Will a Prostitute Brush Your Teeth?
Women hog everything. They’re bed hogs, they’re attention hogs, and they’re vagina hogs. Try to get a little vagina for yourself and you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Unless you’re waving a white flag that looks like a fifty dollar bill, you’ll get your hand bitten off like you’re reaching for the Baco’s at a Jenny Craig convention.
Men have dicks and we share them. Women act like their vaginas are cell phone minutes. You use ‘em, you lose ‘em. If only divorce was that easy.
If someone told you that the only way to get a finger stuck in your ear was if you called the person doing it your “Major Tom”, you’d tell them to go fuck themselves. A woman wouldn’t. She’d buy a t-shirt that said it in glitter.
Replace finger, ear, and Major Tom, with dick, vagina, and “soul mate”, and you’ve got a wedding on your hands. Put your Man Points in a box and mail them to Never.
Women are also sink hogs and they brush their teeth like rude, thoughtless pigs.
Alec Baldwin put it best, women are “rude, thoughtless pigs” on the road, they’re “rude, thoughtless pigs” at work, and they’re “rude, thoughtless pigs” in the bathroom.
No one tells you before you live with a woman for the first time, but they are as messy and dirty as a Chinese bullfight. If a woman can make it through a week without using everything in the kitchen and bathroom at least twice, then it must be her honeymoon because she hasn’t unwrapped all the matching bullshit yet.
Men are as clean as gods when it comes to our manors — which we lord over in a manly way. We’re clean because we don’t make messes in the first place; with an infinite number of chemicals and lotions that won’t turn us into jail bait. I haven’t cleaned my bathroom in 9 months and you could eat off the floor. That’s because I pay women to clean it for me.
Cleaning is something poor people have to do. And one of the reasons women make terrible parents is because they teach their children how to be poor. If women wanted a better life for their kids, they wouldn’t nag their children to clean their rooms, they would nag their children to learn a new skill. They would nag their children to read an accounting book or a free TRW How The Fuck Does My Credit Work? pamphlet. You can’t unlearn how to handle your money. Just like you can’t make more than minimum wage cleaning my bathroom.
Unless you’re Mr Clean.
Mrs. Butterworths was a fat pig who probably hung her face over the sink while her husband was trying to brush his teeth as well. If your woman is hogging your sink, do what I do, spit on the back of her head. She’ll learn. Women hate when you get shit in their hair.
Related Articles:
Pages: [2] 1 » Show All
1. Always leave the toilet seat up (despite what that hog Oprah says) and if they leave it down piss on the seat.
LMAO. This is a top drawer piece of advice, drives them fucking batshit, actually putting the seat down show’s you’re her submissive.
I thought men with tiny dicks pissed sitting down? Hahahahahahahaha!!!!
Dick Masterson=Dildo wearing a Groucho mask! http://www.maleenhancement.org/
http://www.maleenhancement.org/
Chris AND MarkEMark=Mr. Empty-pants
Well, I’m a girl, and personally, I think this is hilarious. Not in any feminist way, but ‘drunk in a bar, chillin with the guys’ kind of way.
Dick reminds me of Tom Cruise for some reason. Maybe it’s the Top Gun glasses or his voice, but evry time I see him I think of Tom Cruise. Anyway, women are total fucking slobs. Her is how you deal with it:
1. Always leave the toilet seat up (despite what that hog Oprah says) and if they leave it down piss on the seat.
2. If they keep leaving clothes lying around throw them away and don’t say anything. It’s funny to see them looking for that skirt that has been buried under that pile of dirty clothes for 6 months.
3. If they leave shoes sitting next to your PS3, throw them in the middle of the yard and blame it on her dog.
4. If they ask to wear your clothes tell them to piss off, they’ll just ruin them anyway.
5. When they leave a cereal bowl next to the bathroom sink, put it in her car and then act surprised. Women are gullible by nature.
6. Shedding hair like a fucking animal all over the house? Put a little Nair in her shampoo. Don’t worry fellows it only thins out, but they go an through an emotional roller coaster worrying that somethings wrong.
Now these tips are both MANlarious, and practical!!!
Thanks, DallyWama.
myteethareprettierthanfeminuts
I live with my little sister, and man, how true is all that!
She gets the bathroom so dirty whenever she uses that fucking makeup it looks like she shat on a sock and spanked the whole fucking place with it, and never cleans up. Also, she gets a lot of hair on the washbasing and blames me when it gets clogged. Same with the towels, and she cleans her cat’s litter box once a week (luckily). This is what “woman liberation” is all about: buying lots of clothes, doing nothing and not cleaning up their own shit.
Also, she uses up toilet paper, milk, cereals, etc. and it’s a fucking miracle when she remembers getting more, so I’m throwing around the stuff she leaves in the wrong places, placing the fucking litter box next to her bed and whatnot.
But never blame something on a dog, even if it’s hers. Dogs are man’s best friends.
I have just figured out who Dick looks like – a weedier version of Edward Norton in American History X, and we all know how that ended.
He won the lotto and went to live in Noniggersville.
THIS is my new favorite article. Your analogies are great Dick.
You’ll understand this if you’re a real man.
Dick should write something on being a real man, some readers need it.
Keep it coming Masterson.
Men have dicks and we share them. Women act like their vaginas are cell phone minutes. You use ‘em, you lose ‘em. If only divorce was that easy.
Bahahaha, that was so epic. This site is amazing; good on ya, Dick!
There is a disgussting Earth rodent who comes by every now and then to clean my bathroom. Last time I told her to go back home and take a shower. Fucking hell ! She smelled as if she had been temered in raw shit the night before.
