Women Could Be Great…
Through some creative editing liberties, the Dr. Phil show gave America this gem from yours truly, Dick Masterson.
“Women could be great.” -Dick Masterson
Just like everything I’ve ever said or ever will say, I stand by that. Women could be great. Women could be successful, intelligent, happy, and even wise. They just have to follow these two steps:
1. Shut the fuck up.
2. Listen to a man.
And then repeat those steps as often and as quickly as possible. Otherwise, what you have on your hands is an unhappy bitch who needs a leash.
“Shut the fuck up and listen to a man,” is the missing page from my All Purpose Womanual for Ladies the Dr. Phil people chopped off. A puppet can’t fuck up, and neither can a woman while she’s doing what she’s told. I have personally seen a woman hook up a stereo. It was amazing, it turned me on, and she did it by following my instructions as silently as possible.
But does she deserve any credit? How is hammering in a nail yourself different from instructing a woman to hammer in a nail? In the latter case, you’re just using an extra tool and taking twice as long. The man-brain is still calling the shots.
How is being the president of the United States different from instructing your wife to do it? If she’s following my Womanual, you just bought yourself a second term.
There has been no great human endeavor dependent on a woman. Science, medicine, the Kentucky Derby, even motherhood is dependent on a man. Without a man, motherhood is called “martyrdom”. Getting drunk with no panties on and passing out outside of a club does not count as a “great human endeavor”. And “dependent on” does not mean “employs a statistically representative sample”. That is bullshit.
The percentage of women who were Leonardo da Vinci is always going to be zero.
Men have an inherent greatness and betterness over all things. We can understand where facts and figures come from. Contrary to what women believe, statistics are not brought into our lives by a magical man-stork who wants to punish women with math. Quite the contrary. Statistics are a numerical representation of reality. For example, the statistic that says the average American woman is 5′4″ and weights 165 lbs. is a numerical representation of the reality that American women are big fat fucking pigs.
Here’s another statistic: 100% of Australian women are frigid and annoying.
Men can grasp the nature of cause, effect, and their implications on the world around us. We can create something of value from nothing. We can have sex with many different partners while not feeling bad about it. That’s awesome.
Women could be great. But just because a log could be a cigar store Indian doesn’t mean it won’t get termites. Just because a woman apes her way into the Fortune 500 doesn’t mean she isn’t a single romantic addiction away from epic self-sabotage.
There is no exception to the rule. There is only submission to it.
Tossing scads of “successful” women into a bag, lighting it on fire, and then putting it on my door step is not a practical joke against me and it’s certainly not a practical joke against manliness. It proves my fucking point. The only way women can be successful is by acting like men for as long as their wicked tongues will let them. That doesn’t mean some women are great. That doesn’t mean some women could be great. That means men are better than women.
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January 4th, 2008 at 5:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: 55548152be297
I knew that there was a grey area… sort of like this Mangina!
January 4th, 2008 at 6:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: 55548152be297
That’s why women can’t be trusted to be in combat or any other position that requires attention to detail. Additionally, I wouldn’t piss on fire to put out a golddigger such as this woman. You scream proof that women are legal prostitutes (buy you a car and diamonds?????) simply attempting to suck the life force and money out of men who actually work for it. What a joke!
Here’s an inspiring story: My child’s mother is now facing Child abduction charges for dissapearing and violating a court order for custody! For all you Men out there that have a similiar experience go to http://www.missingkids.com or call 1-800-THE-LOST (a cop actually recommended this). They will send the miserable harpy that is/was your ex wife or Child’s mother straight to Federal court for keeping your kids from you!
If there was any doubt that women are horrible at raising children, Britney loses her kids again for being a Crack whore. MENAREBETTERTHANWOMEN!
January 4th, 2008 at 11:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 720a12647a390
While I think the poster calling herself “I” is definitely a retard for other reasons, and also while “malested” is most certainly incorrect spelling, Honour, is spelt Honour, when you speak read, write and spell properly using good English. Oh, and its Colour, Beetroot and Aluminium too for that matter :-P
January 4th, 2008 at 11:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: 720a12647a390
Oh, and sorry as fuck to hear about the bitch running off with your kids too mate. I’ll live in hope they prosecute the fuck out of her and you get full custodial rights as a result.
January 5th, 2008 at 6:29 am - IP Man-Hash: 5cfc4fdf87f79
Actually you are both wrong. Both spellings are correct. You are using the British version Zardoz, and although it is acceptable to use the British spelling, the other is more common of the two in America.
January 5th, 2008 at 6:32 am - IP Man-Hash: 720a12647a390
I “speak English” rather than “talk American” heheh, but my post was intended to be light hearted shit-picking. Something men understand, now why are you in our locker-room again?
January 5th, 2008 at 6:39 am - IP Man-Hash: 5cfc4fdf87f79
Cool down, I come in peace.
January 5th, 2008 at 6:42 am - IP Man-Hash: 720a12647a390
“Shoot to kill” usually follows that statement.
January 5th, 2008 at 6:44 am - IP Man-Hash: 5cfc4fdf87f79
Now why do you want to be rude? I am being nice.
