Turkey Gobblers!
Women are obsessed with plastic surgery, and one of the fastest growing surgical trends this Thanksgiving is the rejuvenating, revitalizing, reinvigorating vaginoplasty.
The rejuvenating, revitalizing, reinvigorating vaginoplasty puts the “tight” in a twat; it takes the “loose” from a labia; it crams the “new” into a snootch; and it takes at least three kids off the odometer. When marriage counseling doesn’t work, and since women are too possessive to give threesomes a shot, they’re turning to the same thing that brought us taxes, Charles Manson, and the Vagina Monologues.
The vagina.
Nothing proves that women hate sex — while simultaneously being obsessed with it — like “the vaginoplasty”. Their obsession with sexual perfection consumes them and manifests in shame, hatred, and bitterness. Women are obsessed with their vaginas like that woman in Misery was obsessed with Stephan King. If it was legal, vaginas should all get restraining orders.
Women and their vaginas remind me of a man with a classic 1958 California Spyder Ferrari, who spends all day polishing it and talking dirty to it without ever taking it out for a test drive. What a waste.
At least the Ferrari is still good to look at.
Turkey Gobblers
Since women don’t want to use their vaginas, they’re trying to turn them into something a vagina will never be: easy on the eyes. I have news for you ladies out there. You can’t turn a turkey into a swan. You can’t turn a floppy whoopie cushion into The David. You can’t turn a turkey gobbler into a 16 year old clam, no matter how much bleaching some man is paying for.
Women are disgusted by themselves and stupid. Forget about makeup and perfume, they can’t even figure out what their vaginas are for.
They’re ATM’s, not works of art.
Vaginoplasties are like Viagra for women
False. Viagra is for women. Without Viagra thousands of men would leave their old, boring wives every year for young, hot ones who could put some lead in their pencil. Then they would use that pencil to sign the divorce papers.
A vagina is a lot like a boat. You dump tons of money into it and no matter how great it sounds, it’s only fun a few times a year during the summer. Otherwise, it’s a lot of expensive upkeep.
Women all over the country are trying to put some vitality back in their vag and some “clamp” back in their clams this season with expensive and risky plastic surgery. Since I know it’s not going to work, I’ve got a procedure women should try first which is guaranteed to improve their sexual attraction:
Shut up and hit a treadmill.
Happy Thanksgiving.
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November 25th, 2007 at 3:41 am - IP Man-Hash: 46de44d9caf39
I would never imagine using it as a verb, noun, even an adverb. But he did it.
November 25th, 2007 at 3:49 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
And with such grace. Don’t you look upon his posts with absolute awe?
November 25th, 2007 at 3:50 am - IP Man-Hash: 46de44d9caf39
He approaches his life with absolute grace. In every aspect, from wooing sleeping females to the random cuss to people he’d never be able to talk to were he not behind a computer. What a proud speciman
November 25th, 2007 at 4:06 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
I know!!! I mean, he’s got it down.
November 25th, 2007 at 4:12 am - IP Man-Hash: 46de44d9caf39
I shall take lessons from this man.
November 25th, 2007 at 4:36 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
Well Lesson Number One:
“When a maiden fair
Slumbers softly
Strip her bear
and mount her promptly”
Easy enough Ben?
November 25th, 2007 at 4:38 am - IP Man-Hash: 46de44d9caf39
I dont know. How easy is it to take advantage of someone whose not conscious? I dont think I have the strength to do that
November 25th, 2007 at 4:40 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
Oh…you mean your not a sick perverted bastard that gets off on fucking women as they sleep?
Well…ignore that rule then.
November 25th, 2007 at 4:44 am - IP Man-Hash: 46de44d9caf39
No, I must become a sick perverted bastard that gets off on fucking women as they sleep. THis is what the readers of this site herald. You don’t understand Clair, I need these man points
November 25th, 2007 at 4:48 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
Oh..I see your dilemma.
November 25th, 2007 at 5:11 am - IP Man-Hash: b9aaa2c357f5d
Well I’ll say one thing about Brooklyn. He’s right what he says about dirty western bitches. Couldn’t agree more. Manpoint’s given.