As for the girls offended, keep fucking yourselves until prince charming comes on his white horse and cums on your faces.
Men, keep not giving a shit.
-Sebastian
Right on Sebastian,
Earth to all women in fantasy fucking world who have not had the real world hit them like a ton of bricks: Prince charming isn’t coming or cumming. If you women out there in fantasy land are making rude, thoughtless replies and you are over 23 years old and bitter because all you have to sell is a shit sandwich and a floppy old piece of used roasty beef then just fuck off!
[...] Men are Better than Women.com [...]
There’s also chick flicks, NOW conventions, feminist sites, group therapy, Starbucks, Winchell’s donuts, male strip clubs and dykes for the rejected women and their bitterness. I hope you never get laid; your spawn would likely require abortion.
- Sgt. Reyes
P.S. Oh and it’s a generalization that none of the Men on this site get laid. As a Marine that has been overseas and abroad, I’ve been laid more in in a six month deployment than you have in a lifetime. As for the other Men on this site I’m sure the attitude of not putting up with a woman’s shit scores them more sex than a toilet.
You women are attention whores and when you don’t get it (the attention), you’ll do virtually anything to put out more just to achieve the desired results. Hence, all the porn and ‘girls gone wild’ series. Ya’ll just can’t get enough. Whores.
What’s with you Dick? Why you letting them womans make you look like an idiot? Come on, you’ve gotta have some way to stop them. Be a man, not a pussy. Come on man ur name’s Dick.
-Sgt. Reyes
Unfortunately, he’s right. Women do hoard the pussy and really only put out if you buy her pussy something. Be it a fancy dinner, something materiel or doing what she wants when she wants. This is the story of marriage these days and the divorce rates are getting worse.
Incidentally, this is why I have chosen never to get married. It seems the more you make a women vie for your attention the less you pay and the more they are attracted to you. It’s sad but none of my buddies both in and out of the military have any desire to get married or stick to any one woman.
Translation: The more you show a woman a complete lack of attention the more the ‘attention whore’ will come out and beg for a fuck. Additionally, the hotter they are the more they beg for the attention. I’m certainly not gay and I certainly don’t have a problem getting laid. Every woman I spend time with knows two of two things:
1. I won’t put up with any of her shit. It’s my house, my rules and if she doesn’t like it she can leave.
2. I’m the Alpha male and I run the show. Any feminist talk will get her banned from my domain permanently.
Men the world over are starting to realize that pussy is not that valuable and that there is no reason to pay a dime for it unless you are severely ugly or you just enjoy prostitutes. I’m not cheap I just don’t need to pay for something that falls into your lap like ripe fruit if you don’t pay attention to it in the first place.
It’s not a Goddess, it’s a sex organ.
The rude, thoughtless pig in my bathroom has a penis. I swear to God he was raised by wildebeests. When I enter the bathroom after he’s had his way with it, I would swear that I’ve visited Shell station toilets in Blythe that were less vomit-inspiring. Still, I keep him around because he has a penis and he knows how to use it. Also, he fixes things, makes me laugh, and makes the world’s best hot wings in the entire world.
Will a prostitute brush your teeth? No.
P Coderch
for a hundred bucks she would!
P Coderch, Heather does have a point.
I even laughed.
Now fuck off this website heather. :D.
:( ok… *sob* i won’t be able to change someone’s mind today, WHY GOD WHY, WHY CAN’T I EXTINGUISH SEXISM! oh well, i’m over it.
By the way, I’m only here to ask you gentlemen what you want for dinner :P
hehehe. EVERY once in a while a woman says something funny. Two in a row with that last sentence.
In any case you know you are neither over it nor do you want to be over it. You want men to be sexist because it makes you cream your panties. Women claim otherwise. But we NEVER listen to what women SAY. ONLY ALWAYS pay attention to what she DOES. Women flock to men like us and sites like these because they want to be around men like us.
If you thought about it on a biological layer, you would agree and stop trying to dispute. But, here is the thing. Women WANT to be dominated. This is why they DISAGREE WITH FACTS so often. Because then that makes men FORCE the facts onto them. Until eventually, they have to admit, even secretly, that men are right. Whereas if they just submitted and admited from the start a man’s facts were right, they would not be dominated. So it is clear that women CRAVE domination. We can see it in every walk of life.
personally i like funny men so if you make me laugh, i’ll like you. I know though i like being dominated sometimes in the bedroom;) But then again I’ve been with guys who were the ones wanting to be treated like slaves!
I am not specifically talking about being dominated in the bedroom. That is just a ’safe’ place for a woman to ‘pretend’ she doesn’t REALLY want to be dominated in all aspects of her life.
Of course you like men that make women laugh. That is actually biological. It is also why women are so unfunny TYPICALLY. Because they did not NEED to make someone laugh in order to get them to fuck them. But it likewise accounts for why so many men ARE so funny. We are competing for your boxes.
Dick,
You’re only relevant point was the one about parents (wait, mothers) having to emphasize financial independence in their children at a young age. More should be done in this sector as both my parents failed at this. I learned by opposite example and have done far better than both my parents (thank God!). The only piece of advice on the matter I received as a child was to never combine my account with my spouse, and to always be financially independent. And that, my mother taught me.
You have a point about the teaching kids something worthwhile thing, new skills, pick up an accounting book etc etc….. Also important to teach your children the importance of respecting others no matter what they earn and not judging people by their pay check but by their character.
i somewhat agree with you( it totally sucks!!!). but you are just generalizing women. all women arent like that. just the ones like your mother
Old pitiful feminist shaming tactic #1: small dick
Old pitiful feminist shaming tactic #2: you are gay
Damn, can’t these stupid cunts think of anything at all to say.