Vaginas Might Be Causing Global Warming
Does science know for certain that women’s vaginas aren’t causing global warming?
I doubt it.
Think about it. Women’s vaginas smell ridiculous. That’s gotta be bad for the environment somehow. Until I read a study saying otherwise, that’s what I’m going with. It’s common sense.
Sleeping in a freshly painted closet is bad for you. I don’t need any science to tell me that. I just need my nose. The nose knows. That’s how I feel about vaginas.
Cows are wrecking the environment somehow. They produce ungodly amounts of methane. I don’t need any fucking science to know that ungodly amounts of chemicals is a bad thing for Mother Nature. Just look at any woman over fifty with a Botox addiction. That’s the face of a mature lady with a chemical problem.
Ask any scientist and he’ll tell you the following. There’s a whole lot of shit around the Earth that keeps sun beam death rays from from melting us. Instead, they bounce off and hurtle harmlessly into space, like women and their shameless sexual advances on me after reading everything I say on this website. That shit is called the atmosphere when it’s on the Earth and self respect when it’s on yours truly.
Well some people say the atmosphere is getting fucked with. That means there’s a problem. If I know anything, it’s that when there’s a problem, some woman is causing it somewhere. Either she’s clicked a bunch of pornography on your computer and fucked it up, or she’s ruined yet another one of your shirts by washing it improperly or spilling bleach all over all of your shorts. That’s why men aren’t grateful for the chores women do. Eventually they fuck up all your stuff in some stupid way and it all evens out.
It’s like insurance. I don’t send Geico a Christmas present for replacing my car stereo. I don’t thank women for the same reason.
Women and their vaginas are probably either ruining the ozone layer or contributing to the Greenhouse Effect. I don’t see how no one thought of this before.
Exhibit A
Women have separate cleaning products for their fucking vaginas. There’s no special penis soaps. And if there are, please let me know about them because it sounds like I might be missing out on something.
Does Tag Body Spray have special penis soaps? They ought to with their fucking commercials with women flying out of everywhere like Spiderman and tackling guys wearing perfume. That’s not manly at all. Those commercials are designed to sell women that shit.
Exhibit B:
I researched for hours and could not find a single shred of evidence that did not link women’s vaginas to any detrimental effects that might be currently taking place on the environment and the atmosphere. I did, however, find numerous complaints about vaginas in general.
When you move into a crappy apartment, you might see some cracks in the wall and some peeling paint, but for every problem you do see there are a thousand you don’t.
Women can’t drive, women can’t behave, women got Joey Buttafuoco thrown in prison. I’m seeing a lot of problems here, but what am I not seeing?
You guessed it.
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May 16th, 2007 at 5:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: 074743c03628c
More dumbfuck college talk.
May 16th, 2007 at 6:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: a195d2c8d4a47
Rubbish, all of it.
Wrong. “Many” women may single most of their lives, but that’s very few compared to majority who have an innate “need” to have a man in order to feel “complete”. Most women are so insecure, they can only feel like a human being by having a parasitic relationship with a man. Pathetic. This may not be your experience, but it certainly is for most women.
Most women desire men who can provide for them. Most men desire women who are fun to fuck and will take care of the domicile while they’re away. They mutual attraction is money on one side and physical attractiveness and cooking and cleaning skills on the other.
The reason this is a stereotype is because it’s largely based on truth. It does not apply 100% of the time, but MOST of the time.
And what about couples that choose not to reproduce? Men should never marry, even when they want children. Marriage has *nothing* to offer men.
“Emotional compatibility?” What kind of talk is that?
What kind of men are you talking about? I won’t even bother to refute that. Most men on this site know this is ridiculous.
MOST women think themselves superior to men and MOST women treat men poorly when they think they can get away with it. It’s up to men to act like they have a pair and stand up for themselves against parasitic, bitchy women.
May 16th, 2007 at 10:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3c8b05bf321cc
““Many” women may single most of their lives, but that’s very few compared to majority who have an innate “need” to have a man in order to feel “complete”. Most women are so insecure, they can only feel like a human being by having a parasitic relationship with a man.”
The majority of men marry as well. I think the reason is not a need to feel complete as a person (I know plenty of single women who are perfectly happy that way, but then, I’m not really of marrying age yet), but because people eventually desire stability, or because they want to raise a family, etc.
