There’s Nothing to Wrong Except Wrong Itself
I hear this question all the time; never directed at myself, but while hearing shrill she-devils screech and harp on their man-friends while standing in line for the cinema or the man-theater or a meat restaurant.
“Were you checking out that girl?”
I carry around a special stash of Man Points for the first man to answer it correctly. I haven’t given them out yet, so if you see me hanging about the correct answer is:
“Yes.”
Honesty is not the best policy. Lying is always the best policy. It’s fun and it gains you Man Points by the boatload. I was at the pub the other week and the lady-bartender was wondering if I should have another seven and seven. As an aside, can I comment for a moment on how men are better than women at being bartenders? Always go to the female bartender. They’re a curse on a money making bar who pour drinks like the liquor is free. A bartender’s job is getting women as drunk as possible, not men.
I said yes just like I answer most questions women ask. See, women don’t ask anything unless they want you to say no — and that’s only because they want you to agree with their ‘no’. Women don’t give a shit about what you think or what you want, it’s all them, them, them. Anything that ends in a question mark is their way of telling you you fucked up somehow. You think they would be the experts at spotting fuck ups, but they’re not. They’re just the experts at fucking up.
I gave myself 65 Man Points for lying.
The reason you should simply say “Yes, I was,” when some daft princess asks if you’ve been checking out another woman is because you were and it doesn’t fucking matter. It’s not your responsibility to explain the complex workings of the man-mind to a woman. All the reasons you were checking her out for are beyond her limited comprehension.
1. Men notice everything. We notice everything and we need details. We need details to occupy the cogs of our massive brains so they keep spinning. Man brains are like boats and motorcycles. If you let them sit they need an expensive tune-up.
2. Men are wary of all creatures that come within our personal space. Our personal space includes (but is not limited to) our field of vision.
3. Halter tops are fascinating. How do they stay up like that?
If you’re going to explain to a woman the motivations men subconsciously consider before everything they do, why not start with the free market system which no woman anywhere understands? Why not explain democracy to a woman — who all have the attention span of a fucking child. Teach her why she has her precious right to vote. That ought to be a treat!
Why not just sit down and teach the poor girl why the men in her office want to help her move so badly?
There’s no fucking point.
Women will take whatever they’re given with a smile. They need to know when they’re supposed to get upset. That’s why a simple, “Yes,” works so well. There’s no mumbling or nonsense. You didn’t do anything wrong anyway so there’s nothing to get upset about.
This brings me to a point about why women consider it their job to raise children. Children give obvious clues when they’re supposed to be punished. A child might throw food on the floor or defecate on the wall. At that point a woman knows to punish the child. The same works in relationships. If you act like you didn’t do anything wrong, you didn’t.
Two hundred Man Points.
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Chris AND MarkEMark=Mr. Empty-pants
Actually, that’s battery, assault is the threat of violence, which actually, there is because he said that… so it’s assault AND battery. No, wait, he didn’t threaten anyone with it, he was just stating his opinion. So, I (a man, (sarcasm) no way) was right.
Kezia, you are obviously a fuck-tard. How can he satisfy her, IF SHE WON’T HAVE SEX WITH HIM? Tard.
WHY IS DIVORCE SO EXPENSIVE ? BECAUSE ITS WORTH IT !
Hormones. Hormones make men crave sex, and it’s a big deal because without sex there’s no humans, and sex feels awesome. It’s like Ice cream, you taste it, and it’s so good, you want more. Or a rollercoaster, you ride it, and it’s so fun, you want to ride it more. Only bastards, and psychos, hit women because they don’t have sex with’em.
Sex feels awesome… for men. Not for women, who are all frigid cunts.
Whoa…Clair…..
First of all, we NEED sex for reproduction.
Second of all it’s damn fun.
That’s why it’s a big deal.
C.U.N.T. = CANT UNDERSTAND NORMAL THINKING
Hahaha, oh wow.
Not to sound crude, but why does it seem like Nick (made a comment several weeks ago that “sex is sex…just a good way to keep me from bashing your head in with a rock for denying my manly urges”) is a rapist?
