Why women hate sex.

Out of all the problems that have ever or will ever exist on the Earth, there is only one that men haven’t and will never be able to solve — not because they can’t, because that’s ridiculous, but because the problem is unsolvable by design. Women hate sex.

That’s it, there you have it. The end-all, be-all of cluster fucks. But why?

Do women hate sex — and they do — because of some kind of woman-guilt from an outdated puritan societal dogma? Or perhaps a stigma of guilt or a fear of abandonment? No. None of these things are it. Women hate sex simply because they are lousy at it.

This can be proved in a quick stroll down the checkout aisle at your local market of groceries — a place thick to the rafters with women. Take a look at some of their magazines and you will no doubt see a running theme: ‘Ten Ways to not suck in bed’, ‘Six Things to do to Your Man that aren’t Lay There Like a Futon’, and ‘Honestly who gives half a fuck about socks being on or off? Jesus Christ that’s pathetic’.

Also, much in the same way that a wall probably doesn’t like or doesn’t care about playing tennis with you, it’s definitely not your fault. Don’t let your sympathetic male compassion get the better of you. You could be dancing around like a maniac and pulling stunts out of your figurative ass like Johnny Magic the Wicked Awesome — maybe some whirl-arounds and in your face spikes from across the court — it’s really up to you as the man — but no matter what, the wall will remain unfazed. It just sits there doing nothing like a lump on a log probably thinking that it wants a new expensive coat of paint.

This same theory can be applied to many other things as well. For example: that women hate problems.

In Chinese, the symbol for crisis is the same as opportunity. I haven’t looked that up, but I heard it from a man so it’s probably true because us men have something called integrity. This means that in a time of crisis, we men are at our show stopping best. Take a flat tire on a moonless night for instance. While a man is out changing nuts and bolts and doing all manner of screwing on the side of the road, will a woman so much as think to grab a flashlight and help? No.

That’s because women hate holding flashlights, because they are complete rubbish at it. Force a woman to hold a flashlight when it matters and you’re likely to catch her aiming it into the sky for absolutely no goddamn reason. You’re better off just duct taping it to a mailbox and catapulting it into space.

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Comment by Female
2005-12-09 21:07:43

To quote google, “Did you mean non-sequiturs?”

 
Comment by Undergroundpatriot
2005-12-09 20:57:12

More non-sequitirs from the retarded sex, YAWN…

 
Comment by Female
2005-12-09 20:45:44

Clearly you are horrible in bed. Women don’t hate sex, they probably just hate it with you.

 
Comment by Undergroundpatriot
2005-12-09 20:33:30

Women hate sex because it is a selfless act of giving. Most women in America are selfish nags that use sex as a weapon. I say give each of those pidgeons a dollar and send them on their way. Of course they aren’t even worth the dollar :)

 
Comment by Arielle
2005-12-04 13:09:29

That’s something new I’ve learned - I had never heard anyone say that men liked cars and such because they couldn’t have children. (Of course, I try to avoid stupid people and feminists.)

 
Comment by Female
2005-12-04 02:05:54

gee that’s lousy

 
Comment by Kev
2005-12-04 01:38:14

Of course it makes no sense to you Female because you are more preoccupied with whether you marked the calender for your mothers birthday then actually being concerned that at some point your car may break down. That’s what men do, figure out what is to break next so we can “schedule” a time to repair what you don’t give a shit about.

Let me break it down for you. Men like to create things for their own reasons. Some people comment on this by saying we are doing this because we can’t bear children. According to them, we need to create things out of gelousy. Not so. I create things because I like to do it. Still with me on this? That story led to this one:
Now, women like to say that a man will not help with taking care of a child.
And women like to state that often. But you never here a women say, “my husband is great, he fixed our washing machine and it saved us $350 in repairs because we didn’t need a repair man”. Make sense now?
Oh, and Big Al, if you are male, you would be on my side or do you live with your mother?

 
Comment by Big Al
2005-12-03 15:17:33

Stop it, Female. You’re cracking me up.