“Most women desire men who can provide for them. Most men desire women who are fun to fuck and will take care of the domicile while they’re away. They mutual attraction is money on one side and physical attractiveness and cooking and cleaning skills on the other.”
Those are desireable qualities, but the idea that that’s the only reason people marry is a bleak viewpoint. (And, frankly, unnecessary, since women now work and men now cook/clean.) What about lifelong companionship? Someone to raise a family with? I realize many, many marriages do not fit the ideal, but those who marry are looking for that ideal. Believe it or not, there are people who fall in love and marry for that reason. My point was that heterosexual people of either gender seem to be mentally/emotionally attracted to the opposite gender in some way, as well as sexually, obviously.
“Men should never marry, even when they want children. Marriage has *nothing* to offer men.”
Didn’t you say elsewhere you were married?
“MOST women think themselves superior to men and MOST women treat men poorly when they think they can get away with it. ”
I don’t agree that most women are that way. For the ones that are, well, if they aren’t good companions (supportive, loyal, etc.) and desireable in other ways (intelligent, interesting, caring, etc.) then they have nothing to offer a marriage, and then I’d agree that they’ve made themselves obselete.
May 17th, 2007 at 4:41 am - IP Man-Hash: 845f4e3636564
So damn true. Unmarried fathers never have to put up with the shit that divorced fathers endure. I’m not married, and I will never marry. Reading this site has helped me tremendously. When I observe the hell that perfectly good men have to go through just to have some semblance of a connection with their children I am often heartbroken. I vow to never let that happen to me.
May 17th, 2007 at 5:53 am - IP Man-Hash: dc4b477cfd13b
Well, here’s the thing: all of what you say sounds nice and rosy and in a perfect world, you’d be right. This is not, however, a perfect world.
In the world outside my window, the overwhelming majority of women …
No, I’ve got to amend that. Not the overwhelming majority: it’s all women.
Every single woman I’ve met, ever, was interested in marrying because she couldn’t bear the thought of living her life alone. In thinking back, there has been no other motivating factor. There have been times when I thought there was, but the more I got to know the woman, the more I realized that whatever she said was motivating her was a rationalization on her part.
It may be bleak, but the universe is what it is, not what you want it to be.
Again, one of the two most useful life lessons that I learned from my father:
The universe is what it is, not what we want it to be.
The other most useful life lesson I learned from my father was that axiom’s corollary:
Life isn’t fair.
The sooner one internalizes those two principles, the happier one is.
Yes. Exactly. So what is it that a woman brings to a relationship? Sex. Reproduction. That’s all.
Women as a group make poor companions. They are thrilled to be doing whatever they want to do — whether the man wants to do it or not. The moment the reverse is true, women will drag their feet, make no attempt to hide their disdain for the activity, and will use psychological tactics to exact revenge on the man for forcing them to engage in it.
Women as a group make poor parents. I point you to the single most destructive attitude a parent can have, but which is prevalent in women of my generation (mid-40s) and later:
The kids can’t be happy unless I’m happy.
The depth of selfishness inherent in that statement speaks volumes. If you don’t have a knee-jerk reaction of utter revulsion when you hear that statement, then you’re a bad parent.
My father — a clinical psychologist who specializes in marriage counseling — informs me that virtually all of his female patients my age and younger believe that their children’s happiness is dependent on their own. You have to move into my mother’s generation to find women willing to remain in a less than perfect marriage so that their children will have an intact family.
To summarize: women are poor companions and selfish, hurtful parents. As you note, they no longer have domestic skills any greater than a man.
What, therefore, do women bring to a relationship? Sex and reproduction. That’s all.
Didn’t you say elsewhere you were married?
I’m sure he is/was. So was I. Nothing will clear your mind of the total lack of benefits of marriage to men than actually being married.
Only a man who is a fool would get married in this day and age. Period. You can get the one thing a woman brings to the relationship (sex and reproduction) without marrying her.
In point of fact, being married to her absolutely guarantees that the sex will end in short order. Women use sex to attract men, but the moment the woman believes she has all the children she wants, sex ends. Without the motivation of attracting and keeping the man, sex for a woman becomes simply a means to have children. Once that’s been satisfied, she has no reason to have sex again.
It sounds harsh, but every married man will tell you that his sex life essentially ended the moment the woman had all the children she wanted. Again, the universe is what it is, not what we want it to be.