January 5th, 2008 at 9:58 am - IP Man-Hash: 4866906c4ed64
I can imagine a world where there were no guns and wars and everyone lived in harmony. I can imagine us attacking that world because they would never suspect it.
January 5th, 2008 at 3:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 55548152be297
Lets not forget one of the top ten reasons Men are better than women per the Lord of Men; Dick Masterson:
‘Boys destroy things’
Additionally, thanks to both Zardoz and JLA for correcting my spelling mistakes. I live in the United States so ‘Honor’ is spelt as such whereas I was raised in Europe and know the spelling of such words in British english is different.
January 7th, 2008 at 8:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4145f492dd429
did anyone know women invented the fire exscape, bullet proof vests, and windshield wipers???
January 7th, 2008 at 9:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: 540f95f4d5a0c
“We have a sophist on our hands?” First of all, vagina’s aren’t even supposed to be here. Part of the reason being, they can’t seem to understand logic or facts if their mother’s were drowning them in it.
What part of the url and its’ accompanying concepts do you find funny?
Do you really have a problem realizing that not only have men done so much more to move society forward, and continue to do so, but if as a society, we got serious about squashing any furthur debate about which sex is superior, via head-to-head competition in any area of human endeavor, short of more politically correct favoritisms, such as handicapping, men would “clean your clocks.”
By the way, ladies. The fact that YOU know someone who defeated a man in this, that, or the other, means zilch.
I’m talking about a competition where the known best 10 or so in any area of human achievement are going head to head (not some over-the-hill Bobby Riggs versus BJK type nonsense).
You want something entertaining, Sara? That ought to do it.
January 8th, 2008 at 1:41 am - IP Man-Hash: 53f0576a18a9e
You want to compare the number of women inventions vs the number of men? Don’t fucking kid me, slut. Fuck off.
January 8th, 2008 at 9:00 am - IP Man-Hash: 6d2bcc78aa95d
The first patent granted to a woman was in 1637. In the UK, there had been 500 women inventors between that time and 1914.
So, 500 women inventors, not bad, but that’s just a drop in the bucket compared to all the male inventors. Also, that number has dropped to less than half since then, I guess they reached thier peak.
There are exceptions to everything, I can believe that some women can be more than bitchy, self-centered, manipulative, hate mongers… I just can’t ever find one.
January 15th, 2008 at 6:29 am - IP Man-Hash: f466d48b7705d
“How is being the president of the United States different from instructing your wife to do it? If she’s following my Womanual, you just bought yourself a second term.”-Dick Masterson
Don’t you mean a 3rd term my good sir? With a slight possibility of a 4th in the future? Slick Willy served two 4 year terms… Slight error, but your point is still adamantly and altruistically true. The only reason Hillary would take office is because manly men want to get Bill back in there.
January 15th, 2008 at 6:47 am - IP Man-Hash: f466d48b7705d
“and isn’t it strange how most men in prison are MALE?”
No dumbass, because all men in prison are by definiton male. Are you talking about transexuals? You stupid fuck… *sigh*
January 15th, 2008 at 7:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 27c303354f5b2
Welcome to the site! Feel free to sign up at the forums.
January 16th, 2008 at 3:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: ee9bd7481297e
It’s quite sad how a site can stir such misunderstanding towards women.
As men here can simply make a generalization of all women by judging a few of them, so can we. Haven’t you realized what people that come here deem you of?
In fact, I know you wouldn’t care, as I know I don’t really care about what is written here because, as a person, regardless of my sex, I know that these is just an opinion that tries to put down a whole side of humanity.
Being a women is also being a human being, and as such, we have a mind of our own. We think too, in fact all the men I know like that a woman has a mind of her own.
After all, wouldn’t it be boring for you, “men”, if women stopped being a challenge for you all? Is it really better to be with someone that doesn’t think for her own or that doesn’t have the initiative to do anything alone?
March 5th, 2008 at 1:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2e156e431b91f
“Oh and by the way I came from a single mother and guess what? I’m an honours student in university and I have never ever ever been in any kind of trouble… weird. You shouldn’t generalize so much. A lot of people who are fucked up and in prison were malested by men… and it’s weird how you don’t see many women running around raping people and malesting children… or robbing stores… and isn’t it strange how most men in prison are MALE?
Female inmates are more likely than male inmates to have histories of serious physical or sexual abuse… (prob by men).
Number of men in prison: 1,458,363
Number of women in prison: 112,498
(these are recent US statistics)
Perhaps men are the burden here… I donno though…”
Are you counting the number of men placed in prison by false rape charges? How about child support after you had an affair and fucked off with the children?
There are a million and one reasons as to why there are more men in jail but the big umbrella casting a shadow over nearly all of it is feminism. Does it seem coincidental that before women were given all these rights, that they surely do not deserve, society was far better off?
False rape charges were rarely heard of, everyone did as they were told and most everyone functioned as a valuable member of society. But as a result of women’s new found power through nagging and stamping/kicking their feet at the governments we have now reduced us to having ~240,000 sites dedicated to eliminating males from the gene pool; but as soon as a small site written by a person with more sense than any of those web mistresses combined you’re all up in arms? Talk about hypocrisy…