How To Shut a Woman Up
Women don’t actually want equality. Women are like the five year old that wants a dog for Christmas and we men are like parents. You’re not getting a fucking dog. Five year olds don’t get dogs because they have no responsibility. They’re immature. They get goldfish or Nintendo’s or other things that don’t require moments from their precious days of doing nothing.
Equality for women is exactly the same. Let me give an example.
There’s six ways to make a woman shut her fucking mouth — and you can count five of them on your hand.
I’m kidding of course. I would never advocate violence against women. Women are like television sets. They’re fun to watch, and smacking them around rarely improves their malfunction. When they start acting up and getting old on you, it’s just time to get a new one.
The sixth way to get a woman to shut the fuck up is not a joke. Women bitch and moan about equality like a baby whinging for its bottle. What happens when a baby gets its bottle? It shuts the fuck up.
Does that sound radical? Giving a woman equality? Perhaps even a bit mad?
Your man-stincts are correct. Giving women equal of anything is a stupid idea: voting rights, custody, slices of delicious pie. No matter what, you end up with something that isn’t pretty and is about ten to twenty years away from biting you in your man ass.
Think about it for a minute. If women really wanted equality, why dress like whores? And why all the silliness with alimony? Alimony is more objectifying and exploitive than prostitution, porno, and the entire Blackula series combined. All it’s saying is that the only thing women can do in the world is fuck for money. It’s a severance package for retired whores. But I digress.
I said earlier that I would be dispensing the mystical secret that has haunted man since the beginning of time. Not where we’re from or where we’re going, but how to shut women the fuck up. It’s easy. All you have to do is speak to them like equals. For example, what would you say if your very good man friend was drunk or hypnotized into losing Man Points and came up with a comment like, “Kathy at work is such a bitch. I don’t know why she hates me.”
Something immediately springs to mind.
“Who the fuck cares.”
Give the baby her bottle. And silence, my man friends, is golden.
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August 30th, 2007 at 11:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: a13ba81333017
@Mansvoice- I hate to interfere with a glorious rant, but…
I think that has to be one of the most glorious Freudian slips of all time. Total man-kudos. Man points all around, to you, and every man who reads that.
-wolfe
August 30th, 2007 at 11:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: 82017df8ad3f0
@ Wolfe: Yeah, even when a man slips, he does it gracefully. My bad. Hehe.
August 31st, 2007 at 10:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 43a15a7732fec
@ Mansvoice- You’re right in saying that equality requires both equal rights and responsibilities, and I agree that that should include equal punishments for crimes and equality in divorce laws. However, I don’t agree that the fact that the vast majority of people in the military are men means that men should have more rights than women.
I’m not sure if Signapore is different, but in the United States, while the government is able to impliment the draft, it doesn’t at this time, and I don’t believe it has since Vietnam. A minority of particularly strong and capable men voluntarily choose to enter the military and protect their country. Many men I know probably wouldn’t be able to enter the military even if they wanted to (at least for combat), and are therefore as much under the military’s protection as I am. Why then should non-military men have more rights than I do? The elderly, ill, and handicapped are also not strong enough for the military and are under the military’s protection, should they too have less rights? A civilized society doesn’t allow the strong to abuse the weak and allocate rights depending upon physical strength.
August 31st, 2007 at 7:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: ccf3bc782b7e2
@ Alex: Yes it is different in Singapore in the sense that it is mandatory(for men) to enter military service when we are 18. What I am saying is this Alex. Your gender is DEPENDENT upon men for survival. How is that equal? Your gender is dependent upon us for protection.
If you want equality, you have to scrape off protection. That means no men will be protecting you because men hate feminist(you should know from the traffic of this site that 9 out of 10 men hate feminists). You also have to scrape off demanding men to be gentlemanly because why should we be? This is an equal society eh? So a woman should pay the(her) tabs, open her own doors?
Dont tell me I am using warped logic alex. You know what I mean. Currently, we men have this button on our tables. Its for men only. Its called the “Push me” button. The men on this site have awakened to the evils of feminism and have pushed the button. Go on and abuse your rights; more buttons will be pushed and you will be forcifully given “equality” and i swear to you it wont be nice.