May 17th, 2007 at 7:30 am - IP Man-Hash: 3c8b05bf321cc
“Every single woman I’ve met, ever, was interested in marrying because she couldn’t bear the thought of living her life alone.”
Truly I think most men wouldn’t want to be alone the rest of their lives either (yes, I know, the men on this site who have been screwed over by women will probably readily disagree).
“Yes. Exactly. So what is it that a woman brings to a relationship? Sex. Reproduction. That’s all.”
Well, no. If she’s a good woman, you marry her because you want her as a lifelong companion. When I marry, it will hardly be because I want financial support and I doubt my husband will marry me for my cooking skills. People do actually marry for love.
“Women as a group make poor companions. They are thrilled to be doing whatever they want to do — whether the man wants to do it or not. The moment the reverse is true, women will drag their feet, make no attempt to hide their disdain for the activity, and will use psychological tactics to exact revenge on the man for forcing them to engage in it.”
Now, come on, how many women have to drag their husbands kicking and screaming to some event? Plenty of men won’t engage in activities they dislike either without a lot of complaining. In my parents marriage my mom is a lot more willing to put up with that type of thing than my dad is. It’s selfish, but I think that both genders are guilty of it. Really, if you aren’t willing to make sacrifices in a relationship/marriage, you shouldn’t be in one.
“You have to move into my mother’s generation to find women willing to remain in a less than perfect marriage so that their children will have an intact family.”
I’ll agree that this is sad and often true. Some marriages might be tumultuous enough that a divorce is better for the children than an intact family, however, and I know people of divorced parents that turned out well, particularly if the child lives with and is close to both parents (though I think in the vast majority of cases, if divorce can be avoided, it is much better for the children).
“You can get the one thing a woman brings to the relationship (sex and reproduction) without marrying her.”
Are we assuming the couple stays together unmarried? A couple living together for a long period of time with children is pretty close to a marriage. If the alternative is, however, staying completely alone throughout your life, or dating in a superficial way, I think that marriage is the better choice (if you marry a good woman).
May 17th, 2007 at 8:17 am - IP Man-Hash: c46011aeb3b2a
Nice analysis, DS. Very well said.
Alex, I didn’t even read your blathery post. Knock it off.
May 17th, 2007 at 8:28 am - IP Man-Hash: 30bb54972ba49
I read it and she believes that there are good women out there. As if they are abundant. My guess is she still believes in Santa too.
May 17th, 2007 at 11:53 am - IP Man-Hash: dc4b477cfd13b
This may be difficult for you to believe, but this is one of those areas where men and women are simply different. I’ve never met a man who agoinized over the notion that he might not get married and have a woman to spend his life with.
Every woman I’ve met has agonized about the reverse.
Yes, we prefer company and human contact, but we’re not going to agonize about it if we don’t get it.
Addressed above. There is no such thing as a “good woman”, therefore they aren’t good companions — particularly not for your entire life.
Yes, I know, you consider yourself a good woman and believe that you know others. Perhaps — I don’t know you well enough to know one way or another. All I know is that in 42 years on planet Earth, I’ve never met one. Every time I thought I had, I turned out to be wrong.
I won’t say that it doesn’t happen. I do think that in general, you have to work hard to get a man to be as disrespectful of his wife’s activities as a wife generally is of her husband’s as a matter of course. There have been lots of things my ex and girlfriends have wanted to do that I didn’t think was much fun. It takes forcing me to see Bridget Jones’ Diary or taking me shopping to really get under my skin about the pointlessness of it. I don’t think I’m particularly unusual in this regard.
This is a sentiment that you should be relaying to your female friends. ;)
Very few. The overwhelming majority of marriages fall apart because the woman simply isn’t committed to it beyond getting the number of children she wants.
Sure, why not.
It’s not remotely the same thing — particularly in terms of the law. I know I’d be in much better shape if I’d simply lived with my ex for 13 years instead of marrying her. For that matter, we might still be together because lacking the ball-and-chain of marriage, she’d've been forced to continue to work at keeping me around. What happens in most marriages is that the woman stops bothering to try to keep the man interested and instead treats him simply as a source of manual labor and money.
And I’m not the only one who says this. Read The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. This is entirely commonplace in marriages.
