The 300 And Dead As a Man Nail
I was watching The 300 again last night and I realized something.
Boy was I right when I said The 300 is the most important movie any man will ever see in his life. In fact, I didn’t even know how right I was.
That happens to me all the time.
Among other things, The 300 shows us that men are not invincible. That’s a hard lesson for any man to learn, so it’s good to see it forty-feet high and two hours long. I myself haven’t even learned that lesson. My beliefs are as invincible as I am.
And why not? Men are used to behaving and affecting the world around us as though we are gods. It’s only natural to assume the very same. We grow crops and bake bread. We invented air conditioning and television. Men built the entire world that doesn’t mansist of living under a corrugated aluminum sheet in a hole in the ground in the middle of the fucking desert. If that doesn’t make us gods, then what does? A beard?
Women know men are gods and women can barely add. Who do you think they’re calling out to in the bedroom? Some god who’s cool with premarital sex and birth control? I don’t think so. It’s you, baby. She’s talking to you.
In The 300, one of the man gods who is obviously going to die from the beginning, dies in a spectacular way. His head is chopped off in super slow motion and just like all of you men when I saw it, I sent a prayer to myself that I would go in exactly the same way: my head bouncing around all over the place and getting shit everywhere.
Manly. Someone clean up all this shit because I’m dead and I don’t give a fuck.
I don’t want to give the movie away for anyone who hasn’t seen it — unless they’re a woman in which case: fuck you. Put your cell phone on vibrate and when you’re going to go “save seats” instead of “help carry all this shit”, learn how to watch the door and lift your arm or something so I don’t wander around like a jackass for ten minutes with a cubic yard of overpriced snacks. An Irish Setter makes a better movie date than a woman. Maybe all women should have dogs for the blind for that reason.
Let me just say that the father of that guy I was talking about earlier who got his head chopped off spectacularly, watches all of this shit from like ten feet away. Then he flips the fuck out; also in super slow motion.
Men are better than women at dealing with loss.
When a man is wronged in any way, he flips the fuck out. That’s another way men are like gods. When you fuck with us, you get fucked. There’s no blunt end on the Stick of Man. We’re 360 degrees of business. That is the correct way of handling things. The first clue is that’s how men do it. A good way to tell how not to do something is see how women do it. Watch a woman read a map. Wrong. Watch a woman go on a diet. Imaginary. Watch a woman tell her boyfriend she’s pregnant.
So fucking insensitive that it makes me sick.
Fuck this second trimester, third trimester shit. A fetus isn’t alive until a man says it is.
Here’s a man riddle for you then. How can a girlfriend be pregnant without her boyfriend knowing? Stay tuned for the answer.
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Don’t forget that Leonidas had more than 300. He had more like 3,000. And they whipped major Persian ass for days on end in a declaration of manliness so awesome that it would make a woman’s head explode.
Fuck, I love this site. Nice job, Dick.
P.S. I’m glad the feminist finally shut the fuck up. Dick is a testament for all Mankind.
Seriously, watching some of you guys try to use logic is like watching retarded children try to do math.
“it’s obvious that Female is wrong about everything she says. It’s also obvious that she’s smart enough to know that what she posts is going to hit some nerves on this site, giving her life-sustaining attention from males” Yeah, what makes any of this obvious? Opinions you read on other pages of this website?
I think it’s OBVIOUS that woman do know they are hitting nerves here. And that Justin has a bad case of the downs syndrome.
Question: What do a hurricane, cyclone and a divorced woman have in common?
Answer: They always get the house.
Sparta is not mythical, its in greece
That did happen 300 is a true story
there is also a statue honoring Leonidas
Google it
Battle of Thermopylae. Done and done.
I’m taking it you fudge-packers are clearly not getting any.
by your name 100% feminist and yes it can be, but they come without wallets, the ability to invent anything, fix anything…..the list is endless.
Shut up, Muzalon, you stinking Jewish piece of shit. :)
Why don’t you brainless half-wits get lives? LOL Has the dirty filthy Jewboy Muzalon taken a bath yet? Has Chrissy boy stopped fantasizing about raping his 15 year old girlfriend’s 2 year old son yet? Has Dicky boy finally gotten surgery to repair his repulsive looking face?
You fucking idiots are so jealous of women it’s hilarious. Just do the world a favour, drive an ax through the skulls of the child-raping retards who fathered you and get out of the way of successful human beings.
LOL
sperm: Like I said 100% feminist, keep posting you prove our point more than we can, falsley accused anyone of rape lately?
Dick what do you think about the way Spartans treated women. As I remember from the movie is that the Spartans treated the women like equals. Wtf is that about?
The movie was bullshit, Spartan women had no rights at all. Good thing, too.
Dick, you are completely right (as you know, because you’re a man). Thanks for the daily manspiration!
Get a life, you fucking stupid piece of stool.
nicely said justin.
some manpoints for that.
so, i think that not only is this site so funny, its totally right on! yes, i am a woman, so take this opinion with the appropriate grain of salt, but the review of 300 is so right on, i can’t help but think that maybe my penis is tucked somewhere up in my secret parts that i don’t let anyone touch. either way, 300 is the best movie for douche bags ever. good job. you are right on with your thoughts and all of your opinions. sorry for being a lady/girl/woman… etc.
“sorry for being a lady/girl/woman… etc.”
Forgiveness granted
The funniest thing of all is that this cunt addresses me when I’m not even talking to her, and then has the audacity to claim that I am “stalking” her. She thinks it’s not a big deal for grown women to have sex with 15 year-old boys, but complains about 15 year-old girls doing fashion shows that show lingerie. Double-stadards anyone? If I met this bitch in person, I would deck her. No shit. I swear by my personal dignity, which to me is more valuable than my own life, that I would make her spit out some teeth, legal consequaces be damed.(I’m not joking about this. I swear by my family’s good name that I would do it. The same applies to “Wolfe”, “Son Of The Cunts” and other effeminate pussy-whipped motherfuckers.)
P Coderch
Or the village bycicle. Everyone’s had a ride on her!
Except you, you ugly coward.
I’m not exactly sure what makes him more of a coward than you, but hiding behind peurile name calling and unsubstantiated opinions certainly isn’t helping your case.
Female likes being a peasant among kings.
HGe was being sarcastic I believe. And damn funny.
Diamatik, I have a vivid imagination and you have just made me sick. We don’t need to know what’s in your porno collection or the last time you received a blowjob. Seriously.
Appreciated, Greg.
-Dick
That isn’t a chick flick. The only chick flicks that men enjoy are films such as Steamy Carpet Munchers, Fun with Chick and Jane, Crack Snackers and Lickity Slit
Well duh.
Mantastic observations there!