Why Women Hate Sex: Part 3

Here’s some science for your man ass.

It’s certainly not for your man penis because this science says women hate sex.

It turns out they’re allergic to it. Bullshit.

Some researchers at Jerk Idiots University (the University of Cincinnati) recently discovered that more than 10% of women have an allergy to sex. I should put researchers in quotes because I have no doubt these particular pioneers in the field of Frigid-ology and Excuse-ism are women. I’m not going to though because putting words in quotes when you don’t mean them is a passive aggressive and womanly thing to do. Ten Man Points for me.

This reminds me of when attention deficit disorder was unveiled to the world or the term “slow metabolism” was coined. It means 3 billion women just got their PhD’s in Not Even God Knows What and are itching to start diagnosing all over their fat selves. I can hear the chatter around tomorrow’s scone-circle even now as I write this.

“Did you see that headline about women being allergic to sex? I think craving chocolate is a symptom! I’m more allergic to sex than any woman has ever been! Aren’t I such a whore!”

I guess if these hypothetical women sitting around this hypothetical scone-circle are over the age of 35 you can omit that last bit about their Whore Power — unless they’re feminists, but why would feminists be talking about sex? None of them have gotten laid in like ten years. That’s why their heads are screwed on so fucking tight all the brains have been squeezed out. An empty tube of toothpaste is a perfect metaphor for the head of a feminist. Have you ever wanted to fuck an empty tube of toothpaste? I didn’t think so. QED.

You don’t need science or chemistry or other man things to “discover” women are allergic to sex. All you need is to have seen a woman being allergic to anything. My cousin is allergic to bees for example. One time I saw her slap one on her arm like a fucking idiot and she spent the next seven and a half minutes screaming her head off and clawing at anything in range until an authority figure intervened. Then it was twenty minutes of sobbing. If that doesn’t describe sex with a woman then I guess I didn’t know we were talking about seasoned prostitutes. Obviously there’s an allergy.

Women fuck up science all the time. They fuck it up on purpose like they fuck up everything because they don’t understand it. Take bachelor parties for example. Women fuck those up all the time because they don’t understand them. Clearly, what man-science has proven here is not that 10% of women have an allergy to sex, but that 100% of women hate sex so fucking much that 10% are willing to lie about an obviously fake physical handicap in order to get out of it.

Where the science comes into play is what percentage of women who are allergic to sex are also allergic to work. I hope it’s a lot of them because that’s the last thing the workplace needs.

Some — repeat some — women are allergic to sex.

Related Articles: