Turkey Gobblers!
Women are obsessed with plastic surgery, and one of the fastest growing surgical trends this Thanksgiving is the rejuvenating, revitalizing, reinvigorating vaginoplasty.
The rejuvenating, revitalizing, reinvigorating vaginoplasty puts the “tight” in a twat; it takes the “loose” from a labia; it crams the “new” into a snootch; and it takes at least three kids off the odometer. When marriage counseling doesn’t work, and since women are too possessive to give threesomes a shot, they’re turning to the same thing that brought us taxes, Charles Manson, and the Vagina Monologues.
The vagina.
Nothing proves that women hate sex — while simultaneously being obsessed with it — like “the vaginoplasty”. Their obsession with sexual perfection consumes them and manifests in shame, hatred, and bitterness. Women are obsessed with their vaginas like that woman in Misery was obsessed with Stephan King. If it was legal, vaginas should all get restraining orders.
Women and their vaginas remind me of a man with a classic 1958 California Spyder Ferrari, who spends all day polishing it and talking dirty to it without ever taking it out for a test drive. What a waste.
At least the Ferrari is still good to look at.
Turkey Gobblers
Since women don’t want to use their vaginas, they’re trying to turn them into something a vagina will never be: easy on the eyes. I have news for you ladies out there. You can’t turn a turkey into a swan. You can’t turn a floppy whoopie cushion into The David. You can’t turn a turkey gobbler into a 16 year old clam, no matter how much bleaching some man is paying for.
Women are disgusted by themselves and stupid. Forget about makeup and perfume, they can’t even figure out what their vaginas are for.
They’re ATM’s, not works of art.
Vaginoplasties are like Viagra for women
False. Viagra is for women. Without Viagra thousands of men would leave their old, boring wives every year for young, hot ones who could put some lead in their pencil. Then they would use that pencil to sign the divorce papers.
A vagina is a lot like a boat. You dump tons of money into it and no matter how great it sounds, it’s only fun a few times a year during the summer. Otherwise, it’s a lot of expensive upkeep.
Women all over the country are trying to put some vitality back in their vag and some “clamp” back in their clams this season with expensive and risky plastic surgery. Since I know it’s not going to work, I’ve got a procedure women should try first which is guaranteed to improve their sexual attraction:
Shut up and hit a treadmill.
Happy Thanksgiving.
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November 25th, 2007 at 7:24 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
TRUE!!! Then again…that may require some form of thought process that goes beyond “Sleeping being = ME GETTING FUCKING LAID”
Most sentient beings a equipped with this kind of ability, unfortunately, he is not.
November 25th, 2007 at 7:27 am - IP Man-Hash: 46de44d9caf39
Don’t worry. He also has the intellectual capacity to scream cunt every 5 seconds…wait, does that take any form of intellect?
November 25th, 2007 at 7:29 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
No. no it doesn’t. Perhaps he is yet to develop sentience.
November 25th, 2007 at 7:32 am - IP Man-Hash: 46de44d9caf39
He is yet to develop a lot of things. Sentience, intellect, a knowledge that women don’t appreciate being raped while they sleep. It takes time to learn these things…
November 25th, 2007 at 7:35 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
No. He knows they don’t like it. He doesn’t care. This is because he hasn’t developed a Theory of Mind (ToM)…or perhaps he has…maybe I’m thinking of empathy
November 25th, 2007 at 7:38 am - IP Man-Hash: 46de44d9caf39
You when discussing an asshole, women might say that a guy thinks with his dick. I think that’s the only time Brooklyn ever thinks, and it’s not even Brooklyn. It’s miny (extremely mini) Brooklyn, and only if theres a sleeping girl aroung. Or goat. Or something that just looks tired. It screams SEX!!!!! to him
November 25th, 2007 at 7:39 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
Perhaps he has a form of dementia?
November 25th, 2007 at 7:42 am - IP Man-Hash: 46de44d9caf39
Perhaps he has a hard on because there are approximately over a billion women asleep in the world right now. Decisions decisions…
November 25th, 2007 at 7:46 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
Well he isn’t posting at the moment, so we never know…………..
November 25th, 2007 at 7:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 46de44d9caf39
If he truly was skilled, he could rape sleeping women and goats, and still post, but alas, he has priorities
November 25th, 2007 at 8:04 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
Damn straight he does, he only goes for white goats. Remeber, he said he has a dislike for “creamys” and “porch monkeys”. He dosent like his fuckables any otha colour than white.
November 25th, 2007 at 8:04 am - IP Man-Hash: 58c22c894b2d2
Either it was open day at the asylum, or they now too have internet access.
November 25th, 2007 at 8:08 am - IP Man-Hash: 46de44d9caf39
Likes his women and goats like he likes his coffee. And he needs a lot of coffee to stay awake while the rest to to sleep
November 25th, 2007 at 8:12 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
DAY?! Brooklyn wont be happy…..thats when people are awake…….
November 25th, 2007 at 8:16 am - IP Man-Hash: 46de44d9caf39
Unless they’re drunk. Then they’re ready
November 25th, 2007 at 8:40 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
True. Passed out drunk preferably. :P
God ur a sicko brooklyn
November 25th, 2007 at 8:42 am - IP Man-Hash: 46de44d9caf39
Hey. They were in the wrong. They shouldn’t have passed out. Stupid women. What do they know? They should have been prepared
Goddam ur a sick cunt
November 25th, 2007 at 10:12 am - IP Man-Hash: b9aaa2c357f5d
Are you a Beta-Fuck by any chance Ben? Nice little Mangina are you? I don’t promote rape but I don’t promote Betas either.
November 25th, 2007 at 10:27 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
How the hell is a man fine with women being treated the same as men, and against rapists a beta? Please do tell
November 25th, 2007 at 10:38 am - IP Man-Hash: 58f66b0866fa9
Ben is another female who wants to be a man.