August 31st, 2007 at 9:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: 43a15a7732fec
But as I said, weaker men are dependent upon stronger men for protection (as men who are not strong or capable enough to enter the military still depend on the military, the police, etc. to protect them). The ill, elderly, and handicapped are also dependent upon strong men for protection.
Personally I don’t demand men be gentleman. I pay my half for all dates, open my own doors, etc.
August 31st, 2007 at 9:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: ccf3bc782b7e2
Well like I said, the military isnt the only form of protection. It is the MOST tangible one but it clearly isnt the only form of protection. I am referring to protection in general - all forms : laws, society’s demands to ‘defend’ a woman etc. As for the ill, elderly, handicapped being dependent upon strong men for protection, yeah they are. But guess what makes the difference between them and you women? They accept it with thanks. They dont fuck around and demand shit because they know we can EASILY turn on them ANY time.
You women take all that shit for granted and demand for “more”. Fuck you.
November 21st, 2007 at 1:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: 21b145536d866
I am sure that Chantal is attempting to make a good point. But I must say that not all women are equal to men. Though I feel that if a women puts her mind to it and works hard(on her own/ as in with out climbing the man tree to get there) she could be rightly considered as an equal.
And by the way, I would gladly come put a new transmission in your truck. Maybe you need some work done to your house. I can do that as well.
November 21st, 2007 at 1:58 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4076eab7a5c7e
I think the guy would actually like to be able to drive his truck one day. I’m sure you can hang a few wallpapers up or nail a picture on the wall, but if we relied on women to actually build the houses we lived in we would be homeless.
December 5th, 2007 at 2:06 am - IP Man-Hash: a8c12c0566c28
Has anyone read any apocalyptic novels or End of the World type Sci-Fi?
I bet not one bitchy women has, because guess what happens when all this facade of civilization falls? If a real disaster happens, I should say when it happens(Global warming, asshole third world leader launches nuke, energy crisis yadadadadaa you know it will come sooner or later) guess what all the pissed off guys will be doing?
You’ll see a bunch of rabid wolves out on the tear, getting some balance. Beware!!! The pendulum swings…always, sure in the Eighties and since it’s been swinging straight at Man’s face and now that wave has reached it’s peak and it’s receding and fast, time is up femmies… so better watch the news and stock up.
But then REAL men will still be around to save your sorry, pleading, hysterical ass won’t they? In the end isn’t it always the tears, that pathetic irritating, whowhwohwowhowwoh that no Man can stand for a second?? It isn’t really chivalry, we just can’t stand that whiny crap, it gives us a headache and helping you dumb shits is the lesser of two pains.
This is a kickass site Dick, I rock and roll on the floor with laughter even though my girl just doesn’t get it, it just pisses her off to see me laughing when reading your comments. I told her OK darling, I’ll just read when you’re not around!
Dick is one smart cookie, he knows the time is ripe for Man’s comeback, what would Hunter S, Thompson have thought of all of this Manly talk I wonder??? What about my fave Beatle John Lennon??? They would’ve told you that Dick you are at the front of the pack…LEAD ON!!
Even your preview kicks ass, it’s in real time, that is wicked Dude. Good thinking.
December 5th, 2007 at 2:51 am - IP Man-Hash: 41f6de747e750
Damn right. +100 manpoints. Welcome aboard. Do sign up at the forums and feel free to post.
December 5th, 2007 at 3:55 am - IP Man-Hash: a8c12c0566c28
Wow, this Dick is incredible, I just recently read some of his relevant contributions and any Man would know that it was a link I followed it and after a few secs is here and honestly:Dick on Dr. Phil
November 8, 2007 – 8:50 am
When I was first asked to appear on the Dr. Phil show, I had one major concern. I had recently shaved my mustache and the short notice of the show gave me only a few days to grow another one.
Mission Accomplished.
For the record, I’m at least six feet tall; 6′2″ in man-inches. Dr. Phil just happens to be a giant in size — most likely due to the unceasing growth of his corporate empire. A word to the wise: if you’re going on the Dr. Phil program, wear platforms or stilts. The studio audience loves a good “short joke”.
Shortness is the only prejudice they are allowed.
