The 300 Is Twice As Sensitive As I Am
After seeing The 300 again, I’ve decided on what I find to be manliest feature of this film.
Anything a man needs to decide can be done in a maximum of five days. Men are better at deciding than women and I’ve just demonstrated this — with gusto. Women will spend six, ten, sometimes they spend their entire fucking lives deciding on the easiest of shit. And worse yet, after they’ve decided and done it, they’ll spend their entire lives re-deciding!
Then they’ll protest in front of abortion clinics. How silly.
The manliest part of The 300 is that the movie gives women a chance to shine.
Giving women the chance they don’t deserve is part of being a man. It’s our Nature of Nurture as I like to call it — with a term I have just at this very moment coined. Giving women the gentle slap on the ass they need comes with the penis, fellows and gentlemen. And you better take it because you can’t leave it. There’s no Returns Counter at the Penis R Us. There’s also no technical support line, no manual, and no amount of injected estrogen in the world could malfunct your manliest tool of all.
Your man brain.
Just like the other manliest film of all time, Doctor Strangelove, The 300 has only one female character. Men are tempests of emotion and character, as you all know. We are deeper than 20,000 leagues and the limit of our excellent is unbound. We could be kicking your ass at one moment and then helping you clean yourself up the very next, thoroughly disgusted at the state of you, but giving you a second chance also for some reason.
We’re fucking sensitive. Men are more sensitive than a skinned cat in a lemon juice factory.
Women, however, have only one dimension. That’s why The 300 is so manly. It doesn’t waste a bunch of my fucking time on ten lady characters who are all the goddamn same and are going nowhere. In The 300, women are given the most fair and unbiased treatment they have ever been given on film. The key word there is given; a man gave it to them.
I’m talking about The Queen of Sparta here, who by even my account is nearly fuck up free.
Nearly.
The 300 shows what happens to the world physically when there’s no men around. Everything gets fucked up by an invading army of bad ass dudes. More importantly, The 300 shows what happens to women emotionally when there’s no men around.
They have no fucking idea what to do.
I can only think of four words when I imagine a woman on her own trying to make a decision:
Panic, at, the, disco.
I heard that band name on the radio earlier and it stuck in my head. It’s literally all that comes to mind. But in all seriousness, women are just as much a disaster under the weight of a dilemma as they are under the weight of a Jeep full of fat guys. The Queen of Sparta was nearly fuck up free because she did everything a man told her to do. Except when she fucked that dude. He didn’t actually tell her to do that. He just insinuated.
That’s her fuck up.
Women take their entire lives to make decisions because someone went and convinced them they can think for themselves. Right. I don’t ask my clock what time it is. I tell it what time it is. The damn thing just keeps track for next time.
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April 12th, 2007 at 2:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3a34c54ba569e
This is for the woman who was hither-to speaking….”Shut the fuck up, Bitch….I will stab you to death and then play around with your blood.”
:)
April 12th, 2007 at 2:34 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8d87604c92686
I’ve seen 300 now. It’s really fucking great. The slowmotion, the insane spearmoves, and the testestorone.
Three things: THIS. IS. SPARTAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
May 22nd, 2007 at 12:21 am - IP Man-Hash: 926a1904cecf2
1st off, what the fuck is Love Actually? 2nd, that “human crustacean” as you so elloquently put it, was a real person, highly fictionalized obviously. 3rd, Persians at the time actually used those animals in war. Finally, the movie was supposed to be fiction based on real events, not a fuckin documentary. Anybody with half a dash of any knowledge about ancient Greece could appreciate the movie, even several historians… which did.
As for Blood Diamond, I havent seen it, but you said it’s good, so im guessing it probably fucking sucks.
May 31st, 2007 at 8:46 am - IP Man-Hash: ce59e47cd7ecb
Finally, you’ve said something that makes sense.
Not really considering most women are completely crap in bed.
May 31st, 2007 at 9:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 356b2e2244d02
Female, the 300 (manliest film of the year so far) was based on the comic version by Frank Miller, not true events.
‘ Course, You could have looked that up before running your mouth off yet again, at a place you’re not welcome.