Again, I’ll let you know when I actually find one. Given that I’m statistically past the midpoint of my life without finding one yet, I’d say the odds of finding one in the second half is probably lower than my first half.
May 17th, 2007 at 12:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: a2b60112f904f
“The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger”
Good book reference dude!
May 17th, 2007 at 4:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: 71eaeac99a872
How strange, in my experience and observation it is the other way around.
May 17th, 2007 at 10:58 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3a8cd1479aff5
How strange, in my experience and observation it is the other way around.
Man, dearie. Men are not intimidated by girls.
May 18th, 2007 at 2:29 am - IP Man-Hash: 30bb54972ba49
Lol
What has a woman ever sacrificed other than her virginity?
And now they even have reconstructive surgery so the women can lie even more than before she was plucked.
May 18th, 2007 at 8:23 am - IP Man-Hash: c46011aeb3b2a
How strange, in my experience and observation it is the other way around.
The simple fact of the matter is generally men DO NOT agonize about having a partner. Women do. Men feel complete within their own skin. Women need to have a parasitic relationship with a man to make them feel like they have a personality of their own.
If most men weren’t so brainwashed by their parents that having a girlfriend or getting married was “they way it’s done”, they would be much, much happier by themselves. Marriage has nothing to benefit men.
Female, you’re delusional. I think you’re projecting your own beliefs on everyone else. Perhaps that’s how it happens in your own chicky la-la land in your head, but in the real world, men don’t obsess over having a partner. Women do.
May 18th, 2007 at 1:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: fecff644282fd
How strange, in my experience and observation it is the other way around.
You really need to stop Female, you rarely make any sense at all, and you backstep constantly.
Men get nothing from a marriage, and more guys are realizing it…finnaly. In fact there is a young man in my office, hes only 22, and he has already sworn of marriage. I asked him why. He said “I want to live my own life”.
I was so proud!
May 18th, 2007 at 1:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: c587a88804e5c
Introduce him to this site.
May 24th, 2007 at 12:23 am - IP Man-Hash: d4249a379979d
It’s too bad you don’t like vaginas. Perhaps you’re jealous that they don’t like you? Or maybe you’re threatened by femininity? Is there any evidence that penis’s don’t cause global warming as well? Seeing as this a global issue that affects us all we should be equal in the blaming of human genitalia. Does this also include vaginas from different animals inhabiting this VAGINA invested planet? Is there a scientific source other than your all knowingness?
I however have another theory:
A. you’re a big ugly and know woman would come near you or
B. Maybe it’s because you’re gay! GAY!
That is all
Cuthbert Higgensbottom
May 24th, 2007 at 12:52 am - IP Man-Hash: d4fa8b220332f
Do you have any scientific evidence or sources for your deduction? No, now fuck off.
May 24th, 2007 at 1:15 am - IP Man-Hash: 43a4156f06dc7
Dear the (presumably) gentleman who composed this article.
I have just given your article a complete viewing and I must say that almost instantly I disagreed with your statements as quickly as my eyes uncovered them.
I am the proud, pleasurable owner of what scientists (and you) like to call a vagina and I have delivered through it two children. My vagina has the distinct odor of roses… I know because I spray it with deoderant at the start of each day. In reference to your quote “Women’s vaginas smell ridiculous. That’s gotta be bad for the environment somehow”, I must say, when any human of any biological sex passes wind through their anus, an adjective you may use for the consequent entity in the air is “ridiculous”. And we commonly refer to this product as “gas”. Do you not think that human beings and cows should renounce the passing of this potentially world-threatening phenomenon commonly categorized as “farting”?
This is but my opinion. You may not have to agree. And may I ask, in reference to your complain about a lack of penal care products on the market, have you not ever had a sexual partner swear off intercourse with you at the sight of dick cheese? Maybe you are privileged with circumcision. My husband eats “dick cheese” and I enjoy it with my wine.
Sincerely.
May 24th, 2007 at 5:16 am - IP Man-Hash: 3a8cd1479aff5
Maybe I could stick my cock in your mouth to shut you up. That would show you exactly how gay I am -and- it would finally clog up that wind hole of yours. You have one purpose, and as you have demonstrated, it most certainly isn’t to go bitching around places you don’t belong.
And yet girls go get drunk wearing a shread of clothing, tease the men around them, and wonder why they wake up the next morning naked in a ditch. Those are just facts - now have fun, after all, girls like sex right?