 
Comment by Big Al
2005-12-03 01:16:54

Female and the spambot make about as much sense as each other.

 
Comment by Female
2005-12-02 01:27:26

That made no sense whatsoever. I think it was something about laundry.

 
Comment by Kev
2005-12-01 21:50:51

This is one of the biggest irritants that I come across a lot. People (mostly women) say that a man will create something or love his car because he can not bear children. Boy that pisses me off. I like to create a hot rod or put a blower on a 69 chevy BECAUSE I WANT TO. It’s the same as saying that women water the lawn a lot because they can’t pee when standing. Sounds ridiculous? Stated to me, the creativity due to non-bearing children clause, it’s sound just the same, ridiculous.
And women take every advantage to state that they are taking care of a sibling as if they are doing it alone. They tend to forget who does the rest of the jobs around the house when given the opportunity to acknowledge the other “unforseen” things like who fixed the washing machine when it was broken and saved the family about $350 worth of repairs.
Funny how that is eh??

 
Comment by Christian J
2005-11-28 19:08:27

Too little, too late.

 
Comment by Big Al
2005-11-28 18:43:38

The volvocars.com web page on the YCC is beyond parody.

“A car designed to put you in control in traffic and in your life.”

As if a car could un-fuckup a woman’s life.

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2005-11-28 17:25:36

Jesus, that’s hilarious.

It’s like the third bullet point that women can fit their purses and laptops in the center console without that “bulky” emergency brake cluttering up everything.

-Dick

 
Comment by Geeza
 
Comment by Geeza
2005-11-28 10:54:01

christianj said:

To wimmin, it was ” why do men look under the bonnet”.

They honestly cannot see the reason for doing so. They beleive that if you talk to it nicely or send it a christmas card every year, it will perform.
Ignorance is bliss.

I kid you not.

To most women, an automobile is just another mystery to add to all the other things about which women know absolutely nothing about.

A bunch of women at Volvo designed a concept car which according to them would require ‘almost no maintennance’ and therefore did not require a bonnet at all. Of course being a womens car, it would also include sensors to tell the driver if the car will fit into a parking space.

See the YCC at Volvo cars.

The laughable thing is that none of the design features is original. It just shows what the priorities are for a woman as far as a car is concerned. They dont want to look at the engine, dont know how to judge parking distances and need to get the shopping into the car as quickly as possible.

 
Comment by christianj
2005-11-26 23:32:14

Badkitty said:

I feel so sorry for you…maybe it’s just the women where you live…visit the East Coast, travel some, I know maybe…one or two women like that…LOL I’ve taught boys how to change tires…lol and I’m the only I know that can pour a new bottle of oil into my truck without spilling it. I don’t know any men that can do that….you really need to find a new crowd of women to hang out with.

WOw, like someone cares.

 
Comment by christianj
2005-11-26 23:30:46

“Whether it be that the task we perform are to complicated for understanding or that what we are performing a service much like looking at a mechanic behind a glass window. They stare in bewilderment and when handed the flashlight they give you that “What’s this forâ€? look. Hand that same flashlight to another man, they point it at the work and hence, the job gets done.”

I can remember one of those idiot programs that the pro-feminazies use to put on the idiot box.
You know the one that showed another one of those ” priviledged” bitches and this time they tried to ridicule males for the simple reason of opening a bonnet of a vehicle.

The funny thing was that they were trying to humilate a male for having the termerity to open a bonnet of a car when it had roken down.

Now to a male there are 2 options.

1. fix it
2 get a mechanic to fix it.

To wimmin, it was ” why do men look under the bonnet”.

They honestly cannot see the reason for doing so. They beleive that if you talk to it nicely or send it a christmas card every year, it will perform.
Ignorance is bliss.

I kid you not.

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2005-11-25 11:04:42

lolita was a spam bot.

-Dick

 
Comment by Kirsty
2005-11-25 09:39:42

So what’s that in English, lolita?

 
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