While you, the viewing audience, did see me bring one bowling-pin-shaped, over-educated shrew to the brink of tears, the show cut one unfortunate, elderly woman who was already weeping before she began speaking. I made her “sad”. To that end, I must reiterate the following:
There are no women allowed on my website, and no women are allowed to buy my book. Condensed manliness is overwhelming to the female emotional palette. And I don’t like making old ladies cry.
What the show also cut was a brilliant narrative/documentary that was filmed a week prior. Myself and a camera crew caught a young woman flirting her way out of a speeding ticket. It’s a practice that we are all familiar with. It’s a practice that will continue forever because women are prostitutes — whether they put out or not.
Another elderly lady also told the six of us that we were the reason there’s a war going on in Iraq. Thankfully, that was cut. I think women looked bad enough as it was.
HST followed naturally out of his phrases, speech, friggin a , it matches 100%. Sheizer! Try it yourself, read all of Dick’s masterpieces while incurring the funtanstic and original manly voice of my best buddy HST or if ya don’t know how. well just follow Johnny Depps excellent reproduction of said Manquire Extrodinaire!!
Hey Dude what’s up with the lame excuse about shaving a moustache… you either have one or just can’t and then pretend your Women’s isn’t there. LOL
December 5th, 2007 at 3:58 am - IP Man-Hash: a8c12c0566c28
Anyway, I’m on a roll so i just tell all you stupes, WAKE UP! Ya all dumbass peeps ya don’t start thinkin’ smart. Stand up for ya rights don’t let someone take ya house to give it to somune else?
December 5th, 2007 at 11:13 am - IP Man-Hash: 0a379370a5fd8
Give that Steeltrap 5 Dick-Cookies, and a sixer of M.A.S.H. beer from the ’80’s.
What we got here kids is a Man-Velution of nasty ass Manly proportions.
It is like going to your favorite restaraunt and buying that kick-ass manly Chicken-Man-Fried steak as big as your head. No, put ALL that gravy on their goddamnit! I ain’t here to half-ass the bullshit you know. Does it look like I ordered a fucking salad? No, I did fucking NOT.
So, watch out ladies, right after a BM that rocks my house and world, I am coming for YOU. Or, at least a case and a half of Pepto……….
January 8th, 2008 at 5:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 320d12acdedce
request you to give me a suggestion on how to fuck a women to get a male baby because now I am having 3 female babies.
January 8th, 2008 at 8:40 am - IP Man-Hash: d361f6c058cc7
I can’t wait until the economy goes in the shitter. Soccer moms will be giving blowjobs to fill up their suvs.
March 4th, 2008 at 8:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: f43d7e88a0431
Womyn? What in the land of misspelling-words-to-make-me-seem-more-hip-and-educated is that?
Excuse me, I’m a woman. Not a womyn.
Feminism is more than “equality of the sexes”. If you researched it at all, you would know that. You would also know that feminism is ripe with failings and that you’d best not associate with it if you wanted any change. If you want equal pay and all the trimmings, earn it. Don’t graduate with Women’s studies. Go become a CPA or a teacher and ask for a pay raise once you’ve earned it. At the very least, find a cause that will do the world good like tutoring poor children at the library.
March 4th, 2008 at 10:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: 720a12647a390
I do believe yet another woman has earned my respect. I’ll be damned but there ARE surprises in this world after all..
May 6th, 2008 at 9:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: ae7411819c740
Diet and timing. Salty foods, red meats, pickles, olives, fish, eggs, sweet corn, figs, apricots, raisins, dried prunes, beans, avocado, zucchini and mushrooms. Try to keep her diet anti-acidic and have her drink 2-3 cups of green tea starting the day her period is over. Most importantly, have sex about 4 days before her ovulation.
Three females?.. phew you are in for it.
May 8th, 2008 at 3:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: ae30d613b33c3
Dude you totally just shut that bitch THE FUCK UP! Major man props.
May 8th, 2008 at 7:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: f6cfa606775a6
So, I just got left because I’m in a rut in my life. Why would a woman leave a guy for being in a rut? OH, YEAH, no mother fucking money to support their fucking jewelry fetish. I fucken forgot that shit.