Weddings are Golden Toilets…Flush
Is it any surprise to no one that a woman’s second favorite past-time: having a wedding, is a huge waste of time and money?
It sure is.
Or it sure isn’t. I’m not really sure how to answer that question, so I’ll just say it. Weddings are a complete waste of time and money and are the stupidest thing that a new couple can do.
Let me give a hypothetical situation that may or may not have happened six thousand, five hundred times a day every day this year — in America alone.
Johnny Everyman (twenty-five years old with a degree in Business and Economics and a summer job selling kitchen knives) is going to enter into a bond of legal matrimony with Jill Princess-Complex (twenty-two with a degree in Art History and who has never had a job that earned more than minimum wage in her life). Sound familiar? You bet it does.
Is this new couple going to:
A) Put a down payment on a house with their savings and token gifts from family members and friends.
B) Elope for like a hundred bucks to beautiful and romantic Downtown Courthouse.
C) Have an extravaganzic gala that will drain their bank accounts, stock their kitchen with glitzy, over-priced wares from Eddie Bauer, and leave every moment in their relationship from that point on to lurk in the shadows of lost potential.
That’s why men think weddings are stupid. Because we’re better than women at starting a family and laying the foundations for a healthy relationship with a significant other. Call us all softies for it if you want, but it’s completely true.
Here’s fact that may surprise you in a fun way. Even on women’s home turf: weddings, men can run circles around them. For instance — you might want to step back for this one — how many women do you think know the 6 C’s of diamonds, the main ingredient to any engagement ring? As a man, I can just rattle them right off the top of my head and for all you know I’m not even married.
Cut
Clarity
Color
Certification
Carat
And of course the sixth C is the one wearing it.
The bottom line is that calling a comb “Indestructible” doesn’t make it so. It’s still just a plastic piece of shit that isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.
Next time you’re going to get married men, just think about it like this: Don’t.
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I for one am gratefull to you for showing me Im not wrong about women, you’ve done nothing here to support females.
Instead as someone else has said, you have single-handedly dropped the IQ of everyone reading this thread with your retorts that have no validity, there full of the same usuall crap. We must not be getting any sex or we got small penis… its so pathetic.
Men are far better than women, and to marry one is like shoving my head in boiler… now why would I want to do that? Sense all women are whores, why dont I just pay some bitch to suck me off and be done with it?
I hope you and your female buddies like working, cuz your days of being supported are coming close to an end.
There is no innuendo anywhere on this site. There is proof of the site’s premise, however, much of it now provided by yourself.
Regardless of your desperate assinine urges I have no desire to “have you”. My preferences run to intelligent, mature, decorous and subtle ladies while you score on none of these accounts.
Now fuck off this site.
Conclusive proof that men are better than women by making innuendos through out the website is invalid “proof” so to speak. What I call that is incessant state of denial. I know you want me. I want you too.
In sixty six minutes I can do three tax returns, make several thousand in returns for those clients and earn three hundred for myself completing said manly endeavour.
WomenAreBetter has posted fourteen times in sixty six minutes, contributed nothing of consequence aside from lowering the average IQ here by about fifty points, made an utter fool of herself and her gender and then pissed off as quickly as her broomstick could carry her fat, smelly arse.
I wonder if anybody has ever contributed so much to Dick’s cause. Well done WomenAreBetter. For anybody who has ever harboured any doubt you have provided conclusive proof that men are indeed better than women.
You’re right.
Fuck off my website.
-Dick
Dick, I have to agree. Weddings DO indeed suck. *Belch* Do you have a photograph, Dick? I bet you’re manliness is hot.
Bah! I cannot spell either!
Where did that variant spelling of ‘varient’ come from? Grrr!
no, men just can’t spell.
buyist and its varient of buyest and so on… that is…
What is this buyist media everyone keeps talking about…are we referring to shopping channels or something?
To all women who think they compete with men in a debate here. Goenjoy whatever buyest bit of media coverage you can get while still can :). Men are busy here working out ways to end it.
Thanks for proving my point, wolfe. I’ve never been to Anguilla, but Bequia was rather nice and peaceful.
Anguilla was pretty wonderful. The larger islands tend to be too crime-infested for my taste. Bequia was also great, though I gather its becoming developed. Alas.
Any place with no cruise ships stopping == good.
-wolfe
Jolly good, Female. That yanked a hardy laugh out of me. In return, I would like to bless you with our climate? Take? Please?
Diamatik - too windy, mon. Good music though.
K, I am going to imagine your wedding vows.
Celebrant or Minister or whatever: Do you, Sonyafterdark, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?
Sonyad: Sure, why not.
Celebrant: Then repeat after me, I, sonyad, take you (woman),
Sonyad: I, sonyad, will try and take you, woman
Celebrant: er… to be my (wife), to have and to hold from this day forward,
Sonyad: to maybe have and to possibly hold from this day forward,
Celebrant: mmmm, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
Sonyad: through the good and bad times, and maybe until I or you die first, cant give you a guarantee though.
Men loath vows for a very simple reason. As a man, a human being is naturally reticent about promising anything to anyone. Not for fear of commitment, as feminists would have you believe.
But for dread of the most improbable, ludicrous unlikely probability of not delivering on a promise or not being able to, of failure. I for example, steer well around any vow or promise. With utmost reluctance do I promise menial anything at all, from washing the car to buying more presentable clothes for some occasion or other. I only confidently promise to sometimes give some arbitrary task or endeavour my best effort.
Naturally, women have no such qualms and will promise you the Sun, the Moon and fidelity, then try not at all to come good on it.
I leave to you to assess which attitude is preferable.
I’m about to throw tact out of the window and make a plug for the Caribbean.
“Come to de islands in de West Indies, mon, and get hitched here. We got beaches, we got hotels, and we got sea shells.” Oh, and fyi, go to the larger islands or Barbados if you like to party. If you want total peace and quiet for a honeymoon you can visit the smaller islands.
Now that I have soiled my reputation, I’ll just go on the beach and eat a coconut.
With respect, I think this is a really pathetic view of life, family and marriage. It’s one that reduces women to disposable whorish gold-diggers. No, it doesn’t equate you to being pathetic — or disposable, or a gold-digger. It does suggest you’re hedonistic.
Female… you’re proving everything that Dick says — that women are short-sighted headless (in both senses of the word) hedonists.
-wolfe
I have responded to this on your blog in the Open Thread.
It’s called a sense of humour, Aaron. It’s this thing that involves laughing. It doesn’t matter to me that I may have been the butt of the joke, because I have this unuptightness ability to get over myself and appreciate the metaphorical imagery. You should try it sometime.