 2007 at 5:19 am - IP Man-Hash: bdabbb77d8ba2
May 3rd, 2007 at 7:17 am - IP Man-Hash: 4136c1534ed3c
Actually they are seperating the wheat from the chaff. You see they gather together in groups with chaff members only. They are doing the seperating for us. If only we could eliminate the worthelss chaff now that it is grouped together we could save humanity.
August 19th, 2007 at 8:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: cb12e471163bd
You are the dumb fuck man that wrote it, why don’t you pay attention to what the fuck you are doing you ignorant piece of shit. Your description of a womans’ shower is the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard. Since you think so negatively about women why don’t you find a nice man to fulfill all of your dreams and fantasies. Not all women are the same and on the same token not all men are the same, there are the ignorant fucks like you.
August 19th, 2007 at 9:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9ca7a3ecda6eb
Why are you women all so obsessed with sex? Are you too dense to believe someone can’t live a normal and happy life without sex?
August 19th, 2007 at 10:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3f0439810d387
Thank goodness for that…
August 21st, 2007 at 9:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: cb12e471163bd
Why are you women all so obsessed with sex? Are you too dense to believe someone can’t live a normal and happy life without sex?
Who the fuck was talking about sex. If you are talking about the word fantasy…look it up in the dictionary. If you knew anything about me you wouldn’t have said some stupid shit like that. I am not obsessed with sex. Besides, it’s always men trying to get in womens pants, I don’t know what fucking planet you came from.
August 21st, 2007 at 10:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9ca7a3ecda6eb
Proving once again that you women can’t argue a point without insults. How gurly of you! How pathetic and sad you are.
Women suck as people
August 22nd, 2007 at 7:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: cb12e471163bd
Proving once again that you women can’t argue a point without insults. How gurly of you! How pathetic and sad you are.
Women suck as people
Women can’t argue a point without insults…..you called me dense. And now you are calling me pathetic, sad and saying I suck. You started it you dumb fuck. Only a chauvinist pig like you would say “you women” and “women suck as people”. Just because people are the same sex doesn’t mean they are the same. Do you think that you can call me dense and talk shit about me and I am supposed to just take it and not defend myself because you are a “so called” man?? I don’t fucking think so. I wouldn’t say men suck…but you make men look bad.
August 29th, 2007 at 5:42 am - IP Man-Hash: 5556903c41ed8
Proving once again that you women can’t argue a point without insults. How gurly of you! How pathetic and sad you are.
Women suck as people
Women can’t argue a point without insults…..you called me dense. And now you are calling me pathetic, sad and saying I suck. You started it you dumb fuck. Only a chauvinist pig like you would say “you women” and “women suck as people”. Just because people are the same sex doesn’t mean they are the same. Do you think that you can call me dense and talk shit about me and I am supposed to just take it and not defend myself because you are a “so called” man?? I don’t fucking think so. I wouldn’t say men suck…but you make men look bad.
Will you be showing your future husband this lovely side of your personality, Brandi honey? I think he probably has a right to know…before he signs on the dotted line.
You certainly make an impression, just not a very good one.
August 29th, 2007 at 5:45 am - IP Man-Hash: 5556903c41ed8
Will you be showing your future husband this lovely side of your personality, Brandi honey? I think he probably has a right to know…before he signs on the dotted line.
You certainly make an impression, just not a very good one.
August 29th, 2007 at 7:50 am - IP Man-Hash: a13ba81333017
If women don’t suck, then what the devil are they doing on my internets?
-wolfe
August 29th, 2007 at 7:59 am - IP Man-Hash: cfb78268d537a
Dick, do one on Teen Miss USA… Lmao. She was an “honours student” yet couldnt answer a simple question on geography. It was internationally reported. Thats what affirmative action got us… she probably slept around, gave some blowjobs to get her 3.5 GPA “honours crap”. Hahahahahahah.
Men are better than women.
August 29th, 2007 at 9:48 pm - IP Man-Hash: a13ba81333017
@MansVoice I think that was Miss Teen South Carolina, MV. Not that I disagree with you in the general thrust of what you’re saying.
The US educational system 0-18 is grossly inferior (to, say Singapore’s). 18-21 we start to catch up; 21-30 I think we excel. Not that that defends our horrible elementary/secondary educational system.
-wolfe
August 29th, 2007 at 11:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: b6f97ac8a94a7
Fair enough. I still think its hilarious… how she represented how stupid and fuck-tarded women are … lmao.
December 4th, 2007 at 8:29 am - IP Man-Hash: abd360d9b6177
First touch with the girlfriend in a live, after a while, through ICQ. Today met, and I felt the inability to talk with her on all topics, be open. Like komok in the throat, once tried to have intimate relations on the subject, immediately zamolkal. Yes, and she could not say anything wing.
Why, Internet communication allows more freedom than the real one? Perhaps some blame my fear, or the ability to label themselves in the Internet masks, I do not know. What do you think about this?
P.S. Please administrator http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com. If the thread is not to be in category this, I ask you to move my thread to the correct category.
December 4th, 2007 at 9:29 am - IP Man-Hash: 0a379370a5fd8
I like that guy. Almost didn’t understand it, but as a man, his word encryption will be figured out by me and other men.
Give him Starter Man-Points. What I gathered was, “I talked to my gal in person, she was fucked up, and I couldn’t see any reason to really speak to her about having sex, she just wanted me to do all the talking”.
The last part is: “I am an awesome man, I didn’t fuck up and post in the wrong category, but thank you for the chance to be a big man with a big penis and bigger brain, like all men everywhere”.
April 13th, 2008 at 12:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: 062703d978411
On to Walt Whitman.