June 29th, 2007 at 9:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 356b2e2244d02
He already had a perfectly good wife. Last thing he wants is some clumsy, strident Aussie skank ruining his manly demeanor.
You even got his name wrong, you dozy bint
July 2nd, 2007 at 11:29 am - IP Man-Hash: 1ab60015f6eb6
I think that was an excellent post. Really, I must rub this in. Female, your purpose on this site is to make some “kind of point”. Now, you can moan and bitch about how there is a need for equality blah blah and no one will care but the truth is there: Men are better than women.
In what? In every.fucking.thing. It doesnt matter how much women are becoming managers, becoming teachers etc. It doesnt fucking matter. The only reason the fem-nazi rave about it is because women ARE the special olympics. If a man scales mount everest, fuck, he is just another of several hundred other men who have done it. If a women does it, wow, its suddenly “news worthy”.
get the point? I dont mind protecting and defending women which will come in due course when i answer the call of national service. However, its women like you feminists which makes me want to rethink my earlier commitment. Stop whining and bitching. Be better than us if you can - As a gender collectively.. you cant even beat an average guy so lay off some of the more enlightened men on this site.
July 2nd, 2007 at 2:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: d6dc090702e73
Castigation is the tool of a weak mind.
July 2nd, 2007 at 2:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: d6dc090702e73
Even Spartans knew that!
July 2nd, 2007 at 2:58 pm - IP Man-Hash: d6dc090702e73
Better is a word which requires a fair game. Games are inventions of men to test ones worthiness in a hunting pack. Therefore competitiveness is a quality derived for masculine rank. In simple terms; You feel it is necessary to compare your apples to oranges. A biological sign that male homosapiens show when they have been socially dominated or abused their whole lives. You feel weak, and are afraid of other men. So you try to latch on to the group Man. This is because you feel unworthy. You feel an instictual need to challenge women as a recourse. You think you have better chances of dominating. In turn, if I were super empathic I would say a woman dominated you anyways. Now your burning up inside. Anger would only prove this to be true. But that is how you feel, don’t you?
July 2nd, 2007 at 3:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: d6dc090702e73
PS
Real men feel only a great respect and admiration of women. You have obviously been bitten by the Greco-Roman homosexual bug! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!
July 2nd, 2007 at 3:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
I hope you get bitten by the “Fuck-off” bug pretty soon.
July 2nd, 2007 at 5:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2494436572c41
Doubt is going to assfuck you into place.
July 2nd, 2007 at 5:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2494436572c41
PS: A whore or faggot kept man telling people how the Spartans lived is like Paris Hilton telling the world to live chaste and clean.
Arrogant, ignorant, and doozy as fuck.
July 2nd, 2007 at 9:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: 206ad98341577
If you a woman, why dont you say it to ANY one of these guys in real life? You get ass-fucked. Thats simple as that. Dont talk so much crap about us being faggots and “wanting us to prove it”. You want a fuck or something… attention whore?
January 27th, 2008 at 6:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 8f0a725ff54ee
men are sensitive and emotional
April 18th, 2008 at 5:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: 062703d978411
Whoa! Out of respect for our host and such, why give an opportunity to get shut down for being serial killer?
She’s got you down at her level, hit the binders.
April 18th, 2008 at 6:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 062703d978411
“The men were men, and the women were pretty much men as well”
Why don’t you quit laughing (it’s only cute when chimps do it in that fashion), and realize-men would be much happier on this earth if women could instintively become a clone of them at any given moment. That would be truly helpful, useful-the ultimate assistant. Why is Stepford such a bad place? You’re just scared.
April 18th, 2008 at 6:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: 062703d978411
Tsk. What’s really irking you is that the only way you’re going to get any male attention (which thing you crave) is by being a porn star.
Anything else you do to improve or enhance yourself, is just for yourself.
“They don’t care, they don’t care…” run for Kleenex now.
April 30th, 2008 at 2:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2e1f013756a45
To hell with five day decisions. In the samurai philosophy of Bushido, a man should make a decision within the span of seven breaths. That’s manly.