November 25th, 2007 at 5:18 am - IP Man-Hash: 46de44d9caf39
Ok, just for arguments sake, can you name for me every fault you find in Western society, if only for shits and giggles
November 25th, 2007 at 6:45 am - IP Man-Hash: 9cebcfc8ad687
Fuck Women. Fuck them hard. Then fuck them off. The best sex I ever had was with a really hot slut who was passed out drunk. Fucking great. Didn’t have to listen to her fucking yelping voice box make sounds, didn’t have to please her, because that is not what sex is for. It is for dumping a hot load of microscopic sperm in some cunt’s cunt. Men have stood by and allowed women to ruin the fucking world. You cannot find a chick today to have children with without ending up in a scenario where you are in the delivery witnessing your first born son roll out of some coke can sized former public toilet of a cunt. All these cunts with cunts today possess not a shred of the attributes that women had for millennia that got us to where man was before the collapse of the 1960s and onwards. NO MAN wants his first born son to be incubated in some drink sodden 36 year old former career climber cunt, he does not want her ruined contraceptive pill taking for 15 years dna to generate his first born son out of an organism that has lived to get up each day and pretend to be a man in an office, and by weekends wash the cocks with their filthy cigarette and drink sodden pussy juice. There is NO WOMAN fit to breed in the west anymore. No woman at all. What a disgusting waste of resources it is spending millions to track down sexual predators and pedos because these ‘pure’ little ‘protected’ girls are just going to within seven years of being molested, voluntarily vomit out their virtue on the sidewalk after having their anal virginity taken in 8th grade. By 22 years of age, the average western woman’s filthy public cunt, has gone from being society’s most special, protected, pure, life giving, magical, personal, intimate part of the human birth life cycle, to a mere disease ridden hallway, wide enough, loose enough, and filthy enough, so that the only thing fucking it resembles is the sight of throwing a handful of raw sausages down a bowling lane. The sound is the same too. Women!!! Listen the fuck up cunts! We don’t want to fuck a graveyard of aborted fetuses anymore. NO. We don’t want our first born son entering this fucked up world through fleshy walls that have played host to the jacked up sexual domination of dozens of one night stands. We won’t stand for it anymore. We can’t do nothing about it sure. But we can tell you you fucking disgust us and we can remind you of one cardinal truth…. SOME DIRT DOESN’T WASH OFF. No matter how hard you scrub. When was the last wedding day kiss that involved a newlywed wife’s mouth that hadn’t played host to a football team worth hard stinking sweaty cock. You filthy, dirty, sluts. Are a fucking…utter disgrace…and you are all whores…and I don’t want some grain of sand from some other guy’s foreskin that you fucked on the beach last night sliding into my urethra while you bend over and take it like the rotten CUNT that you are.
I posted this again to erase your inane blather from page one CUNTs. And again Claire, I would leave you with this…. I posted it three times because you faggots and sluts have nothing better to say than abovementioned brilliant diatribe
I would sincerely like to introduce your soft pallet to the finest Israeli machine gun ever made.
November 25th, 2007 at 6:55 am - IP Man-Hash: 46de44d9caf39
…The more you talk about it, the more I hope you get arrested and raped in prison
November 25th, 2007 at 6:57 am - IP Man-Hash: 105b9136f157d
Man, this Brooklyn dude is a faggot
November 25th, 2007 at 7:01 am - IP Man-Hash: 46de44d9caf39
No he’s not. His obvious sexual orientation is sleeping women
November 25th, 2007 at 7:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 105b9136f157d
my mistake Ben
November 25th, 2007 at 7:15 am - IP Man-Hash: 46de44d9caf39
It’s officially 12:15 am in Australia. Which means there must be a lot of sleeping women around. If only Brooklyn was here
November 25th, 2007 at 7:18 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
He’d have the time off his life. Then again….there aint many goats here with whipped cream sundaes on their backs, so he’s gotta take the good with the bad
November 25th, 2007 at 7:20 am - IP Man-Hash: 46de44d9caf39
Yes, but there are a lot of sleeping women. What he could do was practice being quiet with the goat for his 3 seconds of fun, and when he becomes good enough to do it with the stealth and precision of some form of rapist ninja, go for the sleeping women. He can take the goat with him for freaky three way sleeping rape antics