I have to admit that although I try to be relatively understanding when men get irritated with women, that’s a little extreme, and technically assault if you actually follow through with your comment..
I pity the woman you’re with.
and im gonna use my manliness to tell you to stfu cunt el oh el
…and technically that means, please step away from the keyboard.
This dude is like Tom Cruise in Magnolia, he’s charismatic and funny, but something’s got to be a little fucked up. He must hate his mother or something?
it is great to be a man!!!!!
I almost feel sorry for you
and it’s also a example of why not to go into the army, no respect at all. This man is working for the defense of the nation while his wife is pulling this and the only thing you can say is bullshit about pity sex?
Typical woman. “It’s YOUR fault for not sastifying her! You should be ashamed for being nice to your woman and loving her despite her childish tenancies, you horrible saint of a man you ”
And then they wonder why more and more men are hitting and quitting it instead of getting married, who would want to get married to that?
Poor baby, your wife doesn’t get turned on by you, and only gives you pity sex? That is indeed tragic. Do you not satisfy her? But wait, she’s actually nice enough to hide it in the hopes of not destroying your male-ego, ya gotta hand it her, right?
You’re pathetic for choosing a woman who can’t support herself in the first place, what does that tell you about yourself? IF she was actually independent, you would seem insanely superflous, would you not, seeing as uh, you can’t even SATISFY her sexually, so the least you can do is support her financially? But than again, this is the mess you chose when you were enough of an flaming imbecile to even MARRY at all.
Hopefully this was simple enough for your two brains cells to register….
The solution is obviously DIVORCE, free her… uh, I mean yourself, of your misery, ‘kay?
I agree. Completely. Looking is not cheating, so why the hell should it bother me or anyone? What’d I do next, yell at him for having porn?
@ Nick: Welcome aboard. We know that there are many men lurking this site. Feel free to join in and sign up at the forums.
IT HAPPENED AGAIN!!! I WENT TO CHAUVINISTOS PLACE (god I hate going there…it scares me so so much) AND I LOOKED AT THAT CHAT ROOM THINGY…AND LOW AND BEHOLD I WAS FRIGIN THERE!!! ITS NOT ME.
Give Nickster some Manly Man-Points or something. He’s finally stepped up to the plate and is playing T-ball with womens’ thinking.
I stand by that statement.
Are you fucking retarded are just plain naive? Sex is sex. It’s a wonderful expression of love if both people are open about themselves, otherwise it’s a good way for me not to bash your head with a rock for denying my man-urges.
I’ve been lurking for quite some time and I can honestly say that some of the female responses and thought processes are so archaic and rooted in some ‘lovey dovey’ notion of fairytales, diamonds, and eternal happiness. No wonder men are better than women.
Here here.
Well…no. But I don’t think you can equate humans to that. Even Ice-cream. I always thought sex was supposed to be all nice and lovey dovey, with someone you love. But since you love them, just being around them should be enough, shouldn’t it?
Yeah, but that’s if you’re emotionally secure and not selfish. Not many people in this world are brought up like that.
How much you want something is essentially proportional to how much you think about it. And most people think about sex a lot, due to constantly coming across images of it in day to day life. And more damaging, the way they learn to think about it usually utterly fails to take any concept of love into account, because they’re presented with images of sex involving people they don’t know and therefore don’t love at all. So people grow up thinking about sex a lot, thinking about it in a completely one-way what-does-it-do-for-me kind of way.
Well, that is because as a woman, you don’t understand basic economics.
For example (ice cream):
You just said that it is ok for me to buy a $50,000 a year non-functional ice cream cone. Maybe a cool ass Nestle Crunch Bar, whatever.
Now, I just bought this, it won’t work, it just lays there. But in a womans’ case, they do all that and bitch too.
So, it is NOT ok for me to buy that Ice Cream of superiour inferior quality and function and bitch about it not being worth a fuck.
By the way, I have a cherry ‘57 Chevy 2-Door Hardtop, for only $15,000.
Problem is, it won’t work, won’t start, won’t drive, but just sit there and whines when I turn it over…………..would YOU buy it?