Crossing the Fucking Street

Men are better than women at crossing the street. Crossing the goddamn street.

At some point in the grand discourse of men and their being better than women, it’s not the new techniques which women employ to make spectacles and embarrassments of themselves. It’s the way their natural incompetence manifests itself in daily life. Or is that at every point in the discourse? Who cares.

Take something like a bag of shit. We can all agree that a bag of shit is a vile and bad thing, and not as good as say an orange or a bag of oranges — or a pair of oranges in sack. I think we know what I’m talking about.

But can a bag of crap irritate and annoy in new and interesting ways depending on the setting. Of course it can. You can put a bag of shit on a porch, on a car, how about on a street corner? Light it on fire and it’s a totally different game — an even worse game.

Well that’s what I’m talking about today. A five foot six bag of shit on fire, standing on the goddamn corner, and either crossing or not crossing the street while gabbing into her fucking cell phone.

Whenever you see a redheaded woman, you know you’re in to get fucked. Not proper fucked. I’m talking about the kind of fucked you are when you’re fifteenth in a string of cars trying to turn and some retarded baboon is standing on the corner gabbing away on her cell phone completely oblivious to the way every single fucking car in the line stops to see if she’s going to cross the street. It’s funny yes, but it’s not.

Women have absolutely no idea what kind of signals they send out. They’re like marionettes attached to paint mixers just flouncing along like wet rags with no brain. They never ask themselves things like, “Do I look like I’m about to cross the street?” or “Do I look like I’m trolling for cock?”

That was crass and I apologize. It’s exactly how women think though. And they think it all the time.

Men are completely the opposite. At all times, men are aware of ourselves and our role in our surroundings. That’s because if it had been some redheaded man standing on the corner and clusterfucking traffic for five minutes, eventually someone would have thrown a half-eaten hamburger or a Masterlock at the shmuck. Lesson learned, which it never had to be in the first place because we’re talking about a man.

So why isn’t the same courtesy shown to women? Why didn’t I throw my McDonald’s fries at the shrew? It matched her hair.

I’ll tell you why. It’s not because of some horseshit notion of chivalry or “equity” — whatever the hell that means. It’s because women can’t help it. They know it too. Next time you’re with a woman, keep track of how she behaves when other people are fucking up. Guess which sex gets her more outraged purely on acts of doing — purely on acts of holding everyone up due to stupidity.

Men. That’s because all women are misogynists. Wouldn’t you be?

Related Articles: