Why women hate sex.
Out of all the problems that have ever or will ever exist on the Earth, there is only one that men haven’t and will never be able to solve — not because they can’t, because that’s ridiculous, but because the problem is unsolvable by design. Women hate sex.
That’s it, there you have it. The end-all, be-all of cluster fucks. But why?
Do women hate sex — and they do — because of some kind of woman-guilt from an outdated puritan societal dogma? Or perhaps a stigma of guilt or a fear of abandonment? No. None of these things are it. Women hate sex simply because they are lousy at it.
This can be proved in a quick stroll down the checkout aisle at your local market of groceries — a place thick to the rafters with women. Take a look at some of their magazines and you will no doubt see a running theme: ‘Ten Ways to not suck in bed’, ‘Six Things to do to Your Man that aren’t Lay There Like a Futon’, and ‘Honestly who gives half a fuck about socks being on or off? Jesus Christ that’s pathetic’.
Also, much in the same way that a wall probably doesn’t like or doesn’t care about playing tennis with you, it’s definitely not your fault. Don’t let your sympathetic male compassion get the better of you. You could be dancing around like a maniac and pulling stunts out of your figurative ass like Johnny Magic the Wicked Awesome — maybe some whirl-arounds and in your face spikes from across the court — it’s really up to you as the man — but no matter what, the wall will remain unfazed. It just sits there doing nothing like a lump on a log probably thinking that it wants a new expensive coat of paint.
This same theory can be applied to many other things as well. For example: that women hate problems.
In Chinese, the symbol for crisis is the same as opportunity. I haven’t looked that up, but I heard it from a man so it’s probably true because us men have something called integrity. This means that in a time of crisis, we men are at our show stopping best. Take a flat tire on a moonless night for instance. While a man is out changing nuts and bolts and doing all manner of screwing on the side of the road, will a woman so much as think to grab a flashlight and help? No.
That’s because women hate holding flashlights, because they are complete rubbish at it. Force a woman to hold a flashlight when it matters and you’re likely to catch her aiming it into the sky for absolutely no goddamn reason. You’re better off just duct taping it to a mailbox and catapulting it into space.
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No, Female, I take no delight in attacking you, and I don’t believe I am doing so. I am attacking some of your arguments, yes.
So you choose to compare Dick’s writing to that of one of the strongest literary storytellers in the world because they share the same point of view.
OK.
I don’t think Dick is as good as you think he is… Chaucer was one of the major writers of the second millenium. I doubt Dick will be one of the major writers of the third millenium, but clearly you and I differ there. Fair enough.
I’m glad you think he is so good though. Given that, have you considered donating to The man-billboard?
-wolfe
Er, yes, which is why I compared Dick to him….did you actually think I was comparing quality? You seem overly keen to attack me usually. It’s getting old.
Dick: Lewis Black? Or am I missing something?
Female: So you’re comparing Dick (favorably) to one of the strongest literary storytellers in the world. Yes, I know the insult is in bad men/good women, but I rather think you’ve scored several own goals there.
Even in Chaucer, the point is that men are more important than women. We could say… men are better than women?
Still, in my praise of Dick, I shan’t go quite as far as saying he’s Chaucer or Shakespeare. I’ll leave that to you.
-wolfe
Just as there is something very Geoffrey Chaucer-like about yourself. Are you trying to finish the tales?
http://www.wsu.edu/~delahoyd/chaucer/LGW2.html
There is something very Louis Black about the way this article is written. Good job. Thats a man that tells it straight.
I have a general question:
Why do women keep posting here thinking that they change the views of people that have gone to a site called menarebetterthanwomen.com?
I came here when I searched Women Suck into google for fun, but I found a flood of turth rushing at me at a thousand miles per hour.
Woohoo for to much dumb description.
Maybe I will spell something wrong so a dumb bitch can come correct me to try to act smart.
Here you go ladies:
Opps I speeled a word wrong, prepare to correct me.
Or whats ever better is when I don’t make a mistake and they correct me.
Fink: Ladies are really dumb
Chick: Hey Fink, or should I say stupid, dumb is spelled dum, maybe you should read a dikshonary or something
And yes I spelled dictionary wrong on purpose so shut you piehole women.
Back to my main point: ladies the only people that will agree with you on this site is other women and some men that have a lady they want to impress by sticking up for these bitches on the internet.
Dumb Male: Hey look Jenny, a site that says ladies are dumb
Jenny: Oh no, do something
Dumb Male: Seeing as I am so strong I will post
Dumb Male: Hey Dick, or should I say DICK! this is the worst site ever and should be taken down because it is dumb and i dont like it how can you treat womam like that your a sexist im goingto come to your house and beat you up cuz your just a little kid who lives with his mother and has a small penis or non at all!!!! LOL! you sucker!
Dumb Male: See Jenny I really am a man
Jenny: Oh dumb male I’m glad I’m going out with out lets kiss
Dumb Male: eww cooties
Next point: Women, why do you over use a thesaurus and dumb adjectives when you’re posting to try to look smart, for example:
Hello humans who are male, how can you “people” be so unintelligent. Can not you be addionally affectionate? Everyone on this planet of Earth, third planet from what we call the sun, has to share with each other, we can not accommodate being cantankerous.
WHAT?! Speak english bitch or translate
Hi guys, why are you dumb, can’t you be nice. Don’t be mean
After that then we can tell you how dumb you are, you don’t have to use “colorful” language, because you think it makes you should like you’re not dumb as a box of rocks.
Female: I bet Fink is gay and no women like him, he just masterbates all day
Next point: seeing as women never have a good point that shows us men as being wrong (because we never are) they have to make stuff up about our personal life for their “great” comeback
Last point for now because I am hungry: I hate how women always make a big deal about how a female is a female when they find out that there have been people in history that are female
For example:
Lady: Speaking of Hilary Clinton, who happens to be female, and a strong female at that, I mean this female is such a great female person. Females have always been discriminated against, but when I find such a strong female as Hilary “Woman” Clinton im just impressed, did you know that Joan of Arc was a woman, not a MAN, but a woman, woman, female, woman
STOP! We get the point that Hilary Clinton is a female, us Men don’t go Speaking of Bill Clinton, who happens to be male, and strong, male
No because we ar not insanely dumb!
Last part: I know how hard it is for you females to type I will anticipate your rebuttle:
Female: We type just fine, you are suk at tyuping
Lady: Fink is a woman! lol! who has no balls!
Bitch: Men are dumb, stop bein g male!
Chick: I do not operate a thesaurus when I am using a keyboard, I use my own cranium
Ho: Dumb Male sounds like the perfact man
Lady: HAHAHA LOLOL!OL! WEN YOU WAERE TALKING ABOUT SPELING YOU SPELLED SPELLED WRONG YOU SAID SPEELED LOLOLOLOLOL MENS ARE NOT SMARTER
Chick: Fink has a lack of genatalia
Hey steve, would you can the shit already? I am sure there is someone in your life that loves you being a complete moron however, no on here does. Get to the point or get the fuck out of here.
LOL! This site gets better and better!! I love being a complete idiot!! Its amazing fun!! Especially like annoying the managers! Men and women rule!! Wibble!
When have I said I hated women?
-Dick
I guess Dick is showing his true form again! If he really hated women, how would he know what sex was like with them? He must of been with at least one! Not all women are princesses. some can be animals, but we love them for it! A true sexual relationship does’nt just mean sticking your cock up some womans fanny, there is so much more to it than that. Like LOVE, TRUST, COMAPNIONSHIP. All the things you seem to miss in your life Dick. Women are not there to ne hated, they are there to be cherished. In that case, why did I come here? I thought this site was a joke (and in fact it is really) and I thought no man could really be serious about hating women, but I guess I was wrong. You ned to get youself sorted, mate and start to grow up a bit. Women will ALWAYS be around you wherever you go! (unless you stay at home for the rest of your life!) Maybe one day you will grow to love them, but if you keep going on the way you do you will just end up some saddo, sat on a park bench with a bottle of budweiser in one hand and his Dick (no pun inteneded) in the other!
Why doesn’t the woman’s expertise factor into it? Surely if a man is good he can satisfy a poorly performing woman. Why does this not apply in reverse?
Oh I remember why. Because women are shit at everything and act like little princesses, and because you madam are sexist.
-Dick
Maybe the women you know hate sex but I have been a woman all my life and I love it. Perhaps it is because the man I married knows what he is doing and those of you who think we hate it don’t know what you are doing. Could that be it?
Blondie, fuck off my site. That makes no sense.
-Dick
No, its using what men have the most of, logic. The fact that women are incubators has no bearing on the fact that men are better than women.
Bottom line: you don’t send your baby-carriers to war. They’re too important to the race to endanger.
Dakota Smith
Dakota Smith, Sorry but doesn’t this comment say women are better than men.
Blondie
Someone’s been reading Female’s posts…
-Big Al
In a Man-Zen sort of way, defending the feminist agenda is the most misogynistic thing you can possibly do — other than have sex with two “lesbians” at the same time.
-Dick
This is true……but my gut tells me that it is a mangina, looking for the “wink and nod”, that comes with defending feminist’s poisoned views.
Can’t Joey also be a girl’s name?
-Dick
Ahhhh…..another mangina steps up to the plate.