I’ll Take How To Fuck My Life Up For 1000, Alex.
Everyone knows the old saying, “Don’t let a bald man cut your hair.” It sticks because the guy’s bald and that’s funny first of all, but it’s also poignant. Having no hair of his own for who knows how long, the bald man has probably lost some of his touch when it comes to dealing with your foliculas. Or perhaps he has seen the light of the Chrome Dome — and enjoyed some of the more esoteric benefits of the bald life-style, and will now attempt to convert you without your consent. Whatever happens, you’re not getting your fucking hair cut.
Today I propose a similar saying for posterity which is based on the same theme: someone with no frame of reference, no experience, and no fucking clue at all shouldn’t be doing something that will result in the failure and sabotage of another.
Here it comes…
Never ask a fucking woman for relationship advice!
In this case, the bald man, AKA the clueless jerk, has been changed to a woman. As we all know, women have no clue how to behave in a relationship — or have a relationship at all. Women can’t even manage careers and relationships at the same time. That’s why there’s single women over thirty. I mean for fuck’s sake, men have been doing that since the first human being got hungry for the first time. It’s a bit unfair to the bald man, but there’s not saying that says, “Don’t let lice cut your hair,” because that’s gross and no one would ever say it so the barber will have to do.
The latter half of the saying: the hair cutting and the advice giving by a woman can easily be extrapolated into catastrophe. A huge fucking catastrophe.
If you haven’t experienced this phenomenon on your own, I highly recommend it as a source of entertainment. Simply fabricate a relationship problem. A simple relationship problem with a simple solution — the simpler the better, and ask a woman for help.
Here’s an example if you have better things to do than sit around and think up bullshit problems. You’re a man so obviously you don’t have any experience in doing that.
My spouse has a methadone problem, what should I do?
Or
My girlfriend is pregnant, what should I do?
Ho boy. If you thought making women spell was hilarious, wait until you hear the cluster fuck of stupid brainstorms that comes out of their mouths when they try their hands at relationship advice. Women are God’s MadLibs, the sentences fly and its wacky fun and silliness for everyone — as long as your idea of wacky fun and silliness contain the words “support”, “true love”, and “soul mate” lighting up the bullshit mound like a fucking Christmas tree.
Obviously any man in the same position will do the only sensible thing, take you to the bus station himself, and buy you a one-way ticket. Women are not evaluators. We know that. They don’t realize that when you’re stuck between a rock and a fucked place, you just need to cut anchor. That’s why so many women get the shit kicked out of them, because they listen to their own advice.
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Chris=Mr. Empty-pants: http://www.maleenhancement.org/
I couldn’t figure where to post this. It roughly pertains, for if men weren’t better than women, why would the United Kingdom work so diligently to oppress men? Check this out, in particular the comments about the three justices–a female and two manginas–who maintain the position that a man’s rights can’t be violated because he has none to begin with:
http://www.youtube.com/user/rffjbanner
When the tsunami of backlash hits the legal system–driven in large part by global economic freezing–I believe people like this will be swept away and taken to the Hell they’ve made for all of us.
men have held records on Jep.
“If you thought making women spell was hilarious”
…Yeah, sure. And you are a decent speller? Tell me what this one means, because I am puzzled:
“squewed”
“squewed”
“squewed”
“squewed”
“squewed”
“squewed”
Shouldn’t you be in the kitchen instead of pointing out typos.
Your anagrams are showing,Greta.
“A woman who’s fun to speak with…” This poor kid over on YouTube! Lad can’t be more than 22yrs. old, and he’s already got his complaint summarized liked a 60yr. old man-nearly verbatim to the above. “Go make yourself useful!” That’s an old one, but true one. Everything I’m hearing sounds like relationships that are perfunctory bullshit due to financial dependency.
Define what constitutes a ‘useful woman’; hang it up on a billboard on every expressway in America….and….
Assist Dick in case against women drivers.
“Lad can’t be more than 22yrs. old, and he’s already got his complaint summarized liked a 60yr. old man-nearly verbatim to the above.”
Because age dictates the value of a man’s opinion? Does age dictate how well someone can write? How useful their insight is? How logical they are? No.
-500 Man Points
One quarter of the female population on earth have its priorities in the wrong place, I won’t mention which quarter. Sixty Five years ago during the height of the female liberation movement accelerated and propelled by World War II, Housewives, single women in their 20’s were called to duty. In a society mainly controlled by men which subsequently were away at war. Women were looked upon as very important proponent in the cause of war. Many females were factory workers,and some held construction jobs also taking mens positions in the corporate world that were vacant at that time. Progress had to be made for that great nation to survive.
Along came the 60’s peace and love reined supreme , hippies and drugs was the thing. Men started shoot up heroin smoke marijuana, becoming softer and loosing controll giving women more and more responsibilties and positions of authority. Men started to loose their grip on things. the 80’s come about men start to realize they have been in a drunken stuper for the past ten years. Men start to snort cocaine hoping it makes us more exciting, energetic, hyper, but we did not realize it was making us dumber and more dependant on womens acceptance.During this absence of a mans mind and influence during these 2 decades Women had to step it up and fill the shoes of men. What do we do? instead of empowering our women and help them raise our children properly,What do we do? we escape we leave . Lets face it guys we created this Monster. Now we compete with women in corporate jobs , they no longer need a man in the house to raise the kids, surrogate fathers or sperm donors for lesbian couples.
Lets face it gentlemen its time to take control again and become masters of our own destiny again lets leave the past behind us and move forward from this point on. Its time to take the nerd glasses off, reach between your legs and act like you have a pair. Next time a women tells you what to do let her know what time it is…….
Bottom line you cant change evolution “girls”
Only women hate the word “fuck”. Its manly. Men use it. I dont give a shit how you feel bitch. The problem is not how “fucked” we men are; its how women have fucked things up for us so we landed here. Did I say “fuck”, you “dumb fuck”?
Hasan, you are terribly mistaken with your perceptions. I must point out the grave error you unconsciously make.
Men of integrity and honor grant AUTOMATIC respect to ALL other people, unconditionally. Say that a few times over before you read on…
A person who HAS anothers respect, then needs to behave in such a way that s(he), does not risk LOSING that respect.
If women choose to jeapordise the privilege of being respected through shitty behaviour or outright assholicness, their right to “respect” is forfeit.
Short version: Respect is NOT earned, it’s retained.
If women are good at only one thing, it’s losing our respect. This is most likely due to them being lazy, manipulative entitlement whores.
I didn’t use the word “fuck”, but I hope I made a clear fucking point.
opinion.
Sorry for talking in two posts keyboard is low on battery and didn’t type the last word.
Seriously you go on about respect but you can’t even respect that people are allowed to have their own opinions. No one is forcing you to come to this site and comment on it, there are god knows how many feminst sites, racists sites and religious sites, who gives a shit people are different and have the right to their own fucking opinions without some random guy coming on here, acting all high and mighty and telling them they are wrong. Sure you can think that cause thats your opinion and if your allowed to think we are wrong then we are allowed to think we are right.
Also just because someones a woman or your mother means shit all, guess what my mother is an esctasy taking slut who I havn’t spoken to since I was 12 does she deserve respect? And before anyone says it, this is not the reason I have certain views on women I have given countless women countless chances and have beeen fucked over. I don’t agree with everything Dick says but I think he does make some good points and I admire that he has the balls to say and stick to them.
I don’t hate women but I certainly don’t trust them, and I think that having a relationship with one can be like looking after a child ( I have a girlfriend who I do love but sometimes I swear to god shes harder work than my brothers children).
One last thing women want equal rights? Well say if women are treated exactly like men I bet they will still expect us to open doors for them, pay for them on dates, carry things for them, tip-toe around their emotions and protect them. But to a feminist that pretty much sums up equality.
And to any women or men like Hasan who have a problem with what I’m saying, either give constructive arguements or fuck off because you aint gonna change MY
What the fuck is wrong with you fucking people using the fucked up fucking word fuck !! GET OVER IT and develop some respect for women ! we are men ! we should know how to treat a woman ! and dick doesnt know shit about anything. probably he got kicked off a couple of time thats why he poured down his anger in this Article ! But the real point is that not all women are the same ! for god sake you are womans’s child ! atleast have some respect for your mother !
Are you trying to accomplish something, miss?
Wow… I don’t know where you guys live or the kind of women you are meeting, but I can think of at least a dozen women I know that are shit load of fun to talk to and do things with (and fuck).
And I can think of a dozen more that are smarter than I am and make plenty more money than I do, and I own an ad agency and do pretty damn well…
However, relationship advice is a tough one. It’s just two completely different points of view, and I have learned my lesson about taking relationship advice from a woman. Men want casual sex and the excitement of the conquest… most women want to feel taken care of and have kids.
Henrich, you summed up basically whats there to be said. Spectacular.
So true indeed, what women want isnt what they ask for, so always just give them the reverse for eg. if your girlfriend says “Let me do the decision making” – Its actually her cue for you to tell her to shut the fuck up because she is being completely retarded. Of course, a slippery slope can be developed if one includes “rape” into this concept. any thoughts?
My point is the reason I would want a woman to work is so that I get the money. If they get a job and have an education that would be nice then when they come home from work and I get off work they give me the money from their paycheck and I bye what I want them to have.
Women are useless. It’s hard to find someone who actually isn’t. I doubt there is a useful woman in this day and age. I havn’t found any use for any woman yet, nor a woman who is actually fun to speak with.
Sad, but true. I’ve been saying that all along.
Wise.
Nicole,
I bet the guy your speaking of is just tired of have to deal with the endless emotional responsibility that your friend places on him. I bet she’s constantly nagging him about how she’s not happy, and makes it his problem. I bet he really likes her, except for the fact that he has his own emotions to deal with and is sick and tired of putting himself second to hers. Tell her to just go with thefriend bit if she wants to keep him around, or leave him if not. Either way, shes doing him a favor. Tell him I said bravo.
There is thing Ive noticed time and time again about women in relationships. They want the bad boy who says fuck the rules and everything else. Then its nag, bitch, and moan about evrything that attracted them to you in the first place. If you give in, and I almost always have, then its all of the sudden “you’ve changed.” Next thing you know they are fucking one of your buddies that you used to run with. Its completely my bad for giving in and changing myself to please some fucking woman that knows they cant make it on their own. I will never find myself in this predicament again. The only conclusion Ive been able to come up with after countless failed relationships is that women are clueless in what they want and impossible to please. I enjoy treating them accordingly. I sincerly believe women are merely searching for another daddy since they wore out the one that gave them life